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The Gift of Failure
The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed | Jessica Lahey
14 posts | 5 read | 1 reading | 14 to read
Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents now rush to school to deliver forgotten assignments, challenge teachers on report card disappointments, mastermind childrens friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher, journalist, and parent Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their childrens well-being, they arent giving them the chance to experience failureor the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems. Everywhere she turned, Lahey saw an obvious and startling fear of failurein both her students and in her own children. This fear has the potential to undermine childrens autonomy, competence, motivation, and their relationships with the adults in their lives. Providing a clear path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most important, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their childrens setbacks along with their successes. Empathetic and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children thriveand grow into independent, confident adults. Its hard to overstate the importance of this book. The Gift of Failure is beautifully written and deeply researched. But most of all its the one book we all need to read if we want to instill the next generation with confidence and joy.Susan Cain, author of Quiet Instead of lecturing us about what were doing wrong, Jessica Lahey reveals what she did wrong with her own children and studentsand how she systematically reformed her ways. A refreshing, practical book for parents who want to raise resilient kids but arent sure how to start.Amanda Ripley, author of The Smartest Kids in the World Lahey offers one of the most important parenting messages of our times: unless we allow our children to learn how to take on challenges, they wont thrive in school and in life. Her extremely helpful book tells her story, compiles research, and provides hundreds of doable suggestions.Ellen Galinsky, author of Mind in the Making This fascinating, thought-provoking book shows that to help children succeed, we must allow them to fail. Essential reading for parents, teachers, coaches, psychologists, and anyone else who wants to guide children toward lives of independence, creativity, and courage.Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project How can we help our children grow to be resourceful, happy adults? Lahey shows in practical terms how to know what your child is ready for and how to offer support even as you encourage autonomy. A wise, engaging book steeped in scientific research and tempered with common sense.Daniel T. Willingham, PhD, author of Why Dont Students Like School? Through an artful combination of anecdote and research, Lahey delivers a lesson that moms and dads badly need to learn: that failure is vital to childrens success. Any parent who pines for a saner, more informed approach to childrearing should read this book.Jennifer Senior, author of All Joy and No Fun
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CoffeeK8
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📕The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed
💻 Roxane Gay
📽 Gilmore Girls & The Goonies
🎧 Garbage & Genesis
🎼 Galileo by the Indigo Girls
#ManicMonday #LetterG

AmyG Ah, Gilmore Girls!💕 5y
JoScho Thanks for playing 😊🖤 5y
33 likes2 comments
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LibraryLovingMommy
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Pg xii

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IamIamIam
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Pickpick

An excellent book for giving us the science and stats behind the helicopter parent epidemic and how to give your child autonomy and promote intrinsic motivation. Bottom line, let your kids fail and see what strategies work or don't work. My mom always said she did her time in school and my projects weren't her responsibility and, while I do help my kids, I totally understand the pride you have that comes with autonomy and ownership.

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Leelee08
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Next up in the TBR pile.📚

P.S. Letting go SUCKS.

30 likes2 stack adds
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IamIamIam
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In regards to family contributions, not chores, children can do around the house:

"Replacing toilet paper when it's gone. Leave the way the roll spins to your child's discretion."

Woah... just... woah...
I feel the same way as I did when I heard Marie Kondo thinks you only need 30 books. I haven't conditioned my children to have them start a toilet paper mutiny!!!!! ?

LibrarianRyan 😅 😂 😂 😂 😂 5y
wanderinglynn So wrong! There‘s a proper way to place the toilet paper and then there‘s anarchy. 😂😂😂 5y
IamIamIam @wanderinglynn Exactly!!!!! 5y
See All 9 Comments
tournevis Make them change the roll, but the correct way! 5y
IamIamIam @BookBabe 👏👏👏👏 5y
IamIamIam @tournevis Absolutely!!!! There is only one way! Lol 5y
tournevis @IamIamIam It's on the patent application!!!! 5y
IamIamIam @tournevis 😂😂😂👏👏👏👏 5y
29 likes9 comments
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IamIamIam
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"It takes more time to teach a child to clean a toilet than to clean the toilet ourselves, as is the case with about every worthwhile lesson, and we just did not have that kind of time anymore."

When it's put into words, I really see what disservice we're doing to our kids.

Reviewsbylola Very good perspective. 5y
IamIamIam @Reviewsbylola So far, this is great for perspective!!! I'm already feeling like the worst mom because I brought my son's cello to school so many times!!! 🤣 To be fair, it stayed home almost an equal amount of time, so maybe Mediocre Mom is a nickname I can live with. 😂😂 5y
25 likes2 comments
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IamIamIam
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I rarely read books because celebrities are talking about them, but @HarperCollins featured Kristen Bell with this on IG. After 10 minutes, I'm starting to think this needs to be handed out in hospitals!!! I put a lot of responsibility on my kids because I'm raising adults, not adult children, but I definitely see a few of my shortcomings already being pointed out.

29 likes2 stack adds
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WanderingBookaneer
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70 likes1 stack add
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HeatherW
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Atychiphobia

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HeatherW
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BriBie8888
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A new read on my first day at a new job..... #failure #success #gottatry

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Bookish_penguin
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Such an interesting read. Currently on the chapter about sports. A huge factor of tension for kids and parents.

10 likes1 stack add
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Kerouacthedog
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So #24in48 didn't work out. I'm looking ahead to #diverseathon and being kind in my expectations of myself.

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HotCocoaReads
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Pickpick

I needed to read this book. As parents, we're overprotecting and coddling our kids so they aren't learning how to function on their own. Stop giving rewards for grades (oops) or every little thing they do. Have kids learn the intrinsic value of their behaviors and natural consequences.

3 likes1 stack add