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Are You My Mother?
Are You My Mother?: A Comic Drama | Alison Bechdel
From the best-selling author of Fun Home, Time magazines No. 1 Book of the Year, a brilliantly told graphic memoir of Alison Bechdel becoming the artist her mother wanted to be.Alison Bechdels Fun Home was a pop culture and literary phenomenon. Now, a second thrilling tale of filial sleuthery, this time about her mother: voracious reader, music lover, passionate amateur actor. Also a woman, unhappily married to a closeted gay man, whose artistic aspirations simmered under the surface of Bechdel's childhood . . . and who stopped touching or kissing her daughter good night, forever, when she was seven. Poignantly, hilariously, Bechdel embarks on a quest for answers concerning the mother-daughter gulf. It's a richly layered search that leads readers from the fascinating life and work of the iconic twentieth-century psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, to one explosively illuminating Dr. Seuss illustration, to Bechdels own (serially monogamous) adult love life. And, finally, back to Motherto a truce, fragile and real-time, that will move and astonish all adult children of gifted mothers.
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blurb
Maggiefrellisch

The book “Are You My Mother“ is a graphic novel about a single, lonely woman and her flawed relationship with her mother. So far in the book, the main character has discussed a bit about her past and her current relationship with her mother. She talks about how hard it is for her to talk to her mother about important issues in her life. The imagery and text in this book is very detailed and helps the reader truly understand Alison and her mother.

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Robotswithpersonality
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Mehso-so

I'll admit I preferred Eastman's work to Bechdel's, though they're not really comparable.
The picture book is sweet. The 'comic drama' could alternatively be titled: woman goes to therapy.
Repeated through each graphic memoir by this author, there is a separation from what she is confronting in her relationships by intersecting with analysis of other texts, this time psychoanalyst works and Virginia Woolf diary/memoirs. Maybe it helps ? 1/?

Robotswithpersonality The art, in the absence of colour and exuberance, is perhaps more fitting for a memoir by focusing on accuracy in reproducing true to life bodies, expressions, still lives of objects, even photographs.
I appreciate the unique structure of each section beginning with a recounted dream and analysis of it. 2/?

2y
Robotswithpersonality What struck me most was the sublimation of self - how much of her mother got lost in the lives of her family, seeming to result in detachment, appears to have formed her unwillingness to embrace all aspects of her daughter's identity, to the extent that she cannot truly celebrate her as a woman or lesbian, how it affects the author's own ability to form healthy relationships and maintain a healthy mindset. 3/4
2y
Robotswithpersonality 4/4 I am glad for the author that she seems to have ended in a place of forgiveness 2y
bnp I didn't get all the way through this one, though I enjoyed Fun Home ( more of a family story). 2y
6 likes4 comments
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Kenyazero
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Pickpick

After years of this being on my TBR, my husband discovered it and really connected with it. Bechdel is even more analytical with this book than the one about her dad, bringing in psychology scholarship to examine her life and relationship with mom. In one panel her therapist suggests her childhood diary was a way to distance herself from what was going on, and I felt like that summarized her style with this book as well. #LGBTQ #MentalHealth

21 likes1 stack add
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thestarlesscasea
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Panpan

I don't love Bechdel's writing/drawing styles, and at the risk of sounding like her unsupportive mother, this often felt self-indulgent, pretentious, arbitrarily and confusingly organized, and boring. At one point Bechdel says to her mother, "Can't you be more universal by being specific?" and usually I agree, but Bechdel intellectualizes her experiences to the extent that there is little to no emotional resonance. Not my cup of tea ??‍♀️

10 likes1 stack add
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CollapsingLibrary
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Starting my next reread while at work. Always feel blessed I have a job I get to read at

jlhammar Great book! Love Alison Bechdel. 3y
49 likes1 comment
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vinniek
Pickpick

This is one heady graphic novel, but worth a read.

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AMITcomic
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Pickpick

It was a long read for me, which I appreciated.
I could read a chapter, set it down and think of it a while. Almost a therapy of a read.
Made me meditate on motherhood from the perspective of a child who has not experienced it.
I appreciate autobio comics, but they really can be very different in style.
This one is more about the author‘s journey through her psyche than actions.
I look forward to her next book.

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AlizaApp
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Mehso-so

I did not love this one quite as much as Fun Home (a high bar). The memoir parts I liked, but this graphic novel was heavy on psychological theory, which I was a lot less interested in.

megnews Reads similar to my review. I felt the same. 5y
27 likes1 comment
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UnRuLee
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Mehso-so

2020 Read Harder Challenge, book 6 of 24 completed.
Prompt: Read a graphic memoir.
Title: Are You My Mother?
Written and drawn by Alison Bechdel

I didn‘t enjoy this one as much as Fun Home—I feel like it‘s a lot more scholarly in a lot of ways. But still, Bechdel has an incredible way of weaving together the threads of her experiences and her learnings and illustrating them. I‘m glad I read it.

megnews I recently reviewed this pretty much the same. Liked the interactions with her mom. The psychoanalytic theories not so much. 5y
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UnRuLee
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“The moment when a feeling enters the body is political. It was only my lesbianism, and my determination not to hide it, that saved me from being compliant to the core.”

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megnews
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Mehso-so

Meh. I saw Fun Home a few years back and decided to check this out. It took me a long time to finish as you can see I started before Christmas. Her story of her relationship with her mom and her writing was interesting. All the psychoanalysis references, not so much. That just wasn‘t my thing.

KathyWheeler I loved Fun Home, but this one bored me to tears. 5y
30 likes1 comment
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megnews
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Story of a mother‘s life!

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allureofbeauty
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And here‘s where “Are You My Mother?” went to when I finished it.
#areyoumymother #alisonbechdel #graphicnovel #littlefreelibrary #summersendreadathon @Clwojick

Clwojick I love bringing books to the #FreeLittleLibrary in my neighbourhood 5y
allureofbeauty @Clwojick I love dropping ones off at the little free libraries. I have a hand full of them in my neighborhood. 5y
25 likes1 stack add2 comments
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allureofbeauty
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Panpan

#summersendreadathon @Clwojick

I wanted to like this. But alas. I started skimming towards the end. Part of the issue might be that it reminded me a bit of an ex of mine.

#areyoumymother #alisonbechdel #graphicnovel

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allureofbeauty
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Clwojick I wasn‘t crazy about this one. How are you liking it so far? 5y
allureofbeauty @Clwojick im not really lol 5y
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BookHermit
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Another gut-punching panel.

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BookHermit
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So sad. No one is ever too old to be kissed goodnight 💔💔💔

TrishB Nope, agree. 5y
Andrew65 Who said this is only right for the very young! We all need love and affection. 5y
21 likes2 comments
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spirituells
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Pickpick

I picked this up again and honestly Alison Bechdel is a genius and rereading her stuff during pride month is a great choice!

It's been a little while since i posted on here since the library i work at has been keeping me super busy but i hope everyone is having a nice weekend! 💙

mommyincolortv I've attempted to read this but could not get into it. Glad you enjoyed it! 5y
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azulaco
Bailedbailed

I couldn‘t get through this one. I wanted to, because I was interested in learning more about Alison Bechdel‘s family after reading Fun Home, but this turned out to be more about Bechdel herself and her therapy journey. Which I may be interested in reading, at another time, but I wasn‘t in the headspace for it currently.

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LibraryCin
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Panpan

This was not only an analysis of the author‘s relationship with her mother, but an analysis of her therapy. Or, that‘s what it felt like, anyway. There were plenty of references to Virginia Woolf and a psychoanalyist, Donald Winnicott, as well as quotes. Cont in comments...

LibraryCin In fact, most of the book felt more like that than looking back at her relationship with her mother, though there was some of that. For that reason, I wasn‘t a fan, though I remember really liking her “Fun Home”, so I was disappointed in this one. 6y
esurient I felt very similarly about this one. 6y
LibraryCin @esurient glad im not the only one! 6y
10 likes1 stack add3 comments
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ladybrightscales
Pickpick

I wish more books 📚 were written like this. ☺

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Gezemice
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Mehso-so

I have loved Fun Home, and had high hopes for this one - alas, I was disappointed. Where Fun Home was profound and revelatory, this book is whiny, self-absorbed and without a clear narrative. I almost gave up about halfway through; thankfully the second half flows better.

“Are You My Mother?” is about Alison‘s therapy sessions; coming to terms with her codependent relationship with her emotionally distant mother. ⭐️⭐️/5
⬇️

Gezemice It is a complicated book, it is hard to review briefly. Full review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2514684127 6y
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Gezemice
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Hmm, wtf? There is a reason Freud is out of style - it is all hokey mumbo-jumbo. Alison, get yourself a modern therapist who teaches you how to calm yourself, not overanalyze.

I loved Fun Home, but this is not working for me. I feel like dnf-ing but it has been on my tbr for so long... what to do, what to do?

KathyWheeler I too loved Fun Home but did not care for this one. I finished it, but that‘s about all I can say for it. 6y
Annashep Fun house was great ... I‘ve read some of this one but not all of it 📚 6y
Gezemice @KathyWheeler @Annashep I am still reading it but not too enthusiastically... 6y
Bookzombie I loved Fun Home, but bailed on this one. 6y
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azulaco
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I was so busy in September! The start of school and kids‘ activities knocked everything sideways! Returned books on time to the library today -yay me! - and got the next three volumes in the cozy mystery series I‘m reading...plus an Alison Bechdel graphic novel. I‘m eclectic.

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SaunteringVaguelyDownwards
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Pickpick

Final beach read! This feels very different from Fun Home, and definitely performs Bechdel's own journey to try and put her relationship with her mother into a narrative.

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Weaponxgirl
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Pickpick

This isn't going to be for everyone and it's not as good as her first but I liked this. There is a lot of psychoanalysis in this and I don't know much about it but it resonated with me. I use novels how she used psychoanalysis, to try to understand myself a bit better. The complicated relationship and what it has done to your own psyche also hit a nerve. It made me think long and hard.It's not what you expect but I'd say give it a try.#read harder

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Deborah42
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Pickpick

A graphic memoir companion to Fun Home (in which the author explores her relationship with her dad). In this one, she takes on her relationship with her mother.

More intellectual than some other graphic memoirs I‘ve read, there are many literary references and an exploration of psychotherapy that shifts perspective back and forth between both sides of the couch.

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Annashep
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Really fancied getting started on another graphic novel ..... Fun house was a really good book so looking forward to this 😊📚

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LaviniaG
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Pickpick

Very insightful, still a bit less interesting than Fun Home (for me, that is).

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JillPill
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Mehso-so

I loved Alison Bechdel's Fun Home so I thought this book would be an instant love also. However, it was far from it. So much psycho babble and analysis that it really turned me off. The last half of the book was better than the beginning but I can't really recommend this one.

Also bonus background cat!

#AlisonBechdel #AreYouMyMother

Gezemice I am reading it and feel exactly the same. 6y
18 likes1 comment
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JillPill
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Trying to work through this one today. It's nowhere near as good as her first book though :/ I'm about a third of the way through but I'm struggling to finish!

#AreYouMyMother #AlisonBechdel

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britt_brooke
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The Bechdels are for me, of course. I‘ve read Fun Home, but it‘s been a few years, and I don‘t think I appreciated it fully first time around.

#libraryhaul #bookhaul #raisingreaders

Natasha.C.Barnes I adored fun home, but if you start reading Are you my mother and think "oh god I hate this, maybe it will get better?"-I'm warning you, it will not. ? 7y
LoveToReadLiveToRead Oooo, what is the ET book?? So cute! 7y
britt_brooke @Natasha.C.Barnes 😆 Thanks for the heads up!! 7y
See All 7 Comments
Natasha.C.Barnes @britt_brooke You may love it, you never know, but always good to known if a book is consistent! 7y
britt_brooke @Lovetoreadlivetoread It‘s very cute! It was published last year and is based on the movie. The illustrations are adorable! 7y
britt_brooke @Natasha.C.Barnes I agree! I‘ll definitely let you know what I think. 👍🏻 7y
LoveToReadLiveToRead @britt_brooke oh cool, I‘ll have to try and get my hands on that, it looks lovely! 7y
147 likes1 stack add7 comments
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LiteraryJackalope
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After reading Fun Home for an LGBTQ+ Book Group in college, and loving it, I thought this would be a slam dunk. I‘m currently about half way through, and it‘s okay bordering on ugh. It just doesn‘t have the story telling quality that I so loved in Fun Home... and a lot of psychoanalysis and psych terminology that is flying right over my head! I‘m determined to finish it, though.

RaimeyGallant Interesting. Welcome to Litsy! #LitsyWelcomeWagon Some of us put together Litsy tips to help new Littens navigate the site. It's the link in my bio on my page in case you're interested. :) 7y
UrsulaMonarch I liked this one but I agree it's pretty different from ! 7y
5 likes3 stack adds2 comments
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mrozzz
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Two of my favorite #graphic novels I got into in college thanks to one of THE best English teachers including Fun Home in our curriculum. #30daysofreadathon
Still love Alison and her story. ✏️🖍

readordierachel I saw the musical based on Fun Home earlier this year. Highly recommend seeing it if you get the chance! It was awesome. 7y
mrozzz @ReadOrDieRachel really?? Where is it? (edited) 7y
readordierachel @mrozzz It's on tour throughout the US right now. I saw it in San Francisco, but I think it's moved over toward the East Coast now? 7y
mrozzz @ReadOrDieRachel woooo I'll look it up 😄 7y
74 likes2 stack adds4 comments
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Leftcoastzen
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Pickpick

I loved it ! Other Littens have reviewed and it is heavy into psychological material, yet some parts are darkly funny.Alison is a complicated person with complicated parents .What I love about modern graphic novels is that they may be almost any topic these days,fantasy, autobiography, history... the list is endless . We are lucky to have the brave Ms.Bechdel.Interesting things about Adrienne Rich and Virginia Woolf as Alison searches for meaning.

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Leftcoastzen
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#graphic #sizzlinsummerreads So weird that after loving "Fun Home "never read "Are you my Mother?"Just realized I had not looked in graphic novel section of my library for a long time,was excited to find the Cass Eliot too!

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whatthelog
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Mehso-so

Alison Bechdel's slightly lesser known memoir, Are You My Mother? I thought it was less interesting than Fun Home, unfortunately. And it contained a lot of psychoanalysis, which just isn't my thing.

#womenwriters #lgbtqia #graphicnovel #diversebooks

Bibliogeekery I also wanted to like this one more than I did and I'm a psychotherapist, so you'd think I'd dig all the psychoanalysis! #queerbooks 8y
whatthelog @Bibliogeekery huh, interesting! Why didn't you? 8y
ReadingEnvy It's pretty heady! I definitely ended it wanting to read 8y
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Lindy I love this so much I've read it 3 times. Something new in it each time. 8y
Bibliogeekery @whatthelog I think it was a little too heavy on the psychoanalysis for me - which is not to say that I disliked it, I just wanted to like it more. 8y
Bibliogeekery @ReadingEnvy Drama of the Gifted Child is so good! 8y
22 likes1 stack add6 comments
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alternatina
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Mehso-so

So torn on this book. Had great ideas, but I feel like it was too big? The final panel was amazing but it took too long to get there. I think my expectations were too high because Fun Home is one of my favorites of all time.

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LitDrivenGirl
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We are headed to see Beauty and the Beast. @biblio_ginger is far braver than I to be reading in the back seat. I always get car sick 😫😣. I think she's reading 'Are you my Mother?'. #carrides #booksgowithusalways #readersread #sisters

biblio_ginger I am! :D Not braver but reading Are You My Mother ;) 8y
7 likes1 comment
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TNbooklover66
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#bookhaul with a #mojiemoje photobomb. Thought you weren't buying anymore books this month Mom! 😂📚🐶 Also I need some work on my sticker placement 🙄

TrishTheBibliophile I've had The Graveyard Book forever! I need to read it. 8y
EricQiao ❤️ the Graveyard Book! 8y
24 likes2 comments
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angrylilasian
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Mehso-so

Bechdel analyses & dissects her relationship with her mother by going through journal entries, recounting therapy sessions & researching theories on mother/daughter relationships. She's nothing if not honest and thorough. But I found it tedious at times. Halfway through I found myself skipping over any mention of Freud or Winnicott. Revelations like the above kept me going but I don't know if I would recommend this book the way I did Fun Home.

CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian Yeah, I felt similarly after loving Fun Home. Too much psychology mumbo jumbo in Are You My Mother?. 8y
NCNY It was way too meta for me. Basically a book about writing a book became the final book. 8y
LiteraryinPA Good to know. I liked Fun Home and wasn't sure whether to read this one. 8y
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emtobiasz I found it worth reading because Fun Home really made me curious about her mother. Fun Home is still better. 8y
angrylilasian @CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian @NCNY But if you skip over those parts, her relationship with her mother and how she works through the issues are really interesting. It made me reexamine my relationship with my mother. 😆 8y
angrylilasian @LiteraryinLititz If you like psychology, you might like it. The people who loved the book found it fascinating. But it seems most people felt like I did. 8y
angrylilasian @emtobiasz Fun Home is better. I think Alison is a great writer. I'll read anything she publishes. 😄 8y
38 likes7 comments
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kimberly.burke
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A large dose of psychoanalysis with Alison Bechdel on this lazy Christmas Eve morning.

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melissa.in.books
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I'm staying at a friend's place in Toronto and it's cold outside, but I'm keeping warm inside with these books. These are just some of her books. #lucky

acorter Looks so cozy! 8y
RadicalReader @melissa.in.books I would be in absolute heaven if someone had a collection and this was only some of the colossal collection 8y
6 likes2 comments
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virtual_allison
Pickpick

More 'academic' than Fun Home (lots of musings on the nature of the self, psychology etc. ) but still really wonderful.

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Betty
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Panpan

Had to skim fast to get through this; too much talk about her psychotherapists, a pediatrician-psychologist Winnicott, and many quotes from Virginia Woolf. Yawn.

WanderingBookaneer After loving Fun Home, I was disappointed in this one. 8y
ReadingEnvy I read this one first so Fun Home was a breeze. 😋 8y
15 likes2 comments
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Giabow
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A little surprised to see this panel. I used to work there! #boalbarn

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MaryK_171
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I went to the library to return "Fun Home" and decided to pick up Alison Bechdel's other graphic novel. Looking forward to reading this!

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Lupita.Reads
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Pickpick

Bechdel leaves no stone unturned or more like no thought unthought-of? in this part memoir, part diary, part internal examination of her relationship with her Mother. I found myself having to rate this five stars simply for the bravery to look so inwardly and most importantly to share this journey with her readers. Definitely one to remind me that reading makes you feel less lonely and at times understood ❤️📚

whatthelog Definitely need to give this a reread now that I've done some feminist/psychological theory - how she expresses such deep concepts through such relatively simple comics is just beyond me! 8y
read_diverse_books Part memoir, part diary? How interesting! I'm glad you loved this one. It sounds important and affecting. 8y
Lupita.Reads @whatthelog completely agree! Really just stunning. 8y
Lupita.Reads @read_diverse_books it's so personal is feels like your reading someone's diary and YES really did love it. 8y
112 likes28 stack adds4 comments