Three chapters in one day and I'm feeling grateful for Dr. Nolan. She may not have given Esther enough of a heads-up on the shock treatment, but true to her word, she was there every step of the way. She also starts to debunk some of Esther's deeply ingrained beliefs about sexual purity and sends her to get fitted for a diaphragm. Considering the time period, I think this practicing female psychiatrist is a total badass and I say, "Hail, hail."

What an utterly ludicrous and yet completely amusing, addictive (heh) read. There was just enough of our original characters in here to represent the world we know and love, but I was all-in in the author's changes. If Austen ever needed Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret to solve a murder, I have no doubt it would go down just like this. 😂 I finished it in my usual cafe with some rose lemonade - a perfect way to pass a relaxing Sunday.

It's Philomena Guinea to the rescue again, this time paying for Esther to stay in a private hospital. She meets Dr. Nolan (a female doctor!) who seems miles better than Dr. Gordon, though Esther's illness is still in full effect, paranoia on high as she reads deep meaning and connection into random things (the matchbook, anyone?). She receives a now-debunked treatment, Insulin Shock Therapy, and meets up with her former maybe-nemesis Joan Gilling.

Russ Tamblyn was one of my early loves- I grew up on movie musicals and his Riff in West Side Story is one for the ages, along with his role in the laughably sexist (but brilliantly choreographed) Seven Brides. Later as a teen, I re-discovered him in Twin Peaks. His autobiography details his incredible life and career as a dancer, choreographer, visual artist and actor. It's a pretty straightforward autobiography but one worth the telling.

Caught up on two bleak chapters and all I can think of is the White House plan to "asses the threat" of life-saving mental health care. We've always failed people with mental illness- when we locked them away and then kicked them back out into the streets, when we shoved them in overcrowded AFC homes, when we correlate mental illness with violence, and now this. There are countless Esthers today who need care; what are we doing to see they get it?

I apologize in advance for being flip. Today's chapter is a really hard read and yet all I could think of was my very first pop culture exposure to ECT, the terrifying movie Return to Oz. Somehow a bunch of adults thought that making a movie where Dorothy undergoes shock therapy would be GREAT for kids! Anyway, all this to say, ECT is a horror no matter where you meet it- in a movie theatre age 5 or in a beautiful novel at the age of 17 or 40+.

Obviously Esther eventually has a HUGE effing reason to dislike Dr. Gordon, but at first, it's all about the vibes (ok, ok, and a large helping of mental illness). We see her negative symptoms become more intense, neglecting her own self-care and experiencing an uptick in suspicion of people around her. It's a tough chapter made worse by Dr. Gordon's prescription of shock treatment. Hold onto your hats, folks...

Some of these feel pretty spot on, and others? Well, I'm flattered! 🤣 These have been so fun to see from everyone who's posted. #LiterallyMyCharacter Thanks @TheBookHippie !

I really enjoyed this book, but calling it even a loose adaptation of S&S is a stretch. True, it centers on two sisters with a deceased father (the elder sister is the oddest Elinor/Marianne hybrid and the younger is vaguely Elinorish) but that's pretty much it on the similarities. I wound up liking it a lot, and if YA is your bag, this one is a lovely coming-of-age story. But #PemberLittens, beware! There's not much of the Dashwood about it.

At home, Esther learns she didn't make the summer writing course she applied for. Her mental health is really starting to deteriorate as she both spies on and hides from her neighbours and vacillates rapidly between summer plans (I'll write a novel! No, I'll learn shorthand! No, I'll read Finnegan's Wake!). None of that happens, but she does manage to break up with Buddy and inadvertently wind up with a referral to a psychiatrist. Both wins, tbh.

The image I've concocted in my head of Esther throwing her clothes off the rooftop is so concrete and vivid that nothing I can find online even approximates it. But here's an image of two women on the roof of the real Barbizon Hotel so you get a sense of what her view may have been. This chapter is so intense and so profoundly sad, from Hilda's cold indifference to Marco's assault to the clothes floating into the city like "a loved one's ashes".

A chapter full of disaster- an awkward, post-Christmas drive to the Adirondacks with Mr. Willard, Buddy making Esther read a terrible poem he wrote, an unwanted marriage proposal, and finally skiing lessons from Buddy *who has never gone skiing himself*?! All leading up to a broken leg on the slopes, and no wonder. Wish Esther had refused to ski full-stop because all of this is nonsense.

This chapter is chock-full of so much beautiful writing. It might feel a little cliche and obvious today but I stand by the fig tree metaphor as being a perfect encapsulation of being young and staring down an uncertain future. And calling out the hypocrisy of sexual standards for women and the stultifying expectations of marriage at the time still feels so truthful and powerful. Hey young wannabe trad-wives, I've got a chapter for you to read....

Saw this posted by an acquaintance on Instagram, and I am once again begging the world to stop romanticizing this story of generational abuse, trauma, and revenge. #WanderingThroughWutheringHeights

So, I know that Esther is actually angry and frustrated with the restrictive and hypocritical double standards of her time and is taking it out on Buddy but the guy still pisses me off. My rational brain knows that he didn't lie to her - he came clean about the waitress as soon as she asked - but I still can't stand his smug, mansplain-y vibe and I don't blame Esther for feeling relieved when he's shipped off to the Adirondacks.

Esther gets a call from a guy named Constantine, but soon realizes the mother of her situationship is behind it. In her memory, we meet the man himself- Buddy Fucking Willard, who grandly condescends to visit her at college, who gives her a "dry, uninspiring" kiss, and who, worst of all, is smugly dismissive of her poetry. But in between Constantine and Buddy, Esther reads a beautiful short story and wants to go live inside of it- 100% relatable!

Reading this book as a teen, Esther's thoughts and feelings were so close to my own that it felt totally contemporary. And then I'd come across an undeniably '50s reference and my brain would melt - like when Jay Cee "pinned on a hat of imitation lilacs" and patted Esther's shoulder with a "lilac-gloved hand". Hats and gloves? In the daytime?! At work?? Must be a fantasy world! Anyway, enjoy these pics of 1950s lilac hats; which one's your fave?

Time for a stupid fancy luncheon complete with "mountainous centrepieces" made of fruit! The whole thing screams "ostentatious" and though Esther absolutely demolishes an entire bowl of caviar like she's made for it, the whole episode is contrasted against her childhood memories of eating economy meat-loaf and only occasionally sampling luxury food with her waiter grandfather. We also get a deeper look at her growing inertia and lack of direction.

There is so much to sink our teeth into in chapter 2, namely Esther's growing sense of loneliness and alienation. The feeling she describes sitting on her own watching Doreen and Lenny flirt and make out is so recognizable, and her later isolation at the hotel when the city "hung in the window, flat as a poster" is so vivid I can feel it in my bones. But it's her rumination on the power of a scorching hot bath that has lived with me for years now.

Here we go, out the gate running fast with one of the best, most evocative opening lines ever (fight me). We're dropped right into Esther's life in New York, though she narrates from a distance, and the details are so vivid despite her sense of disconnectedness. I love the juxtaposition of her feeling "wise and cynical as all hell" even as she's too naive to know what to order in a bar and too young to see that Doreen's lead isn't worth following.

Emily Wilson's translation gets a HUGE standing O from me, and Audra McDonald's audiobook narration is unbelievably moving and deeply emotional. It's a long listen (took me 4 weeks to get through), but it's worth the commitment. And the quote here from Wilson's introduction could not be more true. The loss throughout the story is staggering in scale, brutal and overwhelming- yet the grief described is so human and so cathartic. Bravo all around.

Someday the Internet will lose its battle against me! 😭 #PemberLittens #JaneAustenThenAndNow

Lord help me, I forgot just how far Kelly reaches in this book. While I do agree that the works of Very Important Men are mined for symbolism and veiled political statements while the books of this particular lady author are dismissed as fluffy romances, I will never be convinced that Edward was sent away due to strange sexual proclivities nor that Brandon was actually misleading Elinor to throw her off the scent of being Eliza's actual father. ⬇️

Raced through the S&S chapter in one sitting, with some hot cocoa in hand. Love this bit best of all:

"The last thing lovers should do, despite what Marianne and I imagined, is agree about everything and share all each other's tastes...If your lover's already just like you, then neither one of you has anywhere to go. Their character matters not only because you have to live with it, but because it's going to shape the person YOU become."

In addition to the Austen adaptations, re-tellings, prequels, and sequels I'm planning to read this year, I'm also going to include these two, hitting the chapter in each connected to the book we've just finished. Both of them are re-reads for me (I especially like the tagged book and have come back to it multiple times!) but it's been awhile for both and I'm looking forward to digging in again. #PemberLittens #JaneAustenThenAndNow

Here are the retellings I'm hoping to tackle this month for the #JaneAustenThenAndNow read: spicy S&S in a beach town, an S&S murder mystery, a polarizing modern version, and three YA takes because dang it, I love YA. Authors Rosie Rushton and Staci Hart have adapted all of Austen's novels, and while I've read Rushton's before, Hart's are new to me. We'll see how this goes...! Anyone else out there looking for some S&S-adjacent reads for February?

Uhhh, hey Penguin, who asked for this? 😳 😬 What say you, #PemberLittens? #JaneAustenThenAndNow #TheNowIsHideous

Thank you @Crinoline_Laphroaig for leading the #PemberLittens and for these great discussion questions!

1. S&S was the first Austen I read, age 14, and I fell in love. I don't know how many times I've read it - maybe 15? It's one of those that gives me something different every time and it's been both sobering and really fun to read it through the decades, first as a Marianne, then an Elinor, then a (gasp!) Mrs. Jennings and back again. ⬇️

And we end with happiness! Elinor and Edward marry and Mrs. F relents, offering them a bit of cash to settle more comfortably at Delaford. Marianne eventually has to eat all her words because she falls - not passionately - but quietly in love with an old man who wears flannel waistcoats. And now Margaret is of age to dance and have beaux and be teased, so triumph for Mrs. J! My love for this book is unceasing; I will never tire of it. Brava, Jane!

Ch. 49. Edward returns and though we don't get the actual proposal, we are assured that he has joyfully "secured his lady." Much of this chapter is full of people bashing Lucy - Mrs. Jennings calls her a hussy! And Edward throws shade at her writing and admits that the whole affair started because he was so bored and directionless he had "nothing in the world to do, but to fancy (himself) in love." But out with the trash- a bright future is ahead!

Ch. 47/48: Elinor is anxious for news of Edward, and she gets it- a servant ran into the newly married Mr. and Mrs. Ferrars. Elinor does her best to take it in stride, when all at once, Edward arrives! He lets it fly that it's actually his brother who got married (while nervously ruining some good scissors, get it together, man) and when Elinor leaves the room in a burst of emotion (so much for calm) dude up and flees the house?! Edward! Come ON!

Ch. 45/46: Mrs. Dashwood and Brandon arrive just as Marianne is in the clear! Also, Brandon confessed his love for Marianne to Mrs. D. She shares the news with Elinor, singing his praises and claiming that she never thought much of that Willoughby (uh-huh). Soon they head home to Barton and Marianne gives Elinor a heartfelt apology for being such a rude, thoughtless bitch to everyone. It's actually a lovely moment of self-awareness- yay, growth!

Marianne's illness worsens and Brandon goes to fetch Mrs. D, when who shows up? King of the fuckboys himself, drunk off his ass and ready to make all sorts of excuses for his cruelty, which boils down to: "I've been in horrific debt for years and was always looking for a sugar mama! Besides, my rich aunt disowned me when I knocked up Eliza so I had to get that Miss Grey stack. Don't hate me!" Cue my eye rolls! Does anyone feel bad for this asshat?

Ch. 41/42: Elinor grudgingly pays a last visit to John and Fanny before leaving London. John is ever the tactless twat and Robert Ferrars shows up and generally acts like a self-important windbag. Once at Cleveland, Marianne goes full-on emo, sad to leave the city where she last saw Willoughby but unable to stand being so close to Combe Magna, her personal Boulevard of Broken Dreams. She takes to sad-girl solo walks but uh-oh...she catches cold...

Ch. 39/40: These chapters genuinely crack me up. Brandon and Elinor hang out by the window to talk confidentially, and Mrs. J retreats just far enough for some plausible deniability while frantically straining to listen and read lips. She hears just enough to assume that the conversation is a proposal. In reality, Brandon tells Elinor that he's heard about Edward's circumstances and wants to offer him the parsonage and living at Delaford. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Ch. 37/38: Two chapters full of nothing but hot gossip! Fanny Dashwood invited the Steeles to stay (but only to avoid inviting the Dashwoods) and completely misreading the situation, nobody's favorite airhead Nancy spilled the beans on the Lucy/Edward engagement. And shit. hit. the. fan. Fanny had a meltdown and Mrs. Ferrars went nuclear, not only fully disinheriting Edward but vowing to take him down at every turn. Yikes on fucking bikes, folks!

Ch. 35/36: These chapters are getting so rich I can hardly summarize them two at a time! But I'll try: the Dashwoods have to attend an annoying party with Fanny and John, and Elinor is introduced to Toothpick Case Guy, aka Robert Ferrars, a pompous blowhard. He couldn't be more different from his shy brother, who previously tried to visit Elinor only to find that Lucy was also there, resulting in the most painfully awkward social call of all time.

I took a hiatus on posting due to some travel and am working on getting caught up on all things #PemberLittens! But I had to take a minute to post about the surprise gift waiting for me when I got home - this sweet collection of Louisa May Alcott titles. I've never read Jack and Jill, so I'm really looking forward to that one. I'm fact, I may need to do a full re-read of her works this year! #LouisaMayAlcott #BookishGifts

Ch. 33/34: OK, I'm cheating today by posting twice but I had to make a little commotion for one of my all-time favorite moments of Austen snark - the whole thing about He Who We Shall Meet Shortly buying a toothpick case. His self-indulgent frivolity leaps off the page and the author absolutely roasts him for it. No memes or quips that we conjure up in discussing her work could ever come close to Jane's humor when she lets it fly.

Ch. 33/34: LOTS of action in these two chapters, most of which boils down to the Dashwood sisters being surrounded by utter trash people. Mrs. Ferrars? A sour, sallow bitch. Lucy Steele? Still a scheming, calculating gremlin. John Dashwood? The worst of all- an oblivious, hypocritical asshole of the largest order. I mean, tell us again what is due to poor relations from their rich family members, John. GO AHEAD. TELL US.

Ch.31/32: Brandon stops by in the morning, and while Marianne flees the room (again), Elinor welcomes him. He proceeds to trauma dump his whole sad life story, ending with Willoughby's having seduced, impregnated, and abandoned Brandon's ward, Eliza 2. The fact that the two men duel is skated over pretty quickly, but I've gotta ask: why do a military man and an avid hunter both walk away unscathed? Starting to believe this meme was the real story.

Ch. 29/30: Marianne is rightfully heartbroken after Willoughby sends the most fuckboy letter of all time, straight up like, "Hey, sorry if you got the wrong idea from my excessive flirting, but I'm engaged, actually" and it's horrible. In her anguish, Marianne twists the knife, invoking Edward's supposed love for Elinor. Mrs. J offers up comfort food and wine but it's no use and Elinor happily chugs the Constantia herself. Girl has earned it!

Ch. 27/28: Willoughby is almost completely MIA- he dropped his card once when the Dashwoods were out, but other than that, he's giving A+ level ghosting. Marianne is slowly losing it, but at a party, she finally sees him! A miracle! However, in a dramatic turn equal to that of Demi blanking Kylie at the Golden Globes, Willoughby pretty much ignores her, greeting Elinor only, making some lame-ass remarks to M, and then making a quick escape. WTF?!

Ch. 25/26: Mrs. J invites the Dashwoods to stay with her in London and for some reason Marianne is...into it? But immediately upon arrival, M's motives become clear - she sends a note to Willoughby, and Elinor is like, "Engagement confirmed!" Why else would Marianne be so bold as to *gasp* write a letter? A knock on the door makes Marianne jump but when she finds Brandon on the other end, not W, she flees the room immediately. A little tact, girl!

Save the date, #BetsyTacy fans! The next Betsy-Tacy Convention will be held this year in Mankato, MN in honor of the birthday girl, Deep Valley's Emily Webster! More information to come on speakers, workshops, and activities, but rest assured- if you've never visited Betsy's house, sat on the famous bench, or gallivanted around Lincoln Park (”that pie-shaped wedge!") - you don't want to miss this chance. #BetsyTacyAndTib #MaudHartLovelace

Ch. 23/24: Elinor tries to come to terms with Edward's engagement to Lucy in the most exasperatingly Elinor way possible- by feeling worse for him than she feels for herself and by pretending that absolutely nothing is wrong. When she's next able to get Lucy alone, she gently pushes for intel, and eventually concludes that Edward could not possibly love his fiancee. I mean, who could?! I think the tweet pictured here speaks for all of us, amirite?

Ch. 21/22: Buckle up, gang, the Palmers left in the blink of an eye; now the Sisters Steele are here, and Lucy is a stone-cold bitch. Learning that Elinor's Mr. F is Edward, she puts on a bullshit innocent act to bring Elinor in her confidence while actually staking her claim: "See this miniature, this letter? Notice that grimy hair ring? He's mine, back off." Elinor gets it loud and clear and is finally left alone to be "wretched" about it.

Chapters 19/20: Using an old meme today but what better image to capture Edward's "plight"? OK, I feel for him, what with his harridan of a mom, but get some real problems, man. You're so rich that you can swan about being "dashing and expensive" and you're still gonna be a drag? I know, I'm hard on dear Edward but his Sad Boy schtick is wearing- on both me and Elinor! Luckily he fucks off to somewhere else, just in time for the Palmers to arrive.

Chapters 17/18: Edward spends the first part of his visit moping around like a saddo. He rallies a little after being generously welcomed by Mrs. D but "he was still not in spirits". He loosens up as time passes, teasing M about how to describe the picturesque countryside, and even ribbing her about Willoughby. But I can take no joy in it because in this chapter we're introduced to Edward's disgusting hair ring, which grosses me right tf out. ?

Got FAR too excited to see these Shakespeare Recording Society records at a library used book sale today- truly, like a kid in a candy store. We're talking Ian McKellen, Judi Dench, John Gielgud, Ian Holm, Claire Bloom, Eileen Atkins, Paul Scofield, Albert Finney, Peggy Ashcroft, Glenda Jackson, Edith Evans, and more. And for about 12 bucks! My winter evenings are set, good night and thank you. 🙌 #CurrentlyListening #Shakespeare