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Soldier Sailor
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
31 posts | 20 read | 13 to read
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review
Amor4Libros
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Bailedbailed

I can see the value in this book, but at 25% I was still not connecting and decided to give up.

39 likes1 comment
review
TheKidUpstairs
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

This was my third try with this book. I tried e-book, but found the sort of stream of consciousness style didn't work with the format, so I switched to a physical book. But the timing of it didn't work and I couldn't focus. So I went audio, and it was worth all the perseverance!

I felt so much for Soldier. Her rage and loneliness, helplessness, doubt, and her love for Sailor are so raw and visceral and so very real.

cont'd

TheKidUpstairs The familiarity of some of these moments stopped me in my tracks. It made me cry and rage, but with just enough wit to lighten the tension.

Highly recommend! But maybe wait a while if you are pregnant/postpartum or still in infant/toddler years, I don't know if I could have gotten through it if I didn't have the space of a couple years from that time!
(edited) 2mo
BarbaraBB Great review again! 2mo
48 likes2 comments
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TheKidUpstairs
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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"Husband," I bayed at the bay window. You thought wolves were extinct in this land? I thought so, too. The sea is not glittering, and the mothers are not serene, and the wolves were never more alive than they are tonight. They are volatile, they are vengeful, and you have summoned them to your door.

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TheKidUpstairs
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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"This was freelance motherhood. Struggling to contain your screams, while struggling to contain my own. Which were louder, and angrier, and scared us both."

Jesus, this one is raw. Don't read it if you are in the midst of post-partum haze. I think it would have destroyed me at the time.

BarbaraBB But good, right? 2mo
TheKidUpstairs @BarbaraBB so good. Much of it is so frighteningly familiar. 2mo
45 likes2 comments
review
quietlycuriouskate
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

Oof, this book is brutal! Its portrayal of a woman wrecked by motherhood (or rather by sleep deprivation, post-natal depression, and the lack of a support network) was relentless but, honestly, it didn't strike me as over-played. I'm relieved it wasn't longer, though!

The timing of my reading this is... notable: my one-and-only has her birthday next week.

Caroline2 I just finished this on audio. I agree. It‘s very accurate for my experience too. Crickey can this lady write eh!!! 👍 7d
31 likes1 comment
review
Julsmarshall
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

Oof! This book is raw, painful, evocative, and relatable. If you have been a sleep deprived mom without the necessary help and backup require to survive, never mind thrive, you will likely relate to this book. I wish every set of new parents would read this and, honestly, experienced parents too. Check the content warnings, this may upsetting to some. #BookspinBingo @TheAromaofBooks

TheAromaofBooks Great progress!! 4mo
42 likes1 comment
review
rmaclean4
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

Brutal honest portrait of early motherhood. At times, it was uncomfortable to read. Beautifully written. 4 🌟

blurb
shawnmooney
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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https://youtu.be/V0WlPIUyvVE?feature=shared

#janeaustenjuly

Introduction

Patreon news

Mystery guest

Week in Review

Soldier Sailor by Claire Kilroy

Blessings by Chukwuebuka Ibeh

CrowCAH So glad you‘re participating in Jane Austen July! #PemberLittens I‘m watching the YouTube videos of Rational Creatures inspired by Persuasion. And I‘ll be reading this book 4mo
23 likes1 comment
review
Tamra
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Mehso-so

This was a Goodreads giveaway and I‘m glad I didn‘t buy it because it‘s just okay. On the one hand Kilroy does some necessary truth telling about mothering, but on the other it‘s OVER THE TOP ALL THE TIME. (Just like those capital letters.) Constant overwrought isn‘t my favorite jam flavor.

Cathythoughts Very interesting review 🤔 I‘ve been avoiding it despite all the great reviews… 5mo
Tamra @Cathythoughts this is a borrow not buy IMHO. I recognize it captures the early days of postpartum depression and/or sleep deprivation, but personally I think it would have worked better as a short story or novella. I know I got lucky with very easy infants & toddlers. Kilroy should write a novel about parenting teens - now that‘s drama worthy. 😜🤣 (edited) 5mo
youneverarrived I love books about motherhood but I do find they often focus on the negatives in an overly strong way (I get its good to portray the fact motherhood isn‘t always easy but 🤷‍♀️). I‘ve just checked this out from the library so shall be reading it soon! 5mo
Tamra @youneverarrived good point, it does seem like that‘s been the focus. Motherhood isn‘t supported the way it should be, but that point felt belabored in this instance and in other places it was drippy sentimental. I‘m interested to see what you think. 5mo
49 likes4 comments
quote
Tamra
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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“To him I was yet another clumsy housewife who couldn‘t keep up with him. I know because I used to think that way too. I used to be a dick. There‘s a spectrum. I was on it.” 😆

MC‘s reflection on being in the grocery checkout with a baby having a tantrum.

Photo is completely unrelated. A MN nature photographer had the amazing fortune of capturing a photo of a rare leucistic loon. He‘s not revealing the location. 🫶🏽

Aimeesue What a lovely bird! 5mo
47 likes1 comment
blurb
Tamra
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Oooooof I read the first 16 pages waiting at the salon and there are loads of heavy feelings in this one. I can tell it is going to be a raw examination of the self, motherhood & marriage.

Cathythoughts Sounds good ♥️ I have it stacked already. 5mo
53 likes1 comment
review
Hooked_on_books
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

This hugely anxiety-producing book sees a woman unraveling as she navigates motherhood of a toddler with not only zero help from her husband but him making things even harder for her. It‘s very well done and reaffirmed my desire to never have children. (If you‘re thinking of having kids and want to be talked out of it, this will be a big help!)

MicheleinPhilly 🎯 Spot on! 6mo
squirrelbrain Perfect 👌! 6mo
charl08 Wow, what a striking cover. Puts the UK one to shame. 5mo
53 likes3 comments
review
ChaoticMissAdventures
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Mehso-so

This was not a book for me. I in general do not love books on motherhood (not being a mom myself). But I know some women who have had similar painful first years with their children and useless husbands. As always I want to know where her community is? She has no friends or family to help? This is such a terrible reality for so many women, it was painful to read here.
#womensprizeforfiction #shoetlist
👇

ChaoticMissAdventures I can see why some like this book. The writing is solid, the story for so many is relatable. But I honestly skimmed most of the book. I had zero interest in her long winded ramblings. And found the book to just be exhausting which might be the point since our narrator is also exhausted? I enjoyed the other struggling new mother story much more than this one - it was richer in symbolism I had more of a story to grasp into. 6mo
BarbaraBB Great review. I‘ve been surprised about how few people feel this way. I personally loved it but if you don‘t have kids I can‘t imagine NOT skimming it! 6mo
ChaoticMissAdventures @BarbaraBB I started skimming pretty much from the jump. I wouldn't have read it at all if it hadn't made the WP shortlist. I am genuinely surprised how few people had negative reactions to the book. I do think the last half of the book was more interesting than the first half. And it did have me make a date with a girlfriend who went through almost this exact new mom life. So I guess that is good. 6mo
See All 6 Comments
BarbaraBB That‘s really good indeed. I pity your friend. I hope her husband is not as worthless as the one in the book! 6mo
ChaoticMissAdventures @BarbaraBB unfortunately he is. I think the extreme people see in this book is because they didn't have as useless of a partner or had other help. My friends husband, 10 years later and she is still married to him, luckily she convinced him to move closer to her support system so this last year when she was going through cancer I was able to get their kiddo to school each morning, and our other friend took care of after school and dinner. 6mo
BarbaraBB I am so sorry to hear that. He left her to take care of everything even when she was going through cancer? That is the worst. She must have felt so glad for having people like you around. 6mo
43 likes6 comments
blurb
ChaoticMissAdventures
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Setting up my exercise bike to ride towards my TBR corner.
Motivation or Foreboding?

Tamra 😅 Motivating! 6mo
Ruthiella Definitely motivating! 💪 6mo
Hooked_on_books That‘s a fun idea! 6mo
38 likes3 comments
review
BookishTrish
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

An exaggerated portrait of the dark side of new motherhood. It had an archetypal feel to it that didn‘t always resonate with me - a soft pick.

review
MicheleinPhilly
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

Holy. Moly. Exhausting, maddening, visceral, raw. Absolutely astonishing.

BarbaraBB Totally agree 💯 7mo
MicheleinPhilly @BarbaraBB I‘m so glad I don‘t have kids. Jesus. 7mo
squirrelbrain That‘s exactly what I thought after reading this. 😬 7mo
See All 6 Comments
BarbaraBB @MicheleinPhilly @squirrelbrain It‘s quite exhausting indeed but extra so because of that shit husband! 7mo
MicheleinPhilly @BarbaraBB @squirrelbrain The number of times I said “You prick” out loud while reading… 7mo
BarbaraBB 🤣 7mo
53 likes1 stack add6 comments
quote
charl08
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Oh Sailor, I thought, the little size of you. This is what it feels like when everything goes wrong, and by your own hand. When you are caught, cornered, the one to blame, when you discover something in your nature that you did not know was there and which you do not like. Confusion, shame, resentment, regret: it's my area. Don't panic. Sit tight. I can help you with this.

32 likes1 stack add
quote
charl08
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy

'Hello,' I replied but didn't know what to add nor how to pitch it because she was three and I hadn't gotten to that page in childrearing yet. 'We're not supposed to praise little girls for their looks any more,' I told my friend, 'but for their brains, and my God but your daughter is clever. Such clever hair, such clever eyes.' She really was a beauty, that child.

'Gets it from her mother, obviously.'

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charl08
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy

I ducked around a corner. Look, Mama's going round the bend! I wanted to tell you, but oh, oh. What struck me as the starkest contradiction of all was that, having navigated this much of life the volatility of youth, of love and loss, the agony and the ecstasy - the closest I had come to losing my mind was during the period known as settling down.

Suet624 💕💕💕 7mo
26 likes1 comment
quote
charl08
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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I had listened to him on the other side of that door snoring away in the box room, those snug, contented snores I used to find endearing, the two of us tucked up together in the same bed on a cold night, except we were no longer in the same room. And soon we would no longer be under the same roof, nor even under the same stars. I could not get my head around it: how could my husband sleep under the circumstances?

review
AnneCecilie
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

A woman is taking care of her baby. In her eyes, her husband is never home, but always in the office. So she is left with “just” taking care of the baby and house 24/7. A grim portrait of the early days of motherhood.

AnneCecilie I‘m not a mother, so is the mother‘s feelings normal in the beginning or is she suffering from some kind of postpartum depression? 7mo
TrishB I‘ve got this on the pile so can‘t comment as yet. 7mo
BarbaraBB I do recognize some of her feelings without being depressed at the time. It‘s just that your life‘s turned upside down and you have no control over your life whatsoever, which takes some getting used to. Also you feel bad about your feelings and not being on cloud nine all the time as seems to be expected of you 7mo
See All 6 Comments
Leniverse I would say she has postpartum depression, yes. But that level of sleep deprivation alone can make people crazy. The first child is an intense adjustment, and her husband is beyond useless. I think every mother will recognise some of what she's thinking, but she's an extreme case. 7mo
AnneCecilie @BarbaraBB @Leniverse I‘ve understood that it‘s not easy being a mum at any stage since society has higher standards towards women than men. It‘s good to know that these extreme feelings aren‘t normal for everyone, and yes her husband is beyond useless. (edited) 7mo
BarbaraBB Way beyond 🤦🏻‍♀️ 7mo
56 likes6 comments
quote
AnneCecilie
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy

‘I get just two days off, you know?‘ my husband was complaining. ‘I get just two days off a week and I have to waste one of them in IKEA?‘
‘Two whole days? I haven‘t had a day off since he was born. Unless we count the time I was hospitalised with pneumonia. And then you got your mother in.‘

quote
AnneCecilie
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy

‘Our marriage. Where is it going?‘
‘What do you mean? I just got a promotion.‘
‘How could you not get a promotion?‘
‘You mean congratulations?‘
‘No, I mean, how could you not get a promotion when you‘re always in the office? You‘ve a wife who does all the cooking, cleaning and child-rearing. She pairs your socks, she books your dental appointments . She sorts out all this shit,‘ I said, tapping the tax and insurance discs displayed on the

AnneCecilie windscreen. ‘I‘ve no time for my career, but you‘ve more time for yours than you did before becoming a father, back when we were equal.‘ ‘We are equal. We‘re a team.‘ ‘We‘re not a team. 7mo
Reggie Ooof. Rough. Stacked! 7mo
32 likes2 comments
review
andrew61
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

A powerful evocation of the raw emotions of early motherhood. As the narrator talks to her toddler 'sailor', she describes with brutal honesty the contradiction of loving this new person so much you would kill for them but also run away. The loss of individuality is powerfully expressed, while the device of an old friend brings hope but also realisation that you can't go back. A brilliant piece of writing, tough, funny, heartbreaking. ⬇️

andrew61 The bookmark peeping out was given on preordering Katherine Priddys' new album when she supported the unthanks recently. Highly recommended, a beautiful voice. 8mo
Cathythoughts Definitely stacked after your review 👍🏻♥️ 8mo
andrew61 @Cathythoughts definitely worth trying Cathy, although memories of sleepless nights came flooding back, and hopefully, I wasn't quite as hopeless as the father in the story. 8mo
41 likes2 stack adds3 comments
review
Leniverse
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
Pickpick

An only very slightly exaggerated portrayal of life with an infant. (Her husband was almost unbelievably useless, and she was definitely enabling his behaviour in the worst way.) Emotionally intense, funny in places. Entirely accurate about the equal parts love and terror involved in having a child.

#WomensPrize #WomensPrize2024

BarbaraBB That husband drove me mad!! 8mo
Leniverse @BarbaraBB Right?! I would have either divorced or throttled that guy within the first month 😤 8mo
BarbaraBB Her enabling his behavior was annoying too indeed 😳 8mo
29 likes3 comments
review
BarbaraBB
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

The narrator doesn‘t recognize herself in the woman‘s she used to be before she became a fulltime mother. It drives her mad but she‘s also madly in love with her little son Sailor. Her husband is worthless, doing nothing to share the responsibilities for their baby, he is just working and living his life. And loving her. But is it enough?

A very recognizable read about the struggles and blessings of motherhood. #womenprize

squirrelbrain Great review! 8mo
Chelsea.Poole I‘m looking forward to this one. 😊 8mo
BarbaraBB @Chelsea.Poole It‘ll probably bring back some memories for you too 😀 8mo
See All 9 Comments
TrishB I have this on the pile! 8mo
sarahbarnes You‘re doing a much better job selling me on the books on the long list this year than the organizers did. Another one I may have to try! 😁 8mo
BarbaraBB @sarahbarnes i read just a few but (except for Hangman) they are all really good 🤷🏻‍♀️😀 8mo
sarahbarnes Very good to know. I‘ve added this one and Enter Ghost to my library order. Are there others you really liked, too? 8mo
BarbaraBB @sarahbarnes Yes, my absolute favorite so far is 8mo
75 likes3 stack adds9 comments
quote
BarbaraBB
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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I remember this feeling so well! #motherhood

Megabooks 💜 💜 8mo
AmyG Yep. Sounds right. I had twins after my first….and didn‘t even have room for feelings other than exhaustion. 8mo
kspenmoll Yes.🩷 8mo
CarolynM Oh yes! 8mo
Suet624 💕💕💕 8mo
69 likes5 comments
review
squirrelbrain
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
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Pickpick

The MC talks to her young child as she struggles through the change in her life since giving birth to him, along with coping with a seemingly absent husband who prefers to work long hours.

I don‘t have kids so can‘t speak to the veracity of this novel but I certainly found the MC‘s stream of consciousness thoughts really stressful to read, but incredibly compelling.

Another great read from the #womensprize long list.

BarbaraBB Sounds great Helen 8mo
Reggie What a great review, stacked. 8mo
youneverarrived Stacking! 8mo
77 likes4 stack adds3 comments
review
Kazzie
Soldier Sailor | Claire Kilroy
Pickpick

Oh wow - what a real story about how hard motherhood is. And how lonely. The gendered differences are interestingly depicted - in the husband and the friend. Ultimately makes you really appreciate your mom!