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Far From the Tree
Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity | Andrew Solomon
A Scribner Classics edition of Andrew Solomons bestselling masterpiece, winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award, The Dayton Peace Prize, and one of The New York Times Book Reviews Ten Best Books of 2012a brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity (People).Andrew Solomons startling proposition in Far From the Tree is that being exceptional is at the core of the human conditionthat difference is what unites us. He writes about families coping with deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, or multiple severe disabilities; with children who are prodigies, who are conceived in rape, who become criminals, who are transgender. While each of these characteristics is potentially isolating, the experience of difference within families is universal, and Solomon documents triumphs of love over prejudice in every chapter. All parenting turns on a crucial question: to what extent should parents accept their children for who they are, and to what extent they should help them become their best selves. Drawing on ten years of research and interviews with more than three hundred families, Solomon mines the eloquence of ordinary people facing extreme challenges. Elegantly reported by a spectacularly original and compassionate thinker, Far From the Tree explores how people who love each other must struggle to accept each othera theme in every familys life. The New York Times calls it a wise and beautiful volume, that will shake up your preconceptions and leave you in a better place.
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review
Nathan_Opland-Dobs
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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Mehso-so

👼🏼

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TheRiehlDeal
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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📕 Tagged (TBR), Five Days at Memorial (TBR), The First Day of Spring (TBR)
✍️ Gillian Flynn and Ken Follet (TBR)
🎥 Fight Club, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Finding Nemo
🎸 Flyleaf and Future Palace
🎵 Faint (Linkin Park), Fall for Me (Sleep Token), Feels Like Tonight (Daughtry), Fully Alive (Flyleaf)

#manicmonday
@CBee

CBee Thanks for playing 😊😊 2y
19 likes1 comment
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Hestapleton
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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Catching up again! #curiouscovers #littenlisten
Hoping my migraine doesn‘t stop me from getting some audiobooks in today.

Eggs Aww I hope the migraine lifts for you soon 🥴 4y
ShyBookOwl My migraine cocktail: 1/2 tsp of ginger powder dissolved in water, a dark room, and an audiobook 😊 hope you're feeling better soon 4y
Hestapleton @ShyBookOwl going to try the ginger powder and water right now! 4y
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ShyBookOwl @Hestapleton good luck! I hope it helps 4y
Hestapleton @ShyBookOwl WHAT A GAMECHANGER OMG 4y
ShyBookOwl @Hestapleton 🎉🎉🎉 so glad it helped! 4y
52 likes6 comments
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Amiable
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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The chunkster love is contagious! Thanks for being inspired to hop on the challenge train and complete this fantastic book, Meg!

@megabooks
#chunksterchallenge2021

Lcsmcat Congratulations @megabooks! 4y
Megabooks Thank you!! I‘m screenshotting this I love it so much! 💜 4y
Megabooks @Lcsmcat Thank you!! 4y
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GinaKButler @Megabooks Woo-hoo!! Congrats! 4y
Mollyanna Woohoo! Congrats @Megabooks 🥳🥳🥳 4y
Amiable @Megabooks That sense of accomplishment feels so good, doesn‘t it? 4y
Megabooks @GinaKButler Thank you!! 👍🏻 4y
Megabooks @Mollyanna Thank you!! 😁😁 4y
Megabooks @Amiable Yes! This is my second longest audiobook! (The longest was Ducks, Newburyport last year.) 4y
Texreader Congrats @Megabooks ! Being immersed in my own chunkster I know what a huge achievement this is! Way to go!! 4y
Megabooks @Texreader thank you!! I hope you‘re enjoying yours as much as I enjoyed this. 😁👍🏻 4y
Freespirit Well done @Megabooks 😘👍🏼 4y
Megabooks @Freespirit Thank you! 💜😁 4y
BarkingMadRead Congrats!! 4y
rockpools Wow, that‘s EPIC! 😘 4y
Bookwormjillk Congratulations 🍾🎈🎊🎉 4y
Ash.on.the.line Congrats! 🎉🎉 4y
erzascarletbookgasm Congrats!! 4y
Megabooks @BarkingMadRun @rockpools @Bookwormjillk @Ash.on.the.line @erzascarletbookgasm thank y‘all so much!! 💜💜 it feels really good! 4y
50 likes19 comments
review
Megabooks
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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Pickpick

The subtitle of this book says it all. This is a book about the search for identity. Peppered with interviews of families as well as stats & citations, Solomon looks at what it‘s like for parents to raise a child that is fundamentally different from them, like one with Downs Syndrome. He does talk to a few where the parents have the same condition in chapters on dwarfism and deafness and non-hereditary conditions like being the child of rape. ⬇️

Megabooks ⬆️ Even when I didn‘t agree with Solomon, this #audiobook was endlessly fascinating and has given me a lot to think about. For further insights, look at my four longer previous posts. #ChunksterChallenge @Amiable The book is 962 pages and 40 hours 37 minutes on audio. I‘m really glad I decided to go for it! (edited) 4y
Cathythoughts I love this title 👌🏻❤️ 4y
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youneverarrived I‘ve loved reading your updates on this Meg 🤍 it sounds like such an informative and interesting read. 4y
BarbaraBB I‘ve loved your updates. This seems a hard but important book. 4y
Redwritinghood I just watched the documentary made based on this book. Definitely worth a watch. It‘s on Hulu. 4y
Megabooks @youneverarrived thank you! It really was. 4y
Megabooks @BarbaraBB that definitely describes it. Thank you! 4y
Megabooks @Redwritinghood I do have Hulu! Once I get some distance from the book, I‘ll watch it. 👍🏻 4y
Cinfhen Well done, Meg!! #LiveAndLearn 🤓I need to figure out how to get Hulu to work overseas @Redwritinghood I think I‘d do better with the documentary than 40 hours of audio 🤪 4y
Megabooks @Cinfhen I don‘t think it‘s something I could usually do, especially how dense the material was, but I‘m glad I took on the challenge this time! 4y
Cinfhen Your brain is definitely more analytical!! I‘m glad you broke it up into summaries / I feel like I read the cliff notes xxxx 4y
FelinesAndFelonies Wow! I think it's amazing you stuck with such a long book on such challenging material! Well done! 4y
Megabooks @FelinesAndFelonies just saw this! Thank you! I was surprised how easily it flew by. Despite the length, the stories and the human connections move it along really well. 4y
Amiable This book was definitely way more interesting and engaging than you might expect — I loved it , too! 4y
Megabooks @Amiable Agreed!! 4y
Megabooks I forgot to tag this for #EastTimor #ReadingAsia2021. He spends time with a community with high hereditary deafness that have built their own sign language. @BarbaraBB @Librarybelle 4y
Librarybelle Nice catch for #ReadingAsia2021 ! 4y
66 likes19 comments
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Megabooks
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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The chapter on babies conceived from rape was difficult to read. He brought up an excellent, if sad, point that in this age of genetic determinism, how are these kids thought of? So many mothers struggled to love their children while others had to fight their rapists for custody, which is f***ing ridiculous. Often there were cycles of sexual abuse.

The social services that are there in other situations aren‘t available for juvenile offenders. ⬇️

Megabooks ⬆️ Kids are often diverted into adult systems, and there is a lot of racism inherent in how these children are treated. He discussed how community intervention and even prenatal visits to families that have risk factors for childhood difficulties can make a huge difference later in life. That whole ounce of prevention thing! ⬇️ 4y
Megabooks ⬆️ There is more information in the public about transgender adults & children. Not yet as much about non-binary, but it‘s coming. Still there is a lot of prejudice in many communities, and I think this is a place where there is constant evolution in society now that will have a (hopefully) positive effect on lives. I was shocked to find out that the homicide rate is the same for transgender women in high gun owning countries as low owning ones ⬇️ (edited) 4y
Megabooks ⬆️ I have finished the book now and will be writing a review later today. I hope people have found my little summaries interesting and, like me, will do further research into these topics or consider reading the book. (End) 4y
See All 7 Comments
Kalalalatja I thought I had found the audio, but the one on my streaming service is only 1 minute long, so I‘m guessing that‘s not quite right 😅 looking forward to your review! 4y
Cinfhen Wow!!! You finished that audio quickly 🙌🏻❤️I LOVED your summaries and insightful comments 4y
Megabooks @Cinfhen you know me, always listening!! 🎧 4y
Megabooks @Kalalalatja no, that‘s probably a sample unfortunately!! 😂👎🏻 4y
63 likes7 comments
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Megabooks
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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The chapter on multi-system disability was hard to read. The families he profiled had children that will not have more abilities than a toddler. These challenges were my own worst fear of parenthood, so it was a lot to read. I took a break between that and prodigies because I thought, how could being a prodigy be as bad as that. And despite his 4-hour argument that being a prodigy is THAT BAD, I still don‘t believe it. Continued (1/2) ⬇️

Megabooks ⬆️ Solomon looked at musical prodigies. He posits that because America is an anti-intellectual society where we‘d rather have a beer with someone than be cowed by their intellect. He also made a good point that well rounded children and school systems that teach to the average student don‘t provide opportunities to unearth prodigies. Still, even with some examples, not buying his argument. (End) (edited) 4y
mcctrish I‘ve been reading this book for a long while ( it‘s one of my brother in laws favourite books and I really like my brother in law) but I have so many issues with it. I just start VI : schizophrenia 4y
vivastory I'm a Health Coordinator for IDD population & to equate the challenges of a prodigy & someone with IDD is ridiculous. Everyone faces challenges, but that is just absurd. 4y
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Cinfhen I love that you‘re still plodding through/ I‘m loving your chapter summaries 🙌🏻but I have to agree with @vivastory that comparison seems poorly drawn out😞I understand that prodigies have some sort of social isolation and unique challenges but it‘s not like someone with IDD 4y
Cinfhen Thanks for sharing / makes me feel like I‘m reading alongside you xx 4y
Megabooks @mcctrish I have some issues with it too, and I certainly don‘t agree with all his arguments, especially this one, but I find the individual stories very compelling. I find his arguments to bye well articulated for the most part, which I respect. I‘m in the rape chapter right now, and I‘ve noticed an inclusion bias of female children of rape victims. I‘m not sure why he did that. 4y
Megabooks @mcctrish Even with how long it is. I still have so many questions. Often I use books like this as a starting point to form my own opinions, which I think is positive. 4y
Megabooks @vivastory Totally agree. I was just shocked. It‘s like comparing a broken finger to a concussion. I feel bad for the prodigies that are negatively pushed, but they still have a shot at life that someone with IDD will never be afforded. I find the comparison insulting. 4y
Megabooks @Cinfhen Thanks! I‘m glad you‘re enjoying them. It‘s so hard to summarize the deluge of information and stories. Each is fascinating in its own way, but like I said to @mcctrish there are big and small points I don‘t agree with him on, but I like having something to jump off of to read more and be able to form my own coherent opinions eventually. It is a very fascinating book!! 4y
Kalalalatja It all sounds so fascinating from your summaries! But without having read it, I completely agree, you can‘t compare IDD with being a prodigy. Everyone has challenges but that one seems far fetched (edited) 4y
Megabooks @Kalalalatja definitely a very specious argument!! 4y
Megabooks @Kalalalatja and I‘m glad you‘re enjoying the summaries. I think as a psychologist, you‘d find this interesting. 4y
Kalalalatja I‘m definitely looking for this, but I‘ll have to be audio, I don‘t think I will get through it otherwise 😅 but thanks for putting it on my radar! 4y
mcctrish Well I‘m going to pick it back up again when I finish The Warmth of Other Suns, once upon a time I was going to read it in a year- a chapter a month - time to back on that plan 4y
74 likes14 comments
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Megabooks
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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It‘s been incredibly moving hearing so many individual families struggling with Downs Syndrome, autism, and schizophrenia.

There is a lot more understanding of DS now. There has been a movement towards home care of children and strong early intervention programs, which seems to make a difference later in life. People living with DS may be easier to care for than chaotic disorders like autism or schizophrenia. ⬇️ (several comments below)

Megabooks There is controversy over mainstreaming in schools. Other gene loci than the trisomy may play a role in severity. ⬇️ continued 4y
Megabooks Autism, in some ways, is the exact opposite of DS. Also diagnosed in very early childhood, some autistics have trouble expressing love but are often very intelligent and can‘t express that. They experience constant sensory overload. There are gene loci all over the chromosomes for autism, so it is very difficult to pin down a cause. There are a lot of people pushing quack cures and unproven causes because of this. Each case is very unique. ⬇️ cont (edited) 4y
Megabooks Schizophrenia is diagnosed much later than DS or autism, often when the person is 18-30 or older. Unlike autistics, people with schizophrenia have a dearth of synaptic connections. There is some evidence of maternal viral infections during pregnancy increasing risk. (🤞🏻 That Covid infection is not found to be a risk factor eventually.) Therapy can help in the early stages, but most people will need antipsychotics eventually, ⬇️ continued 4y
Megabooks ⬆️ although they may not work or have severe side effects. There is a controversial diagnosis of psychosis risk syndrome that may help pinpoint potential cases earlier. (End) 4y
Megabooks *️⃣*️⃣ Additional note: this book is littered with personal stories from people and their families. It is not an impersonal book at all, but it would be difficult to express in any abbreviated space all of that. *️⃣*️⃣ 4y
75 likes5 comments
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Megabooks
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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I‘ve decided to do periodic updates, as I couldn‘t capture a book this complex in a single review! The author got the idea of writing a book about parents raising children with major differences from being gay raised by straight parents.

I‘ve finished the introduction and the chapters of being deaf and having dwarfism. They both have some similarities in that the conditions in the wider world can be socially isolating, and some have family ⬇️

Megabooks ⬆️ members with and without the condition. The major difference is that there is a mainstream cure for deafness (cochlear implants) and not for dwarfism. (Limb lengthening is not as common.) This means the Deaf community is getting smaller faster. There is a lot of controversy over the implants, especially in young children. I was surprised how upset some parents were initially after being informed of a child‘s dwarfism, (edited) 4y
Megabooks ⬆️ especially if they are the first in the family. This is perhaps because of all the little people-positive tv I‘ve watched. Representation definitely matters! 4y
Cinfhen Is this book overly academic??? I don‘t think I could manage the hours and pages 4y
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Megabooks ⬆️ Human Growth Hormone can be used for some types of dwarfism to increase height. It is also used by families that may have shorter than average children without diagnosed dwarfism. (edited) 4y
Megabooks @Cinfhen I don‘t find it to be, but I have a higher tolerance for that than you. It‘s kind of like any other extended piece of journalism, but it‘s just really extended!! 4y
Cinfhen That‘s a mild understatement 😂 4y
AmyG @cinfhen This is an excellent book. But I think, if you wanted to read it, you could read a section and put it down for a while. (edited) 4y
Cinfhen Thanks @AmyG but I don‘t think it‘s gonna make my TBR stack anytime soon #PageCountPhobia 😬 4y
Chelsea.Poole I watched the film based on this book. So good! 4y
Megabooks @Chelsea.Poole I do remember seeing that on Hulu I think now that you mention it! 4y
78 likes3 stack adds10 comments
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Megabooks
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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My updated #bookspinbingo card! Only four spots left. 🥳 (Review of I‘ll Tell You in Person to come.) I‘m thinking of using my last free space for the tagged #audiobook. I just picked it up at the Audible sale, but it‘s over 40 hours! 🤓 I‘ve listened to one other that long before (Ducks, Newburyport), and I think I‘m ready to take on the challenge again!

Megabooks @Amiable can I join the #chunksterchallenge2021 with this one? It‘s 962 pages (40 hours 37 minutes audio). 4y
Cinfhen I haven‘t checked out the sale yet!! What else did u pick up??? 4y
Cinfhen And that DEFINITELY qualifies as a chunkster 🙌🏻♥️😅 4y
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Megabooks @Cinfhen It‘s 2 for 1 on famous authors. I also got this one, which despite being YA, I‘d been eyeing since it came out. 4y
Megabooks @Cinfhen Yeah, it‘s definitely a chunkster!! Every half hour is only 1.2% of the book!! 4y
Cinfhen I‘ll have to go look 👀 4y
Amiable @Megabooks Absolutely! And I loved this book! 4y
Megabooks @Amiable fantastic!! And yes, I‘m a bit over an hour in and loving it! 4y
TheAromaofBooks Yay!! Looking fantastic!! 4y
62 likes1 stack add10 comments
review
HeatherBookNerd
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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Pickpick

Terrible cover, fantastic book. After a decade of research and interviews with hundreds of families, Solomon shares his findings on the lives of parents who are caring for a variety of exceptional children. Some parents are undone by the challenges, and others find great depths of love and purpose in parenting their unique children. Solomon writes with startling honesty and keen insight, blending personal stories and fascinating research. So good.

GingerAntics That is an oddly creepy cover. I‘d love to meet the person who looked at this design and said, “yup, that‘s the one!” It almost looks like the baby is falling. The book sounds really interesting, though. I‘m going to have to go find it now. 4y
CoffeeK8 This was a very powerful book, but agreed about the cover 4y
33 likes2 comments
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HeatherBookNerd
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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This book is fantastic. This is one of the best first paragraphs of a book ever. Solomon is such an honest, keen observer and his writing is just marvelous.

Suet624 Wow! That's stunning. I have to think about this. 4y
HeatherBookNerd @Suet624 that sounds a bit heavy, and some of the book does indeed put forth the very real challenges of parenting children with incredible needs and differences. But it also shows the ways that parents have found meaning and surprised even themselves with the bonds they form with their children in ways they never dreamed of. It‘s totally fascinating. 4y
Reggie @HeatherBookNerd @Suet624 Comedienne Tig Notaro does this Moth story where she talks about how rough her relationship with her stepfather was growing up. And later on after her mother dies and it‘s just him and her and her brother. When they‘re adults he apologizes to her saying how he should have let her inform him who she was as a person instead of him trying to change who she was. I‘m butchering it but it was very powerful. 4y
HeatherBookNerd @Reggie I‘ve heard Tig Notaro on the Moth. Yes, very good. 4y
22 likes4 comments
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CoffeeK8
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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Far from the Tree: parents search
Tana French
Footloose
Aretha Franklin
Free Fallin' #manicmonday #LetterF

JoScho 💙💙💙 5y
36 likes1 comment
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Amiable
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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Day 23 of #adventrecommends One of my favorite nonfiction reads. It includes chapters on deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, disability, prodigies, transgender identity, children who are conceived during a rape and those who become criminals. Each chapter includes children & their parents struggling with identity & interweaves individual families‘ tales with wider meditations on science, medicine, psychology, and philosophy.

mcctrish I started this ages ago and find it a bit of a slog 5y
Amiable @mcctrish It‘s too long to really read straight through —I found it easier to take it a chapter at a time like a book of short stories, almost. 5y
52 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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Amiable
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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#7Days7Covers #CoverCrush
Day 6

7 covers you love, one a day for 7 days. No explanations. Tag a different Litten each day.

@LapReader , would you like to play?

AmyG An amazing book. I am such a fan of Andrew Solomon. 5y
Amiable @AmyG It really was —for such a hefty book, the pages just flew by. I was mesmerized. 5y
61 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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HotMessJess
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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The amount of self control I have when I walk into a book store.

What is zero, Alex?

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Wife
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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I had no intention of buying a book for myself and was shopping for bookish goodies. Three feet inside the door and I was drawn to the tagged book in the bargain section. At page 4, and I‘m already loving it. A couple books for the husband, and some gifts, and I got the last set of Pride & Prejudice pencils! SchulersBooks is worth 1 1/2 hour drive.

MelissaS I loved Ivan! Nice haul! 6y
Wife @Melissas 🦍🐘for my grandson. ❤️ 6y
Lmstraubie This one 💖💖💖 6y
BiblioLitten Cool haul💞 6y
85 likes4 comments
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Decalino
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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Pickpick

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit I didn't finish this book. I made it to page 640, but it's just really, really long and it was slowing down my fiction reading. Now that it's due at the library with no renewals left, it feels like time to let it go. It was a fascinating book, though: a look at families where the child differs dramatically from the parents. I'm going with "pick" rather than "bail"--the 640 pages were good!

9 likes1 stack add
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Skyler
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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A mélange of orange for today's theme.

#riotgrams #orangecovers

MrBook 😁👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 7y
britt_brooke Great photo! 7y
13 likes1 stack add2 comments
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RealBooks4ever
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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[Solomon] "writes about families coping with deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, multiple severe disabilities, with children who are prodigies, who are conceived in rape, who become criminals, who are transgender. While each of these characteristics is potentially isolating, the experience of difference within families is universal, as are the triumphs of love Solomon documents in every chapter." #Challenge #AndItsAugust

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Peddler410
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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My current ARC read .... young adult edition.

MeganAnn I love this cover!! 😍 7y
16 likes1 comment
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MrsMalaprop
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A few #doorstoppers from my shelves for #riotgrams Feb day 27. I've read and recommend all of these, except for one, which I really didn't like. I was in the minority on this in my book club though. It felt a bit like when I saw and loathed Forrest Gump 😕. Can you guess which one of these was a 'pan' for me?

MrsMalaprop @Cinfhen I loooved A Little Life. It was 8y
Cinfhen Haha, A Fraction sounds good, I just stacked it. Why didn't it work for you? I guessed LL because it seemed like the most popular book in your stack😊 8y
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MrsMalaprop @Cinfhen Hmmm, it was a while ago, but I recall being quite irritated by his style and underwhelmed, while everyone else seemed to find it funny and clever. 8y
erzascarletbookgasm Argh, @MrsMalaprop you revealed too soon! I was about to guess A Fraction of the Whole merely because that's the one I've never heard of! 😂 8y
AmyG Far from the Tree is excellent. I adore Andrew Solomon. 8y
MrsMalaprop @erzascarlettbookgasm Lol, wasn't sure anyone was gonna take a shot at it 👏. @AmyG I loved Far From The Tree. Totally amazing book. 8y
27 likes7 comments
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MrsMalaprop
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Pickpick

Wow. Just wow. This tome prized open my mind and blew it away. Such incredible insights following years of interviews and research. Organised into types of difficulties by chapter, making such a massive work more accessible. Can't recommend highly enough.

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DocBrown
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
Pickpick

Magisterial but overlong. Each chapter was necessary but author ended up using too much of his source material. Raises important questions about why we have kids and what happens when they are unlike us in some significant way. Also, what makes a family and an individual person in an age of seemingly infinite self-curation and transformation.

Spiderfelt Agree on all fronts. I read this for a bookclub. We were asked to read just one chapter, but I read the first several. Stopped after the chapter on autism. The anguish and suffering of the parents was too much to bear. Reading the introduction, which was poignant and well-written, conveys the essence of the book. 8y
Peddler410 I'm currently reading an ARC of the young adult edition. (edited) 7y
DocBrown @Peddler410 A young adult edition of Far from the Tree? That's interesting. 7y
2 likes1 stack add3 comments
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rachellayown
Far From the Tree | Solomon, Andrew
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The biggest book I've read this year was Andrew Solomon's fascinating exploration of identity. It's long, but so worth reading! #ilikebigbooks #booktober

BeththeBookDragon I loved, loved, loved this book!!! 8y
42 likes6 stack adds2 comments
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Gee_Kate
Pickpick

Beautifully written, but an awfully long slog. Chapters would have been as effective at half the length. That said, very well worth reading.

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