#AdventRecommends December 5th
A book about women‘s rage and why we are justified in our anger, and how keeping it in is effecting women‘s health.
#AdventRecommends December 5th
A book about women‘s rage and why we are justified in our anger, and how keeping it in is effecting women‘s health.
I started this earlier in the year w #shesaid & then I got busy & it took me ages to come back to the last chapter. So glad I read this. I think books like this have the power to be incredibly transformative. I couldn‘t help comparing this to Good and Mad as I was reading. This one‘s strength lies in its deep embracing of the issues surrounding intersectionality, and the constant pull to tie the research back to the personal with life anecdotes⬇️
An important book, filled with thoughtful and rage inducing perspectives and facts about gender, power, and equality. Highly recommend this book to you, your friends, your daughters and sons. #audiobook was great! #bookspinBingo @TheAromaofBooks
I started reading this for #shesaid but life got busy & I didn‘t keep up with the conversations. But I finally finished & loves this book. It brought up lots of interesting points. Every day in the US it feels like women have a reason to be angry, looking at you the Supreme Court. This book was the perfect book for me to finish right now as I am about to go back into the working world. I feel things have changed a lot over the last 11 years since
I forgot to do a review of our last #SheSaid book. I had this on TBR forever and am glad I finally read it. A lot of what the book covers has also been in some of our other #SheSaid selections. What I liked most about this one is how she blended her personal experiences and those of her family along with solid research. Her grandmother‘s story in particular will be something I think about for a while.
This is a must read. It doesn't go into a lot of depth but covers a lot of ground in a really readable manner. And the author does a great job of using herself and her family as examples.
#SheSaid @Riveted_Reader_Melissa
#BookSpinBingo @TheAromaofBooks
This was a reread for me with #SheSaid and I got even more from it the second time around. Thank you so much for giving me a great group to discuss these subjects with!
My original review still holds true!
Original Review: Maybe you read The Beauty Myth or Down Girl and thought I need more, or What Happened or Catch and Kill or She Said and were furious, but didn‘t know what to do with that. Read this book, it‘s got facts and studies, ⤵️
Hello #SheSaid!
There was a lot in this book, but I have to say the conclusion felt like a nice wrap-up for me. Just be more aware of why you might be anger or self-silencing and think about why that is much much more
How did you all feel about the book overall? The last chapter? The conclusion?
my personal experience reflects the social science finding that people who allow themselves to feel the fullest range of emotions, including the unpleasant ones, are happier and lead more fulfilling lives, regardless of cultural context.
#SheSaid
It is a particularly delicious irony that conservatives who bemoan declining heterosexual marriage can best prop up the institution not by doubling down on traditional binary gender roles but by embracing their fluidity.
Hello #SheSaid!
Are you infuriated yet? I was mad, but now I‘m even more mad that I‘m not allowed to be mad either 😂. What a twisted system it is, especially once you start to look closely and dismantle it a bit. How did this weeks section hit you?
Are you reserving your next book at the library already? I‘ll try to get a schedule out soon so everyone can start planning. 😉
Friedman quoted Princeton University lecturer Erin K. Vearncombe, an expert on the cultural meaning of appearance, who explained, “absent hair on a woman‘s head can be read as disruptive to the politics of the male gaze.”
If you can‘t focus on a woman‘s hair, it is definitely more difficult to ignore what comes out of her mouth.
#SheSaid
I finished the #SheSaid selection ahead of traveling next week. What an amazing and infuriating book. I recommended it to my mom early on and she just got her copy recently. So much resonated with me. I imagine I‘ll revisit this one at some future time. Thanks @Riveted_Reader_Melissa for an excellent choice. First finish of #20in4
People who deny sexism will always be more hostile to your anger than to what is actually causing your anger.
#SheSaid
Epistemic injustice consists of testimonial injustice, the speaker not being taken seriously, and hermeneutical injustice, having one‘s social experience denied or hidden.
Hello #SheSaid!
I hope those of you in the winter season are starting to see signs of spring. In the past week, I‘ve had crocuses appear, be blanketed under inches of snow, have it melt and now both crocuses & daffodils blooming. The renewal felt really good to me this week.
Now if only we can use all this anger, long suppressed under the blanket of gaslighting and societal silencing, and break free and renew some of our institutions.
Finished this #SheSaid selection up a little early. So much of this made me feel seen, especially the parts about the physical and psychological effects of suppressed anger. Ironic, though, that a book about anger can feed my anger 🤷♀️. @Riveted_Reader_Melissa
In other news, the sunshine gave me an early spring day of patio reading 🌞
#shesaid My problem: I borrowed the Kindle version for 21 days. I saved notes, but gr doesn't tell me what page or chapter this is from. Based on comments in this week's thread, I think this is from this week's chapter. It takes practice, but I tend to shut down men that talk over me and argue circles around mansplainers. It may be why I'm a perpetually single cis-g female. I refuse to share my genius with anyone who can't appreciate it 😂😉
Hello #SheSaid!
Are we all feeling the Drip, Drip, Drip of microaggressions or just overwhelming expectations as the care givers of society? What stood out to you in this chapter?
A 2015 study conducted by the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs compared pricing for nearly eight hundred products. The review found that girl‘s clothing cost, on average, 4 percent more than boy‘, while women‘s clothing cost 8 percent more than men‘s. Girl‘s toys cost 7 percent more than boys‘ do - even for identical products. One of the biggest gaps was in personal hygiene and care products, which cost women 13 percent more.
#SheSaid
Another great/infuriating chapter #SheSaid
This book always makes me think, and forces me to think about things I‘d usually push aside, push down, downplay and realize just how universal and telling they really are.
And then I post here, and we all usually have our own stories to share…. the just how universal and normalized it is in our society is staggering sometimes.
It is estimated that 68 percent of women in situations of intimate violence are almost strangled to death by their partners at least once. Seven in ten of these women believe they will be killed, either in the moment or eventually. A woman killed by a man she knows has, on average, been strangled seven times prior to her murder. Yet only thirty-eight US states have laws that recognize suffocation and strangulation as attempts to kill a person.
Doctors have long puzzled over why, if some women don‘t go to war, they exhibit higher levels of post-traumatic stress than men. Unwanted sexual advances, objectification, and persistent harassment are partially to blame. But so too is a cultivated awareness of threat and elevated anger.
#SheSaid
Sometimes there is a dawning realization, and it is painful. One father I know whose daughters were on the cusp of leaving for college said to me one day, “ If you think about rape, it will drive you crazy.” I don‘t know if he was more upset before or after I told him that they were already past a red zone - that 44 percent of rapes occur before victims are eighteen.
#SheSaid
Hello #SheSaid. I hope everyone is having a great weekend.
A lot to unpack in this chapter, and again not a surprise reading it, sadly many of these statistics are better known now, but put together this way it definitely makes you think about it more as a larger social construct than random things that are happening independently of each other. What did you think of this chapter? Any parts that stood out to you or that you want to discuss?
Well #SheSaid this ch. felt very timely to me…. Both personally & politically.
First, I couldn‘t help thinking about the 2 infrastructure bills in the US, one for roads & bridges (easily passed) and one for human infrastructure (ie. women‘s work) that was fought tooth and nail and died….because why put tax money into something you can get women to do for free (child care, elder care, etc 🙄).
⤵️
Women‘s unpaid and undervalued care work stands as the single greatest wealth transfer in today‘s global economy. Without this provision of care, markets would crash, economies would grind to a halt, and men could not continue to dominate entire job sectors and institutional hierarchies. Without it, “the masculinization of wealth,” as writer and activist Gloria Steinem called it long ago, would be impossible.
On my list of reasons to love Litsy ⬆️ I appreciate so much groups like #shesaid and the fact that so many here are women.
Interesting chapter #SheSaid about both how anger turned inwards can becomes pain and how pain is perceived and glossed over as unimportant especially in women. What are your thoughts on this one? Below are 2 quotes that stuck with me, but I highlighted many:
“By the time a woman reaches midlife, the most significant predictors of her general health are her levels of stress and where she ranks in terms of keeping her “anger in.””
#audiobaking this morning. Decorating valentine cookies with ❤️💚💙💜💛 while listening to a book about women‘s rage is making me grin. We can fight the patriarchy while loving up our people at the same time. #shesaid
A twelve-year longitudinal study, which assesses change over time, found a 70 percent increase in cancer-related deaths in people with highest scores for suppressing their negative emotions. A follow-up to a landmark 1989 study on this topic found that the survival rate for women with breast cancer who expressed their anger was twice that of women who kept their anger to themselves.
#SheSaid
Another week, another thought-provoking chapter! I am liking the layout of this book, a personal story to illustrate the point, but then backed up with studies and research. How‘s everyone else making out with this selection so far?
#SheSaid
The belief that women should be babyish and childlike means that women physically infantilize themselves. The physical and emotional softness, smoothness, and suppleness that women pursue isn‘t only a matter of attractiveness. Looking perennially young means not looking as though we have successfully weathered life in such a way that we might have authority or have developed expertise, wisdom, and skills that are of value to us or the people
I may be highlighting half the book and I've run ahead, because it's hard to put down, until you get so angry you have to put it down. #shesaid
Maybe when we get angry, we need to say, I want change. We need to think what do we want to change? I think this is why anger is a symptom of grief, some change we can't control.
Hello #SheSaid.
Anyone else loving this book and saying yes YES a few times? I am.
Already thinking you should give this book as gift to a few people… me too 😉.
Maybe every woman…?
I particularly liked how she linked the “good girl” syndrome to oppressing an entire group‘s feeling and responses for societal power. And that kindergarten story 😠
What struck you this week?
On the day I was writing this, for example, I wondered what a girl would see if she searched for “women athletes.” The number one result was “The Top 50 Hottest Athletes of 2017.” In 2015 a search for “women CEOs” turned up, as the first image, not an actual woman but a picture of a Barbie doll. That‘s right. A Barbie doll whose name, by the way, is CEO Barbie.
(Picture found online)
We learn to contain our selves: our voices, hair, clothes, and most importantly speech. Anger is usually about saying “no” in a world where women are conditioned to say almost anything but “no”. Even our technology incorporates these ideas, in deferential female-voiced virtual assistants (Siri, Alexa, and Cortana come to mind) for whom the responses “yes” and “what can I do for you?” are prime directives and raisons d‘être.
#BookspinBingo #Doublespin
@TheAromaofBooks 💕💗💕
Here is my list for February, mostly brought over from January. I didn't get to my January #doublespin so I left it on here for February. I will be prioritizing To Paradise as pary of my Literati book club. It's not on the list because we won't finish until April, but I will also be reading the tagged book as part of the #Shesaid book club.
Starting this one this evening. #SheSaid
Because I wasn‘t already reading enough books. 🤦🏻♀️
Up next for #SheSaid Rage Becomes Her!
Here is the schedule, see you all soon!
I just wanted to send all of #SheSaid an update, since I couldn‘t possibly stretch our current book over Jan & Feb, I will be starting our next book in Feb. “Rage Becomes Her”. It‘s a bigger book, but I‘m still planning on spacing it out a bit & hopefully still leave room for those of you also reading with The 1619 Project group read. I‘ll put out a more detailed schedule soon, but I wanted give you a heads up to update your library holds. 😉
I consider this such a neccessary, powerful feminist read!!! It's so well-researched, well-written and engaging. She voiced so many feeling and thoughts I've had and brought new perspectives to light. Chemaly does an excellent job realizing and writing about the intersectionality of issues and actively works on not letting her privilege blind her. She vividly paints the reality of being a woman, but also presents a sense of hope and solutions.
Another #12BooksOf2020 (you get 2 today since I forgot yesterday). Little did I realize back in February what a mixed up crazy year 2020 would become, or how grateful I‘d be to have read this book before it all went surreal. Staying sane in an insane world means being in touch with your feelings, even the socially unacceptable ones, and this book explains why so many women are cut off from some of theirs and how to own them and use them again.
🌺 4 books read this past week
🌺 3 written by women
🌺 1 BIPOC author
🌺 1 audiobook
🌺 2 library books
#bookreport #weeklyreading