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The Tragedy of Heterosexuality
The Tragedy of Heterosexuality | Jane Ward
15 posts | 3 read | 5 to read
A troubling account of heterosexual desire in the era of #MeToo Heterosexuality is in crisis. Reports of sexual harassment, misconduct, and rape saturate the news in the era of #MeToo. Straight men and women spend thousands of dollars every day on relationship coaches, seduction boot camps, and couples therapy in a search for happiness. In The Tragedy of Heterosexuality, Jane Ward smartly explores what, exactly, is wrong with heterosexuality in the twenty-first century, and what straight people can do to fix it for good. She shows how straight women, and to a lesser extent straight men, have tried to mend a fraught patriarchal system in which intimacy, sexual fulfillment, and mutual respect are expected to coexist alongside enduring forms of inequality, alienation, and violence in straight relationships. Ward also takes an intriguing look at the multi-billion-dollar self-help industry, which markets goods and services to help heterosexual couples without addressing the root of their problems. Ultimately, she encourages straight men and women to take a page out of queer culture, reminding them about the human capacity to desire, fuck, and show respect at the same time.
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review
GingerAntics
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There were so many points in this book that were ah-ha moments, and then once I thought about them they shouldn‘t have been. It‘s obvious. We just don‘t think about them because this is what movies, fairytales, and society have sold us - especially women - from birth. This is a real discussion starter.
👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

GingerAntics If the conversations this book starts make you uncomfortable, it‘s time to evaluate why you‘re uncomfortable instead of writing this off as radical or feminist or woke. #JaneWard #TheTragedyOfHeterosexuality #audiobook #discussionstarter 3h
jewright I‘m listening to Jesus and John Wayne right now. I‘m wondering if this book has similar topics. now
9 likes2 comments
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GingerAntics
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GingerAntics
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This seems so obvious, and yet it‘s just not true for A LOT of men. I‘m certainly not saying every man, but the loudest, most vocal, most powerful men certainly. Not to mention all the men who look up to those men as the ideal of manhood and masculinity.
#JaneWard #TheTragedyOfHeterosexuality #men #women #intowomen #forwomen #manhood #masculinity #simple

TheBookHippie A man attaches himself to woman - not to enjoy her, but to enjoy himself.
SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR
2h
GingerAntics @TheBookHippie she was actually comparing heterosexual ideals to queer ones. That in heterosexual culture it‘s about what is most pleasurable to the man, not is pleasurable for the woman, ever. In queer culture it‘s how much pleasure a body can experience. Full stop. She was baffled by a survey where every straight man said sex was over when he came. She said “I can‘t imagine sex with my wife being over just because either of us came.” 🤣😂🤣 2h
GingerAntics @TheBookHippie basically, the whole books can be boiled down to “straight men think they are entitled to sex” and “heterosexuals, are you okay?” 2h
TheBookHippie @GingerAntics exactly. Men think sex is for them. That‘s it. Women are an object to achieve it whether they want it or not. 1h
GingerAntics @TheBookHippie yup! I loved this book. It was just a little snarky, just a little funny, but very poignant and important. now
7 likes5 comments
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GingerAntics
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🎉🥳🍾🎊🎉🥳🍾🎊🎉🥳🍾🎊
#JaneWard #TheTragedyOfHeterosexuality #men #women #queer #lovewomen

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GingerAntics
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Darklunarose That would make sense! 4h
8 likes2 comments
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GingerAntics
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More marriage self help nonsense.
My knee jerk reaction: no wonder men need porn if that‘s what it takes to turn them on. 🙄🥃🥃
#JaneWard #TheTragedyOfHeterossxuality #YouHaveGotToBeKidding #ImNotLyingToYouToTurnYouOn #INeedAStiffDrink #MaleFragility

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GingerAntics
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NICK AT NIGHT NEVER SHOWED THAT!!!
WHAT THE ACTUAL 🤬ING 🤬?! I‘m glad I didn‘t ever get the complete series of I Love Lucy on DVD back when I wanted to. 🙄 🤯🤯🤯
#JaneWard #TheTragedyOfHeterosexuality #TheHoneymooners #ILoveLucy #INoLongerLoveLucy #RickyIsEvil

GingerAntics This book just ruined Who‘s the Boss, too. 🤦🏼‍♀️🥃🤯 6h
Butterfinger McClintock (John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara) was awful. The movie made it seem she fell back in love with him after he "spanked" her with a metal coal shovel(I don't know the name). My parents loved that movie, and I remember saying, not my husband. I also remember thinking-is this why my daddy knocks my mom around? Is this normal? We also watched the Honeymooners. 6h
GingerAntics @Butterfinger oh my god, I am so sorry! No little kid should ever have to ask those questions. It‘s truly disturbing what we put on television and let kids think is normal, or even just question the normalcy of. I swear, I hear there is a spanking scene in something and usually I‘m out. I just can‘t do it. Too much emotional and psychological crap of my own to even try to bring that into entertainment. 4h
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GingerAntics
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WHAT THE ACTUAL FLYING 🤬?!
Sadly, given the state of affairs between men and women these days, I think this has just become the quiet part we don‘t actually say out loud. “Men‘s latent cruelty in courtship and women‘s receptivity to pain and domination as core heterosexual impulses.”
#JaneWard #TheTragedyOfHeterosexuality #eugenics #men #women #disturbing #oddlytrue #stilltrue

GingerAntics The Five Love Languages is a continuation of this theme! I KNEW I hated that book. 6h
5 likes1 comment
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GingerAntics
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GingerAntics @AlaSkaat I‘ll be honest, this shouldn‘t be as mind blowing to me as it was. It‘s so obvious, but it‘s not a thing we think about… because we are taught to NOT think about it. This is why men like women who don‘t think to begin with. 7h
AlaSkaat That‘s so interesting. Is this talking about actually liking women as people? It‘s so true that so many men who love women actually hate women. 7h
GingerAntics @AlaSkaat that is precisely what this book is talking about. 7h
GingerAntics @quietlycuriouskate yeah, when it‘s all laid out, it‘s really obvious and it‘s stunningly troubling. 4h
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GingerAntics
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AlaSkaat I don‘t know 1 relationship that‘s good. With all these people around me, not one has respect, care, mutual trust, friendship… none. And it‘s all normalised. Do you know how many times I complained about something within my relationship and got laughed at? I have every right to complain and they are real problems. This is saddening. 7h
GingerAntics @AlaSkaat same! I haven‘t been in another relationship since my first major one because I don‘t want that again. I‘m attracted to men, but I‘m not convinced that straight men are actually attracted to women. Pass. Hard pass. 6h
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GingerAntics
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How is anyone still saying this to little girls in 2025?! I mean, seriously, this wasn‘t healthy when we were kids, but people my age are now saying this to my generation‘s children! How about we stop this bull sh🤬t!
#JaneWard #TheTragedyOfHeterosexuality #BoysWillBeBoys #GenderPolitics #Outdated #StopTheMadness

AlaSkaat I hate this. Teach your children how to show love instead of allowing them to grow up and abuse women because they don‘t know how else to express it. (Not that they actually love and care for women, but they use the excuse of not knowing how to show their love) so dumb. 7h
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GingerAntics
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These are seriously legit points. I‘d be lying if I hadn‘t noticed these myself.
#JaneWard #TheTragedyOfHeterosexuality #ComplaintsAboutStraightCulture

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GingerAntics
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What straight folks can learn from queer folks (other than style tips - thanks Queer Eye!). Well, here we go.
#JaneWard #TheTragedyOfHeterosexuality #audiobook

review
notreallyelaine
Pickpick

One of the foundational principles of lesbian feminism is that each person‘s desire is their own responsibility, if not something they can choose, at least something they can choose to examine and take ownership of. Two decades before the emergence of what we now call queer theory, lesbian feminists argued for a vision of sexuality as a site of choice and political resistance.

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