Welcome to Litsy!

It‘s amazing the power of hearing that you‘re not alone in your sense of drowning. Life is still a struggle, but Davis‘ words have given me hope, courage, and even skills to help work my way through it. The practical advice provided is actual advice that can help with setting priorities, getting through life tasks that can be or seem overwhelming, and realizing/accepting that you are not a failure for not maintaining an Insta worthy environment.

A late update to my #ReadingBracket2024
I only finished one nonfiction book in September. It was a quick yet encouraging listen

Listened to the audiobook. LOVED this - so many helpful tips and the accessibility of highlighting main points was great. Care tasks = morally neutral.

Starting my September #doublespin.
This has been on my #tbr for well over a year.
I own a paperback copy and have borrowed the #audiobook from the library THREE times. It is time to finally read it.

It was recommended to me by 2 people in the mental health field and my GP..

Finished cleaning out the fridge and it truly shines ♥️ grateful to have food and a place to keep it

This is a book I think I'm going to need to need to revisit with some frequency to really let it sink in. Davis is a therapist who struggled with guilt over the state of her home after giving birth, suffering from post-partum depression, & living in lockdown. She gives a lot of great practical advice for neurodivergent readers, too, including talking about how to manage tasks when you have executive dysfunction & task avoidance.

My sister recommended How to Keep House While Drowning to me recently when we were talking about cleaning and dealing with perpetual disarray. It's been a great audiobook to listen to while I work on "resetting my space," as Davis would say. I do have to keep pausing it to jot down thoughts and notes though ? So far, I would say I highly recommend it to anyone who struggles with care tasks and keeping a tidy space.

It‘s a pick for the right reader. There‘s a valuable message about inherent worthiness and the moral neutrality of a tidy home (no “cleanliness is next to godliness” here). Plus, some practical tips for how to start, or even just tackle the most crucial things, when overwhelmed. But it wasn‘t exactly what I needed, at least not beyond the reminder of how much work I need to do in shedding my perfectionism and separating my motivation from shame.

This book is perfect.

If you can‘t tell I‘m a little preoccupied with how messy my house is 🙃

I get amazed when I see all these people all of the things they clean daily or weekly on FB. I‘m horrible at cleaning, luckily I have a husband that cleans the bathrooms & we have a pretty even split of tasks. This is not really a how to clean book but more of a reminder to go easy on yourself. I think in a world of where we see all these images of perfection on social media it‘s hard to not feel overwhelmed. I also like how the author highlights

Definitely a self-care and compassionate book.

It was a really hard choice between How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis and A Power Unbound by Freya Marske, but at the end of the year, I think How to Keep House While Drowning is the standout book for me in 2023.

Thanks for making this fun 2023 graphic @chasjjlee!

1. How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis
2. Tie between Love Quest by Camilla Isley and Meet Me Under the Mistletoe by Jenny Bayliss
3. Just my usual evening plan to read and relax after my toddler goes to sleep.
4. No, it's not really a thing here.
5. Brown, but that's to be expected here. I think I've only ever experienced one or two white Christmases.

#WinterGames #USS @dabbe

I enjoyed this much more than a similar book I listened to recently called "Unfuck your habit". This one was gentler, more inclusive of different situations, and had better tips and advice that changed my mind about the way I view myself and and my cleaning ?
"Do a little. Do it badly. Do it incompletely. Do it kinda/sorta. Do it for 5 minutes. An excellent life is made up of a lot of littles. Who has the time for perfection anyways?" -KC Davis

I am not a self help book kind of a person but gosh I really loved and needed this. The author is a therapist and I found her insights really helpful. The idea of care tasks as morally neutral and the need for the equal rest time in a partnership will stay the most - the actual cleaning stuff I was less into! I am also claiming to my nonfiction prompt for imagine as if implemented this is life changing to me

It‘s taken me a little over a year to finish this short book, but I enjoyed digesting little bits of it at a time. Post partum hit me hard and I still struggle with daily tasks, but this book stresses being gentle with yourself and seeing “chores” as “care tasks.” I highly recommend. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A client told me about this book months ago, & I‘ve seen several therapists suggest it for clients on our Teams chat. Since I have a hard time with household tasks & have recommended it to clients, I wanted to read it. Audiobook is only 3 hrs. Davis writes in quick chapters & readers can skip some. Some of it I found useful for me, a lot will be useful to clients, I think. I like her ideas about cleaning & the different mindset about “care tasks”.

It‘s been a minute and I still have letters to get out. I have missed this app and my reading. I have been way to busy. Now I am about to have a high school graduate. I am not ready for that either. I have missed you all. I am finally slowing down and trying to smell the roses, or at least if my allergies will let me.
#treadingwater #findmyway #keepswimming

#goodnotgreat The author‘s philosophy - that care tasks have no moral value attached to them, and that our space exists to serve us not the other way around - is super useful to hear. Her background is as a therapist, so she makes connections between the messages we got growing up re chores, and our self talk as adults that were really insightful. BUT the actual systems she proposes are no more useful than any other self help book imho…

I‘m on the fringe of Davis‘s readership because I don‘t have the means to hire out help. I do have “chore trauma”. As a result, I only clean in an empty or sleeping house. I do it silently, & I don‘t ask for help. I don‘t have friends over b/c I can‘t meet my own standards. It is a relief to be told my trauma isn‘t my children‘s trauma. Coincidentally, I share some of her cleaning techniques. Also, I do follow Davis on the 🕰️ app.

While there are general tips in here , the biggest theme is how much shame & anxiety we conjure because we think our home isn‘t clean enough.Let yourself off the hook.Your standards may not be your mothers or friends, your space is there to serve you not for you to serve the space.I love that Davis suggests that rest and self care should be put ahead of all the chores when needed. Also , be happy that a little progress is better than none.

Another gem from this chapter, in Helenese, is “It‘s not dumb if it works.”

If you feel like you are drowning, struggling to manage even the basics of caring of yourself, your family, and home - especially if this is resulting in feelings of shame and self-loathing - please pick up this book. The methods in this book meet you wherever you are at and focus on having a space that is functional you & your family. I found the book helped me reframe my thinking and personalize my approach to tackling “care tasks” for success

I loved Dreams Bigger Than Heartbreak by Charlie Jane Anders and Dawn by Octavia Butler, but How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis was a clear winner for February

@chasjjlee

5/5

This is such a lovely book. It's truly a compassionate discussion of how to make your home functional for yourself, not to anyone else's standards of what is or isn't clean enough. It's a beautiful book that meets you where you are, and it inspired me to tackle a room that's become a bit of a mess since my son was born.

I‘m horrible at keeping house. Like, it makes my stomach ache when I think about it. I really love Domesticblisters on TikTok, so I acquired this, her book. I shouldn‘t be crying over this, right?

A reminder to us all from the book that is changing my life!

Such a good book. Easy read and incredibly helpful

I really liked this one, I feel like I could relate to a lot of things in this book and was able to take some ideas from the book to try and apply to my own routine to see if it‘ll work for me.

You do not exist to serve your space, your space exists to serve you.

Mis-titled and altogether horrifying. I hated it and would never recommend it to anyone else. (Full review on Goodreads.)

My Starry Night Lego is finished & I‘ve learned the next art set is available for pre-order tomorrow 🎉I will be up bright and early to try and grab one. This was a great book, I could have used it a few years ago after my mom passed away and the cumulative effect of grief from my dad passing, caring for her and life hit me with a wallop ( + the pandemic). But I guess I did a lot of the things she talks about and I feel on the other side most days

Enjoyed this book, because who isn‘t drowning? The book encourages you to separate care task from moral obligations.

Marie Kondo says to clear clutter & improve our life by keeping only things that spark joy. But what if you are amongst those who find it hard to experience joy? This is for the clinically, chronically or temporarily depressed. Davis‘ motto is “good enough leads to a good life”. Do as much laundry as is needed. Those not dirty but not quite clean clothes you threw over the chair back? Leave them there or re- hang them in the closet! EZPZ.

I highly recommend this to anyone struggling to keep up with all the never ending "care tasks" (Davis' preferred term for chores) in life, especially neurodivergent folks and those living with mental and/or physical health challenges. This book is helpful for reframing a lot of our thinking around care tasks and bringing in more self-compassion, and it also contains concrete tips for how to explore what strategies work best for each reader's life.

Newly diagnosed with ADHD, seeking book recs that help folks understand and cope with a neurodivergent diagnosis, as well as determine how best we can manage the symptoms and challenges and unlock our unique gifts and passions so we can thrive. Books specific to women diagnosed with ADHD as adults are great, but more general ADHD or neurodivergence content is great too. Thanks in advance! ✨️

Only 6 people are waiting for this… that actually surprises me. I‘m only a little ways in but appreciate her stance: “No one ever shamed themselves into better mental health.” Very true.

Today's #bookhaul along with pre-orders for "Our Missing Hearts" - by Celeste Ng and "The World We Make" - by N.K. Jemisin (sequel to "The City We Became")

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?? La compra de libros de hoy junto con dos pedidos anticipados: 《Nuestros Corazones Perdidos》- escrito por Celeste Ng y 《El Mundo que Hacemos》- escrito por N. K. Jemisin (continuación de 《La Ciudad que nos Unió》)

⭐️⭐️⭐️ This one ran hot and cold for me. I appreciated the overall message of it being okay to meet yourself where you are and manage expectations while struggling. But some of her approaches stressed me out, like just leaving clean, unfolded laundry in a pile on the laundry room floor until someone wants to wear it. Some of her ideas suggest resources a lot of people don‘t have, and I wondered what her husband was doing while she was drowning.

I borrowed this from a friend so I could understand better her frustrations and challenges with cleaning. I thought it was an outstanding book with really good ideas for how to reframe cleaning as care tasks and making your home work for you. Now I need to go buy my own copy!

Cleanliness is not morality. And your inherent value is not dependent on the state of your home.

Look, I‘m not saying this book may have poked a very big stick into some deeply ingrained beliefs I need to address. All I‘m saying is, I want to immediately buy a physical copy of this and mark it up to within an inch of its life. 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗

Taking some time for myself to listen to this book and do my nails!