“Dictators don‘t achieve power by announcing their intent to enslave people, Brandt,” Sanders said. “That‘s bad P.R.”
“They‘re always the first to claim violations of their personal rights,” Russo added, “and the last to grant those same rights to anyone else.”
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“The undercurrent of unresolved pain is brutal and insidious. These are the unseen scars of a scapegoated child. I wondered whether I would ever heal. My emotional state vacillated between injured and caretaker, trying to nurture my own soul.“
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“This beautiful experience of divine love opened my heart and mind to something more, a conscious acknowledgement that I was absolutely loved and lovable. I‘m going to be okay. And I hadn‘t been okay for so long, not just years, but across the entire trajectory of my life...
“Given how sick I looked, prison staff took me straight to the infirmary. My spirit broken and my body temperature rising, the vinyl mattress became soaked and unbearable to lie on. I rolled off the gurney onto the cement floor, feeling the cool surface against my cheek...
“From there, I was off and running. I camped out with an old drug-dealer friend named John, sleeping on the floor of his flea-ridden hotline hotel room in the Tenderloin. Tweaked out of my mind, I had become that guy carrying garbage bags and screaming at trees, a strung-out disaster...
“My life had taken off. I wasn‘t making anywhere close to ten thousand dollars a month, but I had more equity in living than I‘d had in decades on the street. Just as Jeff Stevenson had taught me all those years earlier, I saw how I could truly manifest and create my own life...
“Our relationship wasn‘t working because my relationship with myself wasn‘t working. I needed to be single. I needed to get to know me. My entire life had been an endless dependency on a person or a drug or a system. I needed to not be taken care of by someone else for once.“
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“I was filled with so much self-loathing that nothing mattered. I didn‘t want to live in my body or feel any feelings or be where I was. I lived in this limbo between not wanting to live and not wanting to die, simply suspended in oblivion. Even in the worst of times, I always wanted to live...
“Within a week, my meth usage was completely out of control. And I didn't stop using for the next twenty years.“
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Good book so far. Pictured is the author, whom I've actually contacted on social. Here's hoping Reedsy extends the launch date for this title, so I have time to read it and write a thoughtful review. I can already tell that this book deserves time and reflection, and will provide much insight into one person's #recovery journey.
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