Litsy

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This was a well written but hard to read book. I love that the author has her nameless MC say she always wanted to write a book length poem and the book is written in these stanzas that effectively reflect a moment, an idea, but also move the book forward. The MC recounts her 14yr plus relationship with John. And you are right there, living the abuse, almost none of it physical, with the wife. I felt awful. It made me think of friends I‘ve 👇🏼

Reggie lost (not dead) to people like John. A hard pick. (edited) 5d

Jas16 Yes. This book was hard to read but hard to look away from. and as frustrating as it all was so much of it was easy to relate to in relationships you have witnessed if not also in relationships you have had. 5d

Reggie @Jas16 yeah, I had a friend who was pregnant and she got cheated on by her chef baby daddy, waitress texting at 3-4 in the morning while he was asleep. I had another friend who got choked while he was drunk and she stayed until he left her for a lookalike. And then he OD‘d. They were both smart and brilliant I just never knew why they would stay. Anyways, thanks to you and 2 others for making me wanna read this book. 5d

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Centique Im (hopefully) bringing up both my kids to know that you dont accept disrespect/cheating/abuse/controlling behavior. You dont forgive it. You get out. They can learn how to be a better person by themselves. I also make them read articles about how to spot a narcissist! They are all over it thank goodness. 5d

thecheckoutstack I agree, the relatableness of the relationship dynamic was the hardest part for me too. We all have either been in or know someone who has stuck in this cycle. 4d

kspenmoll Kudos to you- not sure I could read this although it sounds good. 3d

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Reggie

Liars: A Novel | Sarah Manguso

I‘m halfway through this book and I don‘t know if I can finish it. Has anybody listed to the John Delony Show? I listen because I think as a reader I‘m drawn to the drama but just like this book he has women who call in and ask-I found out my husband was sexting 9 other women and he doesn‘t think it‘s cheating, but we‘ve compromised so that he‘s only sexting 3 now-what should I do? Another woman-My 10yo daughter came home from a play date 👇🏼

Reggie sobbing because she saw her father, my husband making out with the mother of her friend. They were both drunk so maybe it wouldn‘t have happened if he was sober-what should I do? Deloney always ask them why do you think so little of yourself. Where‘s the self esteem?????? This is all I can think about as I read this book. 5d

TrishB I think you‘ve probably answered it yourself. They have no self esteem and think (because it‘s what they‘ve seen growing up) that staying married is the number 1 goal. It‘s very difficult for a myriad of reasons to get out of this mindset, not least financially for some women. A man judging me would not help me either. I could go on. 5d

Centique Wow those are some horrifying stories 😱 Im glad someone is telling them they deserve better! 5d

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Reggie @TrishB my grandma has dementia and the other day she asked me if my mom told her what happened last night. A friend of hers, Elia, took her to the Gomez(the local bar for all the rural ranchers and farmers). She saw my grandfather there dancing with another woman. She stood at the doorway and he turned around and his jaw dropped seeing that she saw him. Elia tells her to go stay at her place. She then told me that you can have and raise their👇🏼 5d

Reggie kids and clean their house and make sure they have dinner and they‘ll still fck around on you. Well that‘s it, I‘m divorcing him and kicking him out. The truth is Elia‘s been dead for 10 years and my grandpa for going on 25 years. She stayed with him and I wonder if the reason that memory is so prominent is the regret of the road not taken. She had 3 kids at the time and how was she supposed to manage. Idk. 5d

Reggie @Centique yeah, he‘s pretty empathetic with them. There was one where the wife discovered her husband was having an emotional affair and because he‘s in business with her father, the father has told her it‘s not really cheating. That was a rough one to listen to. 5d

TrishB 😢 exactly. The whole thing of a man tho telling women what they should do when a man behaves badly doesn‘t sit right with me! Who‘s telling the men to behave better. 5d

thecheckoutstack I think when you‘re being hurt in these massive unfathomable ways one way to deal with it is to downplay it for yourself so you can pretend the hurt isn‘t so extreme. It‘s a trauma response to help preserve your self esteem. Accepting that this wound is so painful also means you have to accept all the wounds leading up to it that you ignored and doing that would mean accepting you‘ve been letting yourself be degraded for years which is not easy. 4d

thecheckoutstack That‘s why you see people downplay or pretend it didn‘t happen. They can‘t accept how bad it is without destroying their sense of self. Super sad. 4d

Reggie @thecheckoutstack one of my biggest fears is being that woman on the ID channel. The woman who came home to find the police swarming her house. She asks why and they say your husband is the guy who killed 29 women. And she laughs because she‘s thinking HERhusband? But then reality sets in and she feels so stupid and you start to doubt yourself, like I totally get it. That last section of the book is her being so angry. I get that. 3d

44 likes10 comments

ImperfectCJ

Liars: A Novel | Sarah Manguso

I'm really enjoying this year's #ToB! I got myself a mug to commemorate finishing the whole shortlist (as I did in 2023). Today's decision and commentary---between Liars and The Book of George---are particularly interesting, and I enjoyed reading them while enjoying decaf from my official mug.

Meshell1313 Love it! 😍🙌 1w

AmyG Oh wow! 1w

BarbaraBB That‘s such a cool mug! 1w

ImperfectCJ @BarbaraBB Isn't it? And it's HUGE (I probably should have guessed from the listing on the ToB site, but it still surprised me...it's bigger than the 2023 one). 1w

54 likes4 comments

Jas16

Is She Really Going Out with Him? | Sophie Cousens

pick

Anna is divorced and has absolutely no desire to date until she suddenly needs to write a dating column in order to keep her job. When a basic foray back into dating is not fresh enough for the new big boss she agrees to let her kids pick her next few dates and to have her column go head to head with her work nemesis‘s dating column. I had a lot of fun with this story as Anna starts to trust herself and the world again and loved the Bath setting.

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CarolynM

Liars: A Novel | Sarah Manguso

pick

Once I started I could not stop reading. I found the story compulsive and kind of suffocating. The husband was so appalling - so self righteous, so unreliable, so unappreciative - I kept thinking “how dare he?”. I was beyond anger and into claustrophobia. While her relationship was outside my experience (and I recognise more than ever how lucky I am in mine) the description of caring for a small child was very relatable. #ToB2025 👇

Jas16 Wasn‘t he terrible? This was definitely a book that gets under your skin. 2w

CarolynM ☝️Would I have voted for this over The Wedding People if I‘d read it in time? I‘m not sure. I liked the broader range of TWP and the fact that it incorporated a little humour, but this is a very powerful book and I‘ll be interested to see how far it gets in the official tournament. 2w

CarolynM @Jas16 Yes, truly terrible! And I liked that there were specific examples of his behaviour so you weren‘t left wondering how reliable her version of events was. 2w

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Tamra I think I started this on audio, but I quit thinking it would be better in print. 2w

BkClubCare Intense 2w

Hooked_on_books I think “suffocating” is the perfect descriptor for this book. 2w

thecheckoutstack I flew through this one too 2w

squirrelbrain I agree with ‘suffocating‘. I did vote for this over TWP - it felt more like a ToB book to me. 2w

BarbaraBB Well said. I felt that way too. 2w

Cathythoughts Great review! Stacked. 2w

Rissreadswithcats I have too much menopausal feminist rage for this book at the moment! I‘ll stack it for the future when I‘m feeling calmer. (edited) 1w

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Jas16

Liars: A Novel | Sarah Manguso

pick

I read this in a constant state of fury. The story of a woman in a marriage who gives up her career and her sense of self to man who belittles her and refuses to acknowledge her contributions to their lives and his own neglect. My blood was boiling but I couldn‘t look away . I saw so many things in Jane‘s marriage that I have observed in relationships around me. Another book I wouldn‘t have picked up without the #tob25.

CarolynM I‘m reading it at the moment and I‘m beyond angry - it‘s making me feel kind of claustrophobic with frustration. I‘ve always appreciated my husband, but this is making me appreciate him even more! 2w

Leftcoastzen Wow 2w

BarbaraBB I love when a book has such an effect on me. I was so annoyed - by him mostly but by her too 2w

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MallenNC

Is She Really Going Out with Him? | Sophie Cousens

pick

This was my #jolabokaflod gift from @LeslieO and I finally got to finish it. I started it on Christmas Eve but didn‘t get far, but when I restarted it in February I finished quickly. I ended up loving Anna and Will plus the premise of the book made it fun getting where the author was leading. I‘ve enjoyed all the Sophie Cousens books I‘ve read so far. She‘s become a real favorite.

MallenNC @LeslieO The candy that came with the book did not last nearly as long! I really liked the sponge candy. I hadn‘t had that before. 3w

LeslieO Oh, I‘m so happy you liked it all. Sponge candy is my fav. I can‘t have it in the house. 😜 3w

MallenNC @LeslieO I think this book is going to be one of my favorites of the year! I can understand not keeping that candy in the house. It was very good so it workday tempt me too! 3w

26 likes3 comments

thecheckoutstack

Liars: A Novel | Sarah Manguso

pick

The first half of this book could have been pulled straight from my life and I suspect a lot of women will relate and cringe. It was almost hard to read but then the second half moved away from what I would consider standard ways patriarchy shows in heterosexual relationships and towards how that extends in combination with a narcissistic spouse. I LOVE a book where you get to just hate someone and there‘s nothing redeeming about John here.

BarbaraBB Great review! 4w

19 likes1 comment

thecheckoutstack

Liars: A Novel | Sarah Manguso

Do you want to know what it feels like to be metaphorically boiled alive? This book is doing that for me and I suspect any woman who‘s dated a man will relate to the quiet sinister parts of patriarchy in a relationship displayed in this book.

Reggie Yikes! 4w

BarbaraBB Great metaphor! 4w

Chelsea.Poole Yessss!! 4w

21 likes3 comments

BarbaraBB

Liars: A Novel | Sarah Manguso

pick

That husband! He is really the worst, she must have lied to herself a lot to stick with him through all the years. Giving up her career and her freedom and it‘s never gonna be enough. I felt for Jane and for the child and I totally understand her anger.
Very well written and in parts recognizable and uncomfortable. Another light pick. #ToB25

📷 My hotel room 🤩 on Tenerife, Canary Islands

squirrelbrain Lovely room! And i-spy your pile of books! 1mo

Lesliereadsalot Hope you‘re having a great time! 🩷 1mo

Hooked_on_books Gorgeous room! I liked this, too, and found the manchild infuriating. I feel like as women we are trained to tolerate this bad behavior in men and it‘s not ok! 1mo

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BarbaraBB @squirrelbrain Haha, the first thing I arrange in a hotel room! 1mo

BarbaraBB @Lesliereadsalot Thank you🤍 1mo

BarbaraBB @Hooked_on_books I don‘t feel we are trained to do so and I absolutely wouldn‘t. But I feel she is trapped in the marriage by things as health insurance and that‘s killing of course - and something we don‘t have to worry about here, which possibly gives people more freedom to make changes in their lives. 1mo

Hooked_on_books I tend to think parts of Europe are more equal than we are in the US (and I do think that‘s true), but I remember reading about a study done in Sweden with 5 year olds. They had lunch during the study, and it wasn‘t meant to be part of the study, but they noticed when it was time for lunch, the little boys sat and waited to be served while the little girls started helping serve without being asked. That‘s training females to wait on males (cont) (edited) 1mo

Hooked_on_books in a way I don‘t think many consciously intended. And this in one of the most equal countries in the world. That‘s why I say it‘s taught, even when it‘s insidious rather than overt. 1mo

BarbaraBB @Hooked_on_books You are right about that, I have indeed read about those studies too! We‘re taught from the start probably or it might even be in our genes, the thinking about others first… 1mo

youneverarrived What a gorgeous room! And I agree with your review entirely. 1mo

Megabooks Agree. Light pick! 3w

Suet624 I live a shadow life of travel through your photos of your travels. 3w

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