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Gender Queer: a Memoir
Gender Queer: a Memoir | Maia Kobabe
152 posts | 142 read | 1 reading | 77 to read
In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, Gender Queer is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity--what it means and how to think about it--for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere.
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Singout
Pickpick

An eye-opening and vulnerable sharing of the author‘s coming-out story as non-binary, in a culture that still is largely fixated on people identifying as one gender or the other, even if they are LGBT. I particularly appreciated the author‘s emergence reflected in varying responses of friends and family and ongoing fear of coming out and how to articulate it. I could also appreciate the extreme pain of a Pap test! #Nonfiction2024 #Genderqueer

TheBookHippie I learned a lot reading this one. 4w
17 likes1 comment
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Kenyazero
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Thanks everyone for the helpful suggestions for ways to make these tiny books turn out better! I realized I could post a picture showing off the books themselves. I made two copies of each book as an experiment, one with small versions of the existing book pages and one with book info to be a book recommendation. I'll probably only do the version that can be a recommendation instead of the small pages version moving forward. #LitsyCrafters

Kenyazero (one reason I need to modify how I make the books: all of the books scattered in these pictures were not pulled out. Because they warped a bit, they pop out when books are removed!) 1mo
julesG I love these tiny books! 1mo
Clare-Dragonfly These are so impressive! 1mo
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Dilara Very impressive and pretty! This must have been so much work 😻 1mo
Catsandbooks Love these! 1mo
Kenyazero @julesG @Clare-Dragonfly @Dilara @Catsandbooks Thank you! I'll definitely post update photos as I finish the outsides and when I get the books materials figured out. 1mo
26 likes6 comments
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TheIntrovertedDodoBird
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Pickpick

This memoir has been a real roller coaster ride. I wish I could travel back in time & hand it to my teenage self; the kid who only had a sense of 'otherness' in their vocabulary to describe their experience. Pages came & went in a blur because I had tears in my eyes. I've never resonated with a person more or felt less alone in my life. It was quite jarring because I felt as though I had written parts. I'm so grateful that a book like this exists.

Jari-chan 🫂🫂 5mo
LeeRHarry 🫂 💕 5mo
Chelsea.Poole 🤍 5mo
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LiteraryinPA 💗💗💗 5mo
TieDyeDude So glad you found a connection with this book. I've read it three times. It is such a powerful and important story. (edited) 5mo
Reggie The author is so funny, too. When Maia makes that joke about Lady Gaga, I was born this way. Too cute. This is a very special book. 5mo
48 likes6 comments
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TheIntrovertedDodoBird
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This has been a cathartic reading experience.

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TheIntrovertedDodoBird
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I've never, in all my days, resonated with a person more.

lil1inblue 💖 💖 💖 5mo
Bookwomble ❤️ 5mo
37 likes2 comments
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Daily
Pickpick

Experiencing Gender Queer was transformative. Maia tells their story of self-discovery, and navigating gender with a lot of candidness and vulnerability. From the very first chapter, I was enthralled. Maia‘s progression from confusion, then realization, to finally embracing, is one that I think a lot of people (regardless of gender, sexuality, or simply existentially) can relate to...
Full Review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/6615523708

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thewallflower0707
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In the last two to three years, my local bookstores have really stepped up their game for #Pride month! 🏳️‍🌈

#LGBT #bookstore

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Jeg
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Pickpick

A beautiful story. I was a bit teary at the end with the note to es parents. @LeeRHarry I‘m so glad I found this book. Explains a lot to me. I‘m getting a copy for my 16 year old grandson. Though he well may have read it already. A very heart felt memoir. I‘m not a graphic novel fan but the words and drawings are clear and very well done.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

LeeRHarry Glad you enjoyed it 😊 7mo
15 likes1 comment
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Jeg
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This graphic novel , a memoir, has been banned in some states in the US. Now a Queensland politician has been trying to ban it here in Australia. Taking his case to the high court!! I can‘t believe it. It was published in 2020.
It is Maias story. I‘m looking forward to reading it .

LeeRHarry I thought this was great, hope you do too. 😊 7mo
CarolynM 🤬🤬🤬 7mo
Rissreads Let‘s hope the politician doesn‘t succeed. We managed to overturn the same sex parenting book ban in Sydney. Hopefully commonsense will prevail! 7mo
13 likes3 comments
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lil1inblue
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Sadly, the most banned book of 2021 and 2022.

#ittakesallkinds #controversial #bookbansaretheworst

Eggs 💚🧡💛 9mo
21 likes1 comment
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ElizaMarie
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My February Graphic Novel #WrapUp
#NotAnotherGraphicMonday

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ElizaMarie
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My #FebruaryPick for my #BookBracket2024 graphic novel bracket 🩷 #NotAnotherGraphicMonday

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ElizaMarie
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Pickpick

This is a great memoir. I feel such sadness for those of you out there who feel uncomfortable with presenting yourself as is. Some of the panels talked about not staying up for yourself because you didn't want to seem rude. Ugh! That speaks to me. Please all know #YouAreSafeWithMe and please #StandUp
#BannedBook

29 likes2 stack adds
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ElizaMarie
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I searched for the most #BannedBooks in 2023 and this one made the top 10. Here goes! Lets see what made everyone angry. 😡

My little lady, Zoey isn't ready for today.
#PugLife
#DogsOfLitsy

dabbe 🖤🐾🖤 10mo
Leftcoastzen Awww!cuteness! 10mo
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks 🐶🐾❤️ 10mo
29 likes3 comments
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MysticFaerie
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Pickpick

4.5⭐️/5⭐️

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mdemanatee
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Stopped at Harold Washington and found a new to me Banned Books display on the third floor. I love that they‘re putting challenged and banned books front and center of a busy part of the library!

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Lindy
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Friday Reads Nov 10: GG awards; PW Best of 2023; recent Canadian fiction; comics memoirs etc
https://youtu.be/H2oJJhcu4ho

33 likes1 stack add
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vlwelser
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Pickpick

This book is fantastic. The author is so brave to tell this story. Would I have bought this book if it wasn't so controversial? Likely not. Do I understand why people are all fired up about this? Maybe? Do I get why people are calling it porn? Definitely not. As a popular meme pointed out, if books turn you into things, where are all the wizards and vampires?

#BookSpinBingo @TheAromaofBooks

TheAromaofBooks Great progress!! 14mo
40 likes1 comment
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TieDyeDude
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I posted about banned books week in our bookclub's Facebook feed, recommending Gender Queer, and of course someone posted a page out of context to support restriction of the book. People these days...

wanderinglynn Seriously, troglodytes. 🙄 1y
LocalTXLibrarian I'm glad that you're posting about banned books! We had a fiasco at our library last year after I posted the ALA's Top 10 Banned Books during Banned Book Week, mainly about Gender Queer, for basically the same reason. 🙄 🙄 1y
Megabooks I am so glad my library still has this one. Asexuality is so misunderstood still even with increasing LGBTQ+ awareness and even by people who are sympathetic and trying to be allies much less troglodytes. (edited) 1y
SamAnne I live near Idaho and the stories coming out of there are so depressing. 1y
41 likes4 comments
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Sharpeipup
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How timely for my library hold to finally come during #bannedbookweek

LibrarianRyan Yeahh. I really liked this book. 1y
34 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Lauredhel
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Pickpick

Kicking off October's Wicked Words with the bonus Banned Book prompt (and for bonus-bonus points, I borrowed it from a US library): Gender Queer is an excellent, accessible, frank graphic memoir of what it was like for Maia Kobabe to grow up gender queer (nonbinary and ace)

#wickedwords @AsYouWish #bannedbooks

61 likes1 stack add
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Jari-chan
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Pickpick

This Graphic Novel is so intense, that I had to pause every now and then while reading it. So many things were familiar to me, and still it helped me seeing things differently. This book might help many people finding their true self. There's no shame in being who you are. It's just a shame that people actually remove this title from libraries...

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Branwen
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Banned Books Week is next week! 🎉 It's a celebration of the freedom to read! It's more important than ever to fight for this particular freedom because the number of book challenges/bans across the country has drastically spiked in the last couple of years! 😩 The book pictures hanging up are the top 13 books that have been challenged/banned to most in 2022! It's a scary time to be a librarian/teacher. ❤️

#bannedbooksweek #bannedbooks

Emilymdxn Banned books week is so important!! 1y
wanderinglynn 🎉 I have my banned books jigsaw puzzle all ready to do! I save it for #bannedbooks week. 1y
Branwen @wanderinglynn YAY! That's super exciting! What a cool thing to look forward to! I can't wait to see it when it's done! 📚 1y
Branwen @Emilymdxn It really is! 📚 💙 1y
51 likes4 comments
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SqueakyChu
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I borrowed this book from my library (at least I can in my state!) to see what the fuss is about this book and to learn why it is often known for being “the most #banned book”. I can see how individual parents or teachers would be uncomfortable about some of its contents. However the essential “baring the soul” of the author was necessary to connect with people who have these same questions in order to reach out to them and those who love them.

TheIntrovertedDodoBird I've been meaning to read this one. I'll definitely boost it up my TRP now! 💜🖤🩶🤍🏳️‍⚧️ x 1y
18 likes1 stack add2 comments
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booklover3258
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Pickpick

My review of this book can be found on my YouTube Vlog at:

https://youtu.be/q-FfLvOOylM

Enjoy!

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WriterAtHeart
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Pickpick

What a beautiful memoir written by Maia Kobabe. Maia writes about eir experience growing up and defining eir's sexuality. There are a number of experiences e writes about as well as what e feels as an adult.

#ReadBannedBooks

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CuriousG
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30 book recommendations in 30 days...

Day 20: I anticipated a good read with this one, but had no concept of how much I would learn. Some wonderful perspective provided to help people understand Maia Kobabe's experiences and feelings. #30recsin30days

dabbe Look at dat sweet pup! 🖤🐾🖤 1y
17 likes1 comment
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Aimeesue
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Happy International Non-Binary People‘s Day!
Great read! You‘ll learn a lot. I certainly did!

29 likes1 stack add
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steph_phanie
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Pickpick

Forgot to review this last week! ⭐️⭐️⭐️½

The reason I can't quite give this 4 stars is because I often felt like I had missed a page, so I'd flip back and forth looking for it. However, it turns out that I never missed a page; rather, the story had jumped to a different time/memory with no segue.

Otherwise, I thought Gender Queer was a compelling and moving memoir. Maia shares the highs and lows of eir journey. The graphics were excellent.

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RosePressedPages
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Pickpick

Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈 I‘ve only recently learned about my own identity as queer/bi & acespec, so it was very meaningful to read about someone else‘s journey and challenges. I could connect with Maia‘s experience being asexual, and it was powerful to see how em came to terms with eir gender identity. My reading has been super slow, but I‘m hoping to read more queer books and learn more about other LGBTQIA+ experiences and my own 💗

RosePressedPages I enjoyed This Book is Gay, and I wish I would‘ve had it when I was younger. Similar to Maia, being ace for me means I‘ve been very ignorant of sexuality most of my life. So this was a fun book to learn more. My only complaint was that I didn‘t totally love the author‘s writing style. 2y
Megabooks Great reviews! I‘m aroace and hadn‘t really dug into books about my sexuality until a few years ago. I‘m reading more and more queer literature in general and really enjoying it. 💜🖤🤍 2y
RosePressedPages @Megabooks That‘s awesome! I only realized I was acespec after reading a queer lit with ace rep for the first time. It‘s an amazing experience for sure 2y
Megabooks Yes, I picked up this back in 2016 or 2017 was like, “that‘s me, and that‘s me, and oh that‘s me, too!” 2y
87 likes1 stack add4 comments
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Bookish_Gal
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Pickpick

This is an adult, and mild raw, questioning book: who you are and how you identify. This memoir is very well written and the images clearly define the feeling eir is trying to portray. In this case, non-binary/asexual. While sex is difficult to read (traditional raising) the essence of of the book was still well stated. The finding of the new terms to go with how eir was feeling inside was beautiful. I felt that in my soul. #lgbtq

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Bookish_Gal
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Same!! This book is giving me the most feels because I feel seen. I never understood the hype and desire for relationships that weren‘t for friends. This books is amazing in its openness.

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Catsandbooks
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Pickpick

4.75/5 ⭐️ Beautiful graphic novel memoir I read for the #transrightsreadathon 🏳️‍⚧️

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bibliothecarivs
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Pickpick
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JenReadsAlot
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Pickpick

Fantastic!

Megabooks Agree! 2y
34 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Reggie
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Pickpick

Lol, I love this book so much. Every queer person has these moments when we‘re younger where something happens and a bell rings that nobody but you can hear telling you that something is different for you than how other people perceive and experience something. In Maia‘s case, it was eir gender. This was deeply personal, has these jarring moments of gender dysphoria, but then has these really cute moments of humor. This book is an important pick!

TheBookHippie This is such a good read! 2y
batsy Nice review! I need to add this to my list. 2y
Reggie @TheBookHippie @batsy Kaia is one of us. They have these pages showing the stats of books they read over a 10 year period. They read a lot, write a lot of fanfic. I thought they were great. 2y
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psalva Glad you enjoyed this! After recently rereading it, it‘s confirmed its place as one of my favorite graphic memoirs ☺️ 2y
Reggie @psalva the dreams when Maia is a different gender, the horror of her thinking about being female, the period talk, I like how the lesbian aunt was like as long as this isn‘t about hating women, the one direction fanfic and how Maia was like oh, I need to do some research on kissing, and the Lady Gaga Born this Way joke with Maia smiling so cute to emself in that panel. Maia was being so open and honest. 2y
Christine I love this review (and this book!). 2y
72 likes6 stack adds6 comments
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RowReads1
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31 likes1 stack add
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RowReads1
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ChaoticMissAdventures
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Pickpick

Insane to me that this is the most banned book in the United States.
It is so good. An exploration of body and attraction, and growing up not feeling you fit in your body. It is beautifully told , the artwork is great, and the story is so useful to so many.

Highly recommend.

33 likes1 stack add
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ChaoticMissAdventures
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#TransRightsReadathon

"So Lady Gaga was right - I was born this way."

TheBookHippie I love it! 2y
25 likes1 comment
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psalva
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Pickpick

A reread for #TransRightsReadathon. There are a lot of really important moments depicted in here, which are all so relevant to what kids can go through as they become acquainted with their own sexuality and gender. I was struck by the importance books held in the author‘s journey of self-discovery. It shows the importance of teaching sex/gender topics in school and how everyone can benefit from that. Such an important book!
#asexual #nonbinary

TheBookHippie I agree I have many students I mentor with reading that love this book. 2y
psalva @TheBookHippie Awesome! I can imagine it being really impactful in this context. 2y
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Hooked_on_books
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Pickpick

I‘m not a GN fan, so I wouldn‘t have read this, but I wanted to see why it‘s so often challenged. I am bewildered and disheartened that anyone would want to challenge this beautiful, gentle book. Who among us hasn‘t struggled with who we are or how we fit in the world? This is so relatable and shows the complexity of not fitting a binary in a world that very strongly seems to want to be binary. I hope every questioning kid can read this.

Leftcoastzen I absolutely adore it . Lovely review. 2y
Bookzombie Great review! 2y
TracyReadsBooks Great review. 2y
50 likes1 stack add3 comments
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TieDyeDude
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Pickpick

I reread this important work while killing time as my dogs were being groomed.

ShelleyBooksie Dog photos required! 2y
46 likes1 comment
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reading.rainb0w
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One of the many relatable quotes I found while reading, Gender Queer. 💜💚

Hi, I'm Becca. I'm new here. Hoping to find rad folks to chat books with. 👋🏽

BookmarkTavern Welcome to Litsy! 🎉🎉🎉 2y
reading.rainb0w @ozma.of.oz Thank you! Looking forward to making new bookish friends 😄 2y
BookmarkTavern You‘re in the perfect place for it! 2y
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Chelsea.Poole Glad to have you here! It's my favorite place on the internet :) Also, this was one of my favorite reads last year. Here's more info about Litsy, if you're interested: https://raimeygallant.com/2017/10/31/litsytips/
2y
Lindy Welcome to Litsy! 🌻🏳️‍🌈 2y
reading.rainb0w @Chelsea.Poole thank you so much! Just read the article and it's super helpful 😊 2y
reading.rainb0w @Lindy thank you! Excited to be here 😁 2y
GondorGirl Hello, Becca! Welcome to Litsy... I can't wait to see what you read. 📚🥰 2y
reading.rainb0w @GondorGirl Hi! Looking forward to sharing, and adding more books to my never-ending TBR! 😅🥰 2y
9 likes2 stack adds9 comments
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Leftcoastzen
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#12booksof2022 August pick.I love this graphic novel, I think many could learn from it .It filled me with compassion for Maia , and more understanding of how complicated our relationship even to ourselves can be.I‘m a bit saddened it‘s often mired in controversy.

Andrew65 Ridiculous that it is mired in controversy! 2y
51 likes1 comment
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WorldsOkayestStepMom
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Pickpick

Maia's graphic memoir is so touching! And I learned about a new set of pronouns (E, Em, & Eir).

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ChrysFey
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Pickpick

I was thrilled to discover this is a graphic novel. I chose this book for a reading challenge because of how it‘s been heavily targeted by book bans (and idiots).

I was also pleased to see my nails matched the cover. Milo, my orange tabby who is standing over the book, also matches! 😹

#LGBTQ+ #LGBTQ #LGBTQReads #graphicnovel #graphicnovels

Bookzombie Such a good book and great photo! 2y
26 likes1 comment
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Bookzombie
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#12Booksof2022

I‘ve already fallen behind.

I highly recommend this one. Read it because it‘s great. Read it to learn. Read it because it‘s challenged all over the place. Read it for all the reasons.

Honorary mention to Bridge to Terabithia for devastating me all over again. My husband found me sobbing and asked me if someone had died.

Leftcoastzen It is amazing! 2y
Reggie Oh man, our 3rd or 4th grade teacher read that to us and when she finished all I could think was why would she read this to us?!!!!! I didn‘t realize that kids could die until she read us that book, know what I mean? 2y
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Andrew65 Both great choices. 2y
Bookzombie @Reggie I know what you mean. It‘s so good though. 2y
48 likes7 comments