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The Lost Family
The Lost Family: How DNA Testing Is Upending Who We Are | Libby Copeland
17 posts | 12 read | 39 to read
A deeply reported look at the rise of home genetic testing and the seismic shock it has had on individual lives You swab your cheek or spit into a vial, then send it away to a lab somewhere. Weeks later you get a report that might tell you where your ancestors came from or if you carry certain genetic risks. Or the report could reveal a long-buried family secret and upend your entire sense of identity. Soon a lark becomes an obsession, an incessant desire to find answers to questions at the core of your being, like Who am I? and Where did I come from? Welcome to the age of home genetic testing. In The Lost Family, journalist Libby Copeland investigates what happens when we embark on a vast social experiment with little understanding of the ramifications. Copeland explores the culture of genealogy buffs, the science of DNA, and the business of companies like Ancestry and 23andMe, all while tracing the story of one woman, her unusual results, and a relentless methodical drive for answers that becomes a thoroughly modern genetic detective story. The Lost Family delves into the many lives that have been irrevocably changed by home DNA testsa technology that represents the end of family secrets. There are the adoptees whove used the tests to find their birth parents; donor-conceived adults who suddenly discover they have more than fifty siblings; hundreds of thousands of Americans who discover their fathers arent biologically related to them, a phenomenon so common it is known as a non-paternity event; and individuals who are left to grapple with their conceptions of race and ethnicity when their true ancestral histories are discovered. Throughout these accounts, Copeland explores the impulse toward genetic essentialism and raises the question of how much our genes should get to tell us about who we are. With more than thirty million people having undergone home DNA testing, the answer to that question is more important than ever. Gripping and masterfully told, The Lost Family is a spectacular book on a big, timely subject.
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Lcsmcat
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Pickpick


While it was a bit repetitive, and the dragging out of Alice‘s story felt gimmicky, this is an interesting look at the consumer DNA market. I have not taken a test due to some of the ethical dilemmas she discusses. But I have at least one 1st cousin who has, so it may be a moot point. There‘s much to think about here for sure.

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bookandbedandtea
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Pickpick

This was interesting. It takes a close look at DNA technology and what it means for people and families. She talks about the good parts but spends a lot of time on people who learn unexpected things and what it means for those people and their families. It also delves into ways DNA can be misused or used in ways people don't expect when they send in their sample.

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Chelsea.Poole
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Pickpick

Narrative nonfiction at its best! I love the way Copeland wove families‘ histories together to illustrate topics of genetic genealogy. What an incredible time we‘re living in: to have the tools find out so much about who/where we came from through DNA. The author does a fantastic job of illustrating the fallout of finding out unknown facts about oneself‘s origin: adoption, incest, unexpected paternity, and so much more.

SamAnne I‘ve been wanting to get to this one! 1y
Clare-Dragonfly Sounds fascinating! I love reading people‘s stories of personal/family discoveries using DNA services. 1y
jlhammar This was so good! Glad you enjoyed it. 1y
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TheKidUpstairs Ooh, this sounds like a good one to read. I loved Dani Shapiro's Inheritance, and earlier this year absolutely ADORED Kyo Maclear's 1y
Chelsea.Poole @SamAnne @Clare-Dragonfly it‘s available on hoopla if your library has access! @jlhammar Yesss, it was so good. I love these types 😊 1y
Chelsea.Poole @TheKidUpstairs it‘s a great read. I also loved Inheritance and I placed a hold on Unearthing, based on your earlier review!! Can‘t wait to get to it 😊 1y
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squirrelbrain
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Pickpick

Such a fascinating book about the rise of consumer DNA testing - the kind of tests that people gift each other without appreciating what the implications could be.

I loved the real-life stories interwoven with the facts, particularly the main story about Alice and her father. Whilst there were some technical parts that went over my head, the discussion of ethics was really interesting (and quite scary!)

Thanks for gifting this to me Meg!

Suet624 It makes me think of the saying “curiosity killed the cat”. 2y
Megabooks So glad you enjoyed it! I‘m thinking about a reread. It really was fascinating! 2y
squirrelbrain Yes, it would definitely stand up to a re read wouldn‘t it? I‘m sure there‘s so much we missed first time around. @Megabooks 2y
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squirrelbrain It certainly puts you off doing such a test @Suet624, although the book explains that there is so much data out there anyway it doesn‘t matter if you‘ve done one or not; you can probably be DNA-traced through relatives, regardless. Scary stuff! 2y
Kitta Did you hear about the serial killer caught through an ancestry DNA testing service? So interesting. And scary they released that data. I‘m a geneticist, so if you have any questions about the science, fire away! 🧬 I did the test myself years ago but I really know the implications/ethics and made an informed decision, also my friends work with the data now. I‘m in the cancer field not human genetics but I know how it works. 2y
LeeRHarry @Kitta yay a fellow geneticist! 😊 I work in human genetics and am reluctant to take this test although would be fascinated to know the results - maybe when I‘m older. Doesn‘t stop me watching all those find your family shows on TV though! 😏 2y
Kitta @LeeRHarry yay fellow geneticist! 😀 I get the reluctance, especially not knowing the impact it‘ll have on my future, I worry and wonder if I made the right choice, but I can‘t take back the decision so I try not to stress. The results were really interesting, it predicted the region my grandmother came from on the boarder between Romania and Ukraine! The traits were pretty accurate too. And I also love those tv shows too 😂 2y
squirrelbrain Hello you geneticists! 👋 @Kitta @LeeRHarry There was a little bit in the book about the serial killer being caught, and about the ethics of releasing the data. Interesting that you both have different views on taking the test(or not!). 2y
Kitta @LeeRHarry I think where you took the test matters too, I did it when I lived in the UK and since they have the NHS it‘s not going to be used to determine insurance prices or anything like it might be in the US. They can‘t charge you more personally but there‘s a fear they can make coverage more expensive in your zip code if a lot of people require those services. It‘s scary and complicated. Also the US health system is crazy. (I live there now.) 2y
LeeRHarry @Kitta I‘m in Australia and I‘m not sure where the tests from here get done, at one point they were done in the US. I have heard of people here hearing from distant relatives and one person found out that her great grandparent had another family 😳 I‘m sure you can be stricter with parameters these days. 2y
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squirrelbrain
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Thought I‘d post a picture of the 2 Friday night books I‘m about to start, but got photobombed by Henry!

Anyhow, going for 1 fiction (a #buddyread with the lovely @Caroline2 ) and 1 NF, a gift from the equally lovely @Megabooks !

TrishB Enjoy ❤️ I started one an hour ago that I‘m not liking so starting to look for something else. 2y
BkClubCare Yay Henry! 2y
squirrelbrain Oh no, that‘s a bit rubbish! @TrishB Do you have any more books to choose from?! 🤣 2y
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TrishB Might be able to find some 😁 2y
Megabooks Have a great Friday night! Has anyone told Henry he‘s too big to be a lap dog? 🤫😉😘 2y
BarbaraBB That is a great photo of Henry! Enjoy both books! 2y
squirrelbrain We do try to tell him @Megabooks but he doesn‘t listen…! 🤣 2y
batsy He's quite right, he should be in all the photos ... So handsome! 😆🥰 2y
squirrelbrain Aw thanks @batsy! 2y
Caroline2 Oh that‘s a good looking stack and books ya got there!! 😆 2y
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squirrelbrain
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Meg! @Megabooks Look what just arrived!

I definitely recall your review of this one, and mentally making a note that it sounded right up my street, so thank you so much! I think Cindy @Cinfhen may have read it too, probably based on your recommendation as well?

It‘s a wonder any of us get *any* book ideas now from anywhere else other than you; you‘re so good at picking great books!

Henry says hi to Molly! I‘ll email you over the weekend. 😘

Megabooks Awww!! Henry looks so cute!! Molly says hi back! She‘s napping because she got her yearly vaccines yesterday. There is another nonfiction book coming as well. 💜👍🏻 I figured you‘re due for some nonfiction after you finish the Booker longlist! I hope you enjoy this as much as Cindy and I did. 🙌🏻 2y
batsy Henry looks so attentive 😁😍 2y
JamieArc This would be a great follow up after listening to the tagged. Stacking this one. 2y
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AmyG Ha! Agree with you about @Megabooks ….if she really likes a book, I auto stack it. (edited) 2y
squirrelbrain Hope Molly isn‘t too affected by her vaccines @Megabooks I‘m looking forward to another book! 😁 2y
squirrelbrain @batsy - it doesn‘t happen often! 2y
squirrelbrain I saw an article about that one in the UK press only a week or two ago @JamieArc - also sounds fascinating! 2y
Megabooks Helen and @AmyG thank you!! 💕 I‘m so flattered that you value my recommendations! I enjoy writing reviews, especially if I‘ve really enjoyed a book and want to share it with others. (But the disastrous ones are fun to write too! 🤣🤣🤣) 2y
Cinfhen I did enjoy this one and the tagged book @JamieArc sounds great!!! @Megabooks reviewed and liked that one too!! 2y
JamieArc @Cinfhen I moved it up my TBR after @Megabooks reviewed it 😊. It was a good listen. @squirrelbrain (edited) 2y
jlhammar I thought this was a great read! Hope you enjoy. 2y
Megabooks @JamieArc I‘m glad you enjoyed Normal Family and I think you should keep an 👀 out for it @Cinfhen ! One of the most original memoirs this year so far. 👍🏻👍🏻 2y
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review
GirlNamedJesse
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Pickpick

As our family‘s genealogist I am fascinated by all of this. Copeland weaves multiple mysteries throughout this history of DNA tests and kept me captivated the entire time. I have so many ideas of ways I want to research now, but I‘ll have to successfully complete a DNA test first (I‘ve failed five. 👽) A fascinating read!

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GirlNamedJesse
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As someone who has failed five (yes, FIVE) Ancestry DNA tests, this is both fascinating and frustrating. I‘ve been our family‘s genealogist for over a decade and I‘m the only one who doesn‘t have their DNA results. 😂 But I love stories of people who discover something unexpected in their DNA, and the history included adds another layer to the experience.

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BarbaraTheBibliophage
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Pickpick

This was a strong pick for me. I love the process of genealogy research. But adding DNA testing to the process does create conflict and confusion for some folks. Copeland offers an unvarnished look at both ups and downs of getting tested. The true stories she tells are compelling. There‘s so much relevance to 21st century life here.

p.s. Yes, that IS my Ancestry family tree in the background.

#nonfiction2022 #outofyourcomfortzone

jlhammar Agreed, this was a good one! So fascinating. 3y
Prairiegirl_reading Just checked and it‘s included in audible! Sounds fascinating! I just finished inheritance last month. 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @Prairiegirl_reading Yea, it is. I read the ebook but had the audio queued up just in case. It‘s a great pair with 3y
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jlhammar @Prairiegirl_reading I loved Inheritance! I think you're going to enjoy The Lost Family. I am really excited for and preordered this one. 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @jlhammar LOL I preordered that one also. I think it drops next week, right? That‘s one of the reasons I pushed The Lost Family to the top of my TBR. 3y
jlhammar @BarbaraTheBibliophage Yes, I think so! That is too funny. It is such an interesting topic though (to me anyhow). Hope we like it! I read and really enjoyed this one about a journalist digging into his family history/secrets. Not DNA-specific, but it might be one you'd like if you haven't tried it yet. 3y
Prairiegirl_reading @jlhammar that one sounds awesome too!!! Thanks for the heads up! 3y
Prairiegirl_reading @jlhammar this one sounds fascinating too!! And now we know why genealogy is such a huge business right!!?? So interesting! 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @jlhammar Oooh. That sounds fascinating. Families did this stuff so much in the early to middle 20th century. And obviously before that also. Terribly sad. Have you listened to Dani Shapiro‘s podcast called Family Secrets? Also very fascinating. 3y
jlhammar Yes, love Family Secrets! Great podcast. 3y
Amiable As a fellow amateur genealogist, I enjoyed this book, too. I'm stacking “Ancestor Trouble,“ -- thanks for the recommendation, @jlhammar ! I second the “Family Secrets“ podcast -- I've been listening to it since I read “Inheritance.“ Shapiro has such a soothing voice, too! 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @Amiable @jlhammar I think I‘ll be putting down my 💤 read when I receive Ancestor Trouble. I‘m excited. Here‘s my current read - it‘s good but slow to read. 3y
Amiable @BarbaraTheBibliophage I‘m going to have to find that book —I have a fair amount of Irish heritage on my mother‘s side. 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @Amiable It‘s pretty old, so the focus is more on mitochondrial DNA and Y-DNA. But that‘s foundational stuff, so it‘s okay. Not sure if he will get into autosomal DNA. So far it‘s more science and less history. That‘s what I wanted but it is DRY. 3y
ncsufoxes This one sounds interesting, my first degree is in history, so I love learning about genealogy. My husband is also a geneticist (although he‘s an oncology researcher), he‘s adopted so he grapples a lot with wanting to know more about his family‘s medical history without knowing his biological family. And as a geneticist knowing all of the intricacies of testing & so on. 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @ncsufoxes Yes, it sounds like you both would appreciate and enjoy this book! If you have Audible Plus, it‘s included in the catalog. 3y
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review
Cinfhen
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Pickpick

Really fascinating!!! This book delves into the ethics, science, and host of unexpected outcomes one might not think about when they open Pandora‘s box (kit) of DNA home testing. I would love to discuss this with a bookclub. I appreciated that the author included personal narratives. I found Alice‘s story particularly compelling. Second book from @MallenNC #NYWD list 💖 Will use for #Booked2022 #WrittenByAJournalist and #NF22 #OutOfLeftField

squirrelbrain Sounds fab - stacked! 3y
keepingupwiththepenguins Oooh, this sounds fascinating!! 3y
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Cinfhen I really think your scientific brain will like this one @squirrelbrain it‘s BEYOND fascinating @keepingupwiththepenguins SO MUCH to think about 🤓 3y
alisiakae Oooh, stacking! This sounds like a book I would really enjoy discussing. I still sometimes can‘t believe that a little DNA test solved so many mysteries for me, even though that was the whole point of me taking a 🧬 test! 3y
monalyisha Thinking about using an Audible credit for this. It does sound interesting! How was the reader? 3y
Cortg I‘m adding this to my TBR! Genetics is interesting and I want to learn more. My youngest wants to do genetic research when she finishes her schooling, more like studying blood disorders, but genetics in general is fascinating. Thanks! 3y
Cortg A friend found out she had a half brother and nephews after taking a test and said there‘s no denying him, he‘s a spitting image of her dad who had passed. Her mom remembers his mom from a relationship before he joined the military and deployed. So interesting. 3y
jlhammar Totally agree. So fascinating! 3y
Cinfhen It‘s free on #AudiblePlus @monalyisha and the reader was very pleasant/ easy to follow (edited) 3y
Cinfhen I didn‘t realize that‘s how you found your sister @4thhouseontheleft I think you‘d find this book interesting as someone who went through the process. The author does a really good job describing the 3 types of seekers. The serious family historian, who‘s looking for family roots, the person who has gaps in their personal history ( ie adopted) and is seeking medical or identity answers and then the causal seeker who thinks, why not spit & see 3y
Cinfhen That‘s crazy @Cortg did the family embrace the discovery or did it throw their lives into turmoil?? This book covers lots of different reactions and ways different families and family members handled the discoveries they weren‘t actually anticipating 3y
Cinfhen It‘s a lot to consider @jlhammar because by sharing your DNA you are effectively sharing other family members DNA as well without their knowledge or consent (edited) 3y
Cortg @Cinfhen They accepted him. He lives in Florida, they‘re in Pa/Ct. When her dad left and they broken up, she found she was pregnant and just never told him. He met their mom and had their little family, no one knowing until she got a call from him after they had both done the DNA kit. Kinda crazy but kinda cool as well. 3y
Cinfhen Nice that they had a happy ending @Cortg unfortunately not every story ends that way💔 3y
MallenNC I‘m so glad you enjoyed this one. I listened to it too, and really liked the narrator. I enjoyed the personal stories most but the science and the legal issues were also very interesting. 3y
Cinfhen Definitely @MallenNC so much to consider/ I loved the ethics component 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage I didn‘t know this was in Audible Plus. Just downloaded! I have the Kindle but just haven‘t gotten to it. We found a new cousin on my mom‘s side through DNA tests. I met her in October for the first time and we had so much fun! 3y
Cinfhen So nice that you discovered a cousin @BarbaraTheBibliophage 💖 3y
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Cinfhen
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#AudioFolding Super fascinating look at the massively popular home DNA testing kits. This would make for a great bookclub choice. I‘m enjoying the personal stories more than the scientific jargon, although Copeland is doing a good job of keeping the information simple enough. Another book I own but needed the push from my #NYWD partner @MallenNC to finally pick it up.

monalyisha This looks great! And I love your tag. 😅 3y
Cinfhen It‘s kind of nuts what people discover from a simple spit inside a tube @monalyisha 3y
MallenNC This was so fascinating. I have talked about it so much since I read it. 3y
Megabooks I thought you‘d enjoy this! 3y
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MallenNC
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#WonderousWednesday

1. London, UK; Montreal/Quebec City, Canada; and Thun, Switzerland
2. Reading!
3. The Lost Family by Libby Copeland (tagged)
4. Question 1 makes me grateful for the travel opportunities I‘ve had!

@Eggs

review
MallenNC
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Pickpick

If you‘ve ever watched an Ancestry.com ad and wondered what your test might find, this book makes you ask if you really want to know. The main narrative thread is about Alice, who finds something surprising in her results. Along with stories of other surprises, the book also has chapters are about the history of DNA tests, the ethical issues surrounding these tests, what ethnicity really is, and more. I‘ll be thinking about this for a while.

Megabooks Love this review and so glad you enjoyed the book! I‘m really glad this was in audible plus. I hope they continue to improve their titles. 👍🏻👍🏻 3y
MallenNC @Megabooks I hope so too. I probably wouldn‘t have heard of this book if you hadn‘t posted about it and having it on Audible Plus made it easy for me to go ahead and listen. It‘s definitely a good benefit to membership. 3y
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MallenNC
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My Lunchtime listen! I‘m so glad @Megabooks posted about this one so I could grab it from the Audible Plus catalog. I don‘t know that I‘d have sought this title out but it is fascinating.

Megabooks So glad you‘re enjoying it! 3y
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Megabooks
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Pickpick

Copeland takes a look at the home genetic test kit industry. She looks at aspects from ethics to privacy practices to finding birth families to research to what happens when a person finds out a startling truth about their family. On this last point, throughout the book she looks at a woman and her siblings who find out their father isn‘t who HE thought he was. Some amazing sleuthing with that one! Really enjoyed this #AudiblePlus title!

suvata Sounds interesting 3y
TravelsWithBooks A family friend found out crazy stuff through her testing. Mine was what I expected. (edited) 3y
Rissa1 My Dad had a half brother that found him. 3y
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Megabooks @suvata it really was! 3y
Megabooks @TravelsWithBooks I have not done it yet, mainly due to the privacy concerns she outlines, but I find the whole thing fascinating! 3y
Megabooks @Rissa1 wow. I hope the situation turned out okay for him. 3y
Rissa1 My dad also has the brother and 2 sisters he was raised with. For my dad and his 2 sisters it is fine they speak to and have met with the half brother. My uncle wants nothing to do with the half brother. For some reason he cannot handle my grandfather having had an affair and producing a child. 3y
MallenNC Sounds so interesting! I just added it to my library. It seems like these plus title options are getting better. (edited) 3y
Megabooks @Rissa1 the author discussed that in the book. How genetic testing can cause different reactions within families. I‘m glad your dad is able to have a relationship with his half brother. 3y
Megabooks @MallenNC they seem to be, and that definitely excites me! 3y
MallenNC @Megabooks Me too. If they keep having good titles, it will definitely add value to the membership 3y
Cinfhen I just wrote you the LONGEST email and it wouldn‘t go through because I added too many photos 😭😭😭😭😭ugh!!! I‘ll have to try again later as I lost the draft 3y
Reggie Oof I read this crazy unpublished story by an amateur writer where this woman gives all of her son‘s 13th birthday party attendees a 23 and Me kit and one of the fathers realizes his kid isn‘t his. It was intense. 3y
Megabooks @Cinfhen oh no!!!!!!! I am so sorry!!!! Is it not in your drafts folder??? That is so frustrating!!! 💕💜💕💜💕💜💕 (edited) 3y
Megabooks @Reggie yikes! That would be intense and a very strange gift. Aren‘t they fairly expensive, too? 🤔 3y
Cinfhen No!!!!!!! I‘m so annoyed!!! And then I wrote a whole NetGalley review and lost that too!!!!! 3y
Megabooks @Cinfhen technology is ridiculous!!!! 👎🏻👎🏻 I have days like that, too, when it seems my device/the internet is out to get me. Not fun!!! 3y
Cinfhen Exactly!! Now I‘m taking a break and trying to get myself out of a rut. I‘m just feeling bleh. I think part of it is my new lenses….im still adjusting to the new prescription which is stronger and giving me headaches 3y
Cinfhen I‘ll try again, later xx 💋 3y
Megabooks @Cinfhen 🤗🤗😘😘 3y
Centique I did the ancestry test kit a few years ago. My half sisters are tracing their mother‘s family, (their mother died when they were small and there was no family contact) and having my data in there helps them to rule out who‘s related to them through my dad. I hadn‘t thought about the privacy side at the time - but oh well it‘s done now! I did find a lovely second cousin on my mother‘s side who gave me some ancestry research she had done 😍 3y
Megabooks @Centique that is very lovely! The privacy laws surrounding ancestry may be different in NZ than US. The book talked about how they were having trouble breaking into EU markets due to increased privacy controls. 3y
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review
Amiable
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Pickpick

A fascinating look at the science of using DNA in genealogy research, and what it means to discover the genes you‘ve inherited. What makes us unique? How does knowing our ancestral heritage affect our cultural identity —and should it? And did you really think about the can of worms you might open when you spit into that tube and mailed it away? A great read if you are a genealogy nerd like me.

8little_paws this sounds really interesting. I have not done any of these testing things. 4y
Amiable @TheKidUpstairs Absolutely-- that one is an excellent read, too! I was lucky to attend an author event with Dani Shapiro in the months before the pandemic. Her story is fascinating and she tells it well. I would recommend the audiobook, too -- she has a soothing voice that is easy to listen to. 4y
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