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Ladyparts
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
16 posts | 8 read | 19 to read
The new Nora Ephron for Roxanne Gay readers, 'Ladyparts' is a frank and dazzlingly written memoir of one woman trying to keep it together while her body falls apart. A Dewey Diva Pick. Book Club.
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review
Cinfhen
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Mehso-so

This was on @MallenNC #ALsoine list and sounded like something I‘d love but man, Deborah was difficult to root for. A memoir/ rage fueled diatribe( rightly so) against shitty US healthcare, unfair employment practices, ridiculous housing & college costs, terrible employers, dishonest friendships and the hardships of being a single mom trying to earn a living , support a family and maintain a social life. 👇🏼

Cinfhen Deborah has been through A LOT both physically and mentally. I admire her pluck and determination but she has this rough exterior that came across as egotistical, whiny, blameless, self absorbed and haughty. Plus this memoir was disjointed, repetitive and wayyyyyyy too long. I do think this book has much to say about women‘s lack of rights and equality, especially when it comes to accessing good healthcare. Would be great for bookclub choice! (edited) 2y
MallenNC What I liked about this one was how it showed so clearly that US healthcare is messed up. I‘m also a journalism school grad so I liked reading what it was like when the bottom fell out of that industry. I do think she has a difficult personality and I bet the audio version makes that more obvious. 2y
Cinfhen 💯 this book and Deborah was fantastic at highlighting the struggles the working poor deals with when it comes to basic needs ( housing, healthcare, higher education) and I could see how as a journalism student her story would be extra compelling @MallenNC Im still glad for your recommendations!! Only one more to go from your list,which I just picked up on the Audible sale😁 2y
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Lizpixie 🙌🎉 2y
Megabooks Sorry this didn‘t work for you! Like @MallenNC I loved it for the points she made about healthcare, but I agree with you that she is difficult to root for. (edited) 2y
66 likes6 comments
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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#Nonfiction2023 #JustAGirl by No Doubt

I think it fits this book well as it dives to medical issues that haven‘t been researched in women 🙄, doctors and health care systems that ignore women‘s pain & complaints, and sexual harassment removing job opportunities, etc, etc… I think we‘ve all “had it up to here”

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Clwojick Woohoo! Way to go! 2y
43 likes1 comment
review
Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Pickpick

Part of my “should have finished this last year” pile that I‘m starting January 2023 with 😂. It arrived late for my #SheSaid read last year, so I started out behind, and then went back to the library before I could finish it. After a long wait, I finally got it back and got to read the rest of the story. It was a very good read about the issues accompanying being a women in the US and how everything from the pay gap, ⤵️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ to health care discrepancies, to sexual harassment, to income inequality, and the health insurance industry all compound regular everyday life issues that affect us all and women especially because of the specific power dynamic she explores with both her personal story and the studies and research to back it up as not uniquely her unusual experience. (edited) 2y
51 likes1 comment
review
MallenNC
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Pickpick

I thought it was so frustrating to see in this memoir how the healthcare/insurance system can keep a successful person in debt. I appreciated how honest she was throughout, especially with her career struggles in a time of transition for print journalism. I think it‘s hard to write a memoir about your own relationships, health challenges, and career in the context of the U.S. healthcare system but she did a good job balancing it all.

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Hello #SheSaid! I‘m still behind on this one, which is a shame because it‘s so good! I hope all of you that are ahead of me and finishing up are enjoying this one too.

vlwelser It's really good. She does get a little bitter there for a second. But I like that she included the parts about living in NYC during the pandemic. 2y
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TheKidUpstairs I was really enjoying her writing, but I found that I was getting quite angry (appropriately) at much of the subject matter. So I had to take a break. Just not what I am in the right headspace for these days. I will come back to it another time! 2y
MallenNC I thought this was great but it was hard to read. It‘s so frustrating to see how the healthcare/insurance system can keep a highly successful person in such debt. I appreciated how honest she was throughout, and she did a good job telling her story in the broader context. I felt bad during her career struggles in a time of transition for print journalism. This also reminds me of Invisible Women bc of the lack of research of women‘s health 2y
vlwelser @Riveted_Reader_Melissa not that I need to tag you in your own post but whatever. Are we reading the next book? I have a (couple of) library copies but haven't seen the schedule. 2y
vlwelser Are you ok? Do you need a break from this? 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser I just posted the schedule today! And thank you for checking on me…it was definitely a bad month here personally and although the book was very good, I found myself not making time for it, probably the tough subject matter. I am looking forward to some fiction next month…and whatever reading challenges I pick for next year I think some good escapism reading is definitely going to be on my to-do list. 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser I think I‘ve fallen into the age-old Woman problem…the one where you are the “care-giver” for so many that you don‘t have time to do any of the things you want to do and enjoy doing….so another thing on my new year goal plans (although I‘m not waiting until the new year) plan time for me, me time.🤷‍♀️ (edited) 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser I did post the updated schedule for SheSaid for the next year… did you see that one or do you need me to tag you. (edited) 2y
vlwelser I got it. I just wanted to make sure you were ok mostly. Hosting a group can be a lot. And you didn't seem to be as active as you normally are on here. I'm not sure if anyone kept up with this book. I did finish. But still working on the previous one (I should finish that or give up). 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser I was keeping up pretty well with ours until this one, and then it came from the library late, then the holidays, and in-between I had to put a pet to sleep…so I just kept running behind. I will finish it though, because I really liked the issues she was bringing up as she went through her personal story. But yes, overall I‘ve only read 1/3 of the books this year that I read last year & I‘m not happy about it, I have books I really ⤵️ (edited) 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ want to read and just can‘t get the time to read them. So I need to set some priorities for 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ want to read, and just can‘t get to them. So I need to set some priorities for me. 2y
vlwelser It's hard to catch back up once you're behind. I'm trying to commit to less things so I have time to do things I actually enjoy. But maybe not until January, 😂. 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser Yes! I have to do that! 2y
32 likes16 comments
review
vlwelser
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Pickpick

Finished this yesterday. It's an excellent memoir but also does a dive into things that women face in the US.

#SheSaid @Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Final discussion Sunday

#BookSpinBingo @TheAromaofBooks

TheAromaofBooks Great progress!!! 2y
40 likes1 comment
review
AllDebooks
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
Mehso-so

Some elements are interesting and thought provoking. Her personal history is traumatic to read. I did find myself triggered by some parts. I found the writing to be quite repetitive and this caused me to lose interest and empathy.

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Hello #SheSaid!

I‘m still running a bit behind, but catching up fast. I‘m really loving her voice in this one, so much I shouldn‘t be able to relate to, but I do much more than I probably should. 🤔

How are you all doing with this one?

Karisa I just finished it and really enjoyed it. I was struck by how much she said the work climate has been impacted and improved by the “me too” movement. Creepy bosses beware! Copaken has been so brave to write about her life so intimately and the reader in me likes her descriptive writing style. She left the book in a good, hopeful place too. I was worried after so many traumas. It was a lot to take in at times but an honest look at US today. 2y
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IndoorDame Could you please take me off the tag list for a bit? I‘m not doing a great job of keeping up with things lately, so I think I‘d benefit from fewer commitments for now. 2y
Karisa Thank you for choosing it. I don‘t think this author would‘ve been on my radar without you and #shesaid. You‘ve helped me branch out of my fiction box 💗 2y
vlwelser Even though some of these sections feel a bit long, somehow she keeps me reading. I'm excited to hear more about her experiences with Emily in Paris. But not totally holding my breath that she will circle back to it. Her ex comes out sounding like a total dickhead. But so do some of these other men. 2y
vlwelser Her experiences with the health care "system" are completely horrifying. 2y
MallenNC I am late getting to this post today. My friend and I went to see Hairspray at our local theatre! I am really liking this book. I love her honesty and her writing style. It‘s infuriating how her health care issues and our insurance system out her into poverty. That‘s a huge shame on the U.S. in my opinion. 2y
KathyWheeler I‘m behind — I‘m still on the uterus section — but I‘m loving it. She‘s helping me understand why even women people think are strong stay in bad situations. The book is also fueling my hate for the US healthcare system and my belief that healthcare should NOT be tied to employment. 2y
Chrissyreadit @KathyWheeler I‘m reading the comments and yours really resonated. I stayed in an abusive marriage for 20 years because of health insurance. My kids and I all have ptsd. I think I need to read this book. When I divorced I literally cried over losing my insurance. 2y
KathyWheeler @Chrissyreadit it just hurts my heart that anyone has to stay in situations like yours simply because of insurance. It‘s so wrong, and why people don‘t see that is beyond me. Maybe they do see but don‘t care. 😡 2y
Chrissyreadit @KathyWheeler I think people have been lied to for so long in order to further capitalism at all costs that it is just easier to believe health care is a privilege and not a right that furthers the growth of the country and that human rights should include health care. 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Chrissyreadit I‘ve found equal catch 22‘s with insurance being tied to full time employment. If you are disabled, and can work part-time…no healthcare, so your limited wages all go to healthcare. So you are almost forced to not work, fight for 2-3 years to be officially declared “disabled” to get health insurance. The weirdest, counterintuitive, system. 2y
Chrissyreadit @Riveted_Reader_Melissa yes! I know that is also a huge struggle! 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Chrissyreadit But yes, I completely agree with you about it being a big lie to further capitalism… to tie healthcare to both marriage and full employment. It‘s amazing how many other countries have managed to separate those threads, but we just can‘t seem to do it. 2y
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AllDebooks
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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#NovelNovember #Readathon

Those autumnal colours are like fire 😍
Goals
📙 Read Fairy Tale - Stephen King
📙 Finish Ladyparts for #SheSaid
📙 Continue with Braiding Sweetgrass for #NaturaLitsy
📙 Read and review a #Netgalley choice

@Andrew65

Andrew65 Great to have you with us and good luck 😁 2y
33 likes1 comment
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Hello #SheSaid

I got my book, I have some catching up to do. I‘m almost finished with the first section, and for serious subjects…this is a great read so I should be caught up soon.

In the meantime, how is ever else doing with this selection.

vlwelser I'm also not totally finished with this week's section. But I like how much she covers. She puts her own life out there, but also points out the things women specifically struggle with. And why the world is not working in our favor. Especially in the US with our healthcare situation. 2y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser Yes, I find myself highlighting a lot. So I‘m glad I waited for the kindle version to come. 2y
AllDebooks I'm catching up too. I do like her writing so far 2y
Julsmarshall My hold just came in but I haven‘t started yet, will this week! 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Julsmarshall We can catch up together 😂 2y
Karisa I‘m enjoying the book a lot. Like @vlwelser I am continually amazed by how open Copaken is with her life and body. I also love the structure of it as a memoir with broader facts. My brain loves the story aspect. Also reading Come Fly With Me (feminist look at Pan Am stewardesses) and finding parallels. How can some things like inequal pay and gendered expectations for caregiving responsibilities still be the same since the 1960s? 2y
Singout What is the next book? I don‘t think it‘s in the schedule I downloaded many months ago. 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Singout I talked you on the updated list if you want to update your screenshot. And the next book is 2y
35 likes10 comments
blurb
Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Hello #SheSaid!

By all accounts this book selection is great, however my loan hasn‘t come in yet. So please start without me! I‘ll catch up as soon as I can (and I might just have to cave and buy this one 😂)

vlwelser I'm sorry your loan hasn't come through. But it's great so far. The author talks about her frustration with men in general (healthcare) and her husband specifically. I like how she talks about her health struggles interspersed with life and world events. Plus Nora 😍 2y
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Karisa I‘m really enjoying it too. It was difficult to stop at the end of this section. I love how it reads like a story, well it is her story. Everyone needs a Nora in their life. I‘m left wondering who was right about the author‘s husband—the doctors or Nora? His lack of empathy and support have been as shocking as her health struggles 2y
ravenlee Please remove me from tags for the time being. Life is hard these days. 2y
MallenNC I‘m really liking this one too. It‘s a fast read, Melissa, so I bet you can catch up. She‘s a good writer especially when dealing with unpleasant topics. I remember reading her other memoir Shutterbabe and liking it except for the title. It was great to read here that she didn‘t like it either. 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @ravenlee I‘m so sorry…. You asked me before and I forgot. My apologies 2y
ravenlee Thanks. I hate to miss out but life 🤷🏻‍♀️ 2y
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blurb
Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Up next for #SheSaid

Please put in your library holds and interlibrary loans! 😉

vlwelser I have this and I'm ready to get started. I'm determined not to get behind this time. 2y
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AllDebooks Really looking forward to this one. Still playing catch-up on 2y
Karisa I‘m excited for this book too! I‘ve heard it‘s a must-read. 2y
KathyWheeler I did not keep up on the last two books, but I‘m determined to get back on track with this one. 2y
Karisa @MzSaraPugh @TheImposterLibrarian Just in case you are interested. This is a great, low key book discussion on Litsy with the #SheSaid. There‘s a new feminist book(usually nonfiction) each month. On Sundays, Melissa posts her thoughts on the section of the week and anyone that wants to replies to her post to add in their thoughts. It‘s always thought provoking. I like it because it me to branch out from only fiction 😊 2y
MallenNC I just picked this up from the library. I read an essay that I think is adapted from this book earlier in the year so I‘m looking forward to this one. 2y
ravenlee Unfortunately, I need to withdraw from this group for the time being. With kiddo‘s medical crisis very slowly resolving and our entire schedule being turned upside down, I just can‘t keep up with reading groups at the moment. Please remove me from tags for now. 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @ravenlee can do! Please take all the time you need…. I hope things get better soon. 2y
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review
Shievad
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
Pickpick

This was a great book that took me 2+months to read because I had to take mental health breaks from it. Copaken breaks the book into parts based on her body part that required surgery. Ultimately it‘s a book about living in a female body in a country w employer based healthcare and little to no safety nets for its citizens, particularly single mothers.

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BarbaraTheBibliophage
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Just read a great interview (link below) with this author. @Riveted_Reader_Melissa , this would be an awesome choice for #SheSaid. And I know it‘s already on your radar b/c @Megabooks already read and reviewed. I‘m definitely interested in this topic!

https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/deborah-copaken-ladyparts-memoir

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I was just discussing this book on @Megabooks post! 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa Did you read it already @BarbaraTheBibliophage or you want to read it? 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I want to read the book! I just saw the interview this morning and immediately thought the group would like it. Then I saw you and M talking about it. Looks like plenty to discuss! 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa @BarbaraTheBibliophage Great! I‘d love to read another book with you. The other one I‘m thinking about adding is Cultural Warlords….have you read that one yet? 3y
Megabooks This fits well with the books you‘ve chosen in the past 👍🏻👍🏻 it would definitely spark some interesting discussion! @BarbaraTheBibliophage @Riveted_Reader_Melissa 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I haven‘t read Culture Warlords yet. But it sounds like having a discussion group along with it would be good! 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @BarbaraTheBibliophage I need to update the list soon, we have picked out until January I believe, and I like to have them listed out a bit in advance for library holds, etc. 3y
MallenNC I just read an excerpt of this and thought it was interesting. I read her previous memoir a while back. 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @MallenNC Good to know. I may look up her previous book! 3y
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review
Megabooks
Ladyparts: A Memoir | Deborah Copaken
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Pickpick

This is more horror than memoir to me! Copaken writes about the difficulty of being ill in a country with employer-based health coverage. Like many Gen X journos, she has trouble finding steady work when the bottom falls out of the publishing industry. She has a perfect shitstorm of being ill, under- or unemployed, and going through a divorce as a mom of 3. The book highlights different body parts she‘s had illness in from breast cancer to covid.

Riveted_Reader_Melissa It sounds very good! 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa And honestly if you can laugh at the crazy horrible stuff, that‘s the way to go. 3y
Megabooks @Riveted_Reader_Melissa this is definitely up your alley! American healthcare is ridiculous and frustrating and dangerous and she highlights all those parts of it well. 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Megabooks Stacking!!! It is up my alley, I wish we‘d make some changes in this area though, the problems at this point are so well known. 3y
Megabooks @Riveted_Reader_Melissa same. I hope it happens before I retire! 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Megabooks Honestly, the best covered I‘ve ever been was when I had to apply for Disability and got both Medicare & Medicaid. It‘s sad, because applying was such a struggle for me, I had a lot of shame/guilt over it personally….but the health benefits after were such a huge weight off my shoulders. 3y
Megabooks @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Yup. I‘m on disability now and losing health insurance is a big barrier to workforce reentry. I wouldn‘t be ready yet anyway, but I would like to go back, and knowing I‘d lose Medicare makes it all the harder. And I have a lot of shame/guilt about it as well, even though it was a program I paid into with every paycheck! 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Megabooks Yes! I feel the same way. If only we could get full healthcare and only work part-time….that would really help a lot of people. That‘s where I fell and had to eventually apply, once you go to part-time, usually no healthcare & so you‘re kind of stuck. And I think that‘s where some of the guilt comes in, I miss working, with the “perfect” job I could be working, but those jobs are becoming rare unicorns to find. Last time I ⤵️ 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ I was looking, no matter how I downsized my searches…employers want more from their employees, more hrs, more overtime. Yes, you can be a sit down all day secretary, BUT you also have to go upstairs to the supply closet every time someone stops in and needs something (which could be 5 times in a row in an hour), or walk to the post office every day (it‘s just 3 blocks over), or when the Fed-ex arrives walk the packages over to the warehouse. ⤵️ 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ all of which quickly became deal breakers for me, I‘m just not that consistently mobile. And able bodied people just don‘t quite understand…. You love to garden, you should do that. Well there is a big difference between working in my garden 1/2 an hour a week, when I feel good and working for a landscaper 8 hrs a day nonstop. 🤷‍♀️ (edited) 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Megabooks I‘ve started to remind myself every time I feel guilt or shame for applying for some benefit I need. Do rich people feel guilt or shame when they apply for a tax loophole, or govt program, I‘m guessing not…so why do we on the other side.🤷‍♀️ 3y
Megabooks @Riveted_Reader_Melissa yes to all of this!! A huge part of the problem for me is being able to do things full time. I expected after my last spinal fusion not to be able to go back to work as a private practice vet. Fine. There are other things I can do. But wait! Now I can only look straight ahead. Like if my screen or book is even a few inches above or below straight ahead, I can‘t do it. It‘s not even a matter of a full workday, I can‘t bow ⬇️ (edited) 3y
Megabooks ⬆️ my head in prayer for grace at dinner. This makes finding a job really difficult. I‘d have to work from home to have the right desk set up. Add to that other restrictions like lifting, etc. and general mobility problems… that job is a damn unicorn. And to have health benefits and pay a living wage… really hard. And that tax loophole is a good idea! I‘m guessing Bezos has a clear conscience and so should I! 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Megabooks Somehow I doubt he asked himself, could I pay my full taxes & still go to space, but I‘d just have to live in a more reasonable home…so I can do that, I‘ll pay my taxes in full….Nope! The differences are becoming starker, as we also hear more about how Amazon treats their workers too. We are really going to need to bring back unions again in a big way just to reclaim reasonable working hours and job requirements,& national healthcare 3y
BarbaraBB @Riveted_Reader_Melissa @megabooks I feel for you both. It seems so unfair you can‘t work part time and keep insurance. And to feel guilty while you can‘t do a thing about is and people like Bezos don‘t pay their full taxes… frustrating. 3y
Megabooks @BarbaraBB it is extremely frustrating. America needs to do better. 3y
BarbaraBB Definitely. America can‘t allow this. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @BarbaraBB Thank you, and yes.. it is extremely frustrating. It‘s an odd Catch-22 you find yourself stuck in. 3y
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