helpmeplease

Not book related but I don‘t know where else to turn to and need advice.

I‘ve tried to be nice and decline but that hasn‘t worked. I even used the fact that my husband really hates going to Vancouver so much that when we go to Seattle he drives another route to avoid going to Vancouver.

I‘ve tried everything but the truth because I‘m afraid of retaliation since he is my on the job trainer until May.

#helpmeplease

Butterfinger Oh no, what a horrible position. Is there a person above him that you could discreetly ask to always be on meetings with both of you? 5y

LibrarianRyan I would be softly honest. Something like, I feel it would set a bad presidance for me to hang out publicly with my superior without other staff members present. (okay that didn't sound great)

At this time, as my superior, I feel we should maintain only a professional relationship.

Something to that effect.
5y

squirrelbrain Sorry to hear you‘re in this position. I like the suggestion that @LibrarianRyan made. Perhaps you could preface it with ‘I‘m worried.....what my co-workers will think if I‘m meeting my superior outside of work‘ Then he shouldn‘t really have a comeback for that - it‘s your thoughts and ‘worries‘ not a statement of ‘fact‘ that he can counteract. 5y

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KatieDid927 I agree with the above comments. These are good suggestions for how to word it. Ultimately, you are allowed to set your own personal boundaries, and that's okay. You do not have to be friends with someone that you don't trust or connect with on that intimate and personal level. Him being your superior does add much more complicated layers to all of this, and the above suggestions for dealing with that are excellent. Good luck! 5y

Leftcoastzen So difficult, I agree with everyone above . But also, anything to avoid Vancouver,Wa.🤭 5y

ravenlee I agree with the above. Set a boundary to preserve the professional relationship. Also, it‘s a good idea to write out a basic timeline of past events and make notes about anything happening from the point he became your trainer onward, so if there‘s anything unprofessional or any retribution you have your side documented. 5y

Heretherebedragons I agree with all of the comments above. From what you‘ve shared, it would seem like he still has issues with boundaries. If he insists or makes you feel guilty for not wanting to, that is an abuse off his power over you and not okay. You are completely reasonable to refuse even if he isn‘t being a jerk here. You don‘t owe him your trust. Trust your gut. 5y

Eggs Such great suggestions! I like the documentation idea from @ravenlee . Wishing you the best on a touchy situation 🙏🏻 5y

That-Bookish-Hiker @Butterfinger @LibrarianRyan @squirrelbrain @KatieDid927 @Leftcoastzen @ravenlee @Heretherebedragons @eggs thank you guys for the advice! I am going to take your suggestions and implement them. I‘ve been so anxious about this and sick to my stomach on what to do so I really appreciate what you‘ve shared. 😊 5y

Butterfinger @That-Bookish-Hiker hope everything proceeds smoothly for you. 5y

ravenlee Good luck! Dealing with uncomfortable situations is always anxiety-inducing. If it gets too awkward or you‘re concerned about it affecting your job you should be able to talk to an HR person (if you have any) and find out if you have any options through them, without retribution. Hugs! 5y

thebacklistbook Also if you are covered by a union at all have a rep present with you when you discuss your concerns with him. If he refuses the hint or gets more aggressive, you may need documentation and hr/rep on your side. Especially if you end up needing to leave the job for one that doesn't report to him. Good luck keep us posted if you want 5y

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aloslibrary

Neverwhere | Neil Gaiman

Question:
I have a free audiobook and I can‘t choose!
#helpmeplease
Neverwhere narrated by Neil Gaiman?
Good Omens?
Pet Sematary narrated by Michael C Hall?
✌️😫 #thanks

Literary_Siren

Neverwhere

aloslibrary @Literary_Siren thanks I‘m definitely doing Neverwhere, you and my friend Tracy convinced me. Thanks! 😊 6y

Literary_Siren @aloslibrary you‘re welcome! It‘s a good story. I didn‘t listen to it on audiobook. Even though I have the dramatized version. But I always lean toward audiobooks read by the author. And Neil Gaiman is an absolutely fantastic narrator. 6y

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KarenUK I love the BBC dramatized version too.... but Neil Gaiman‘s narration is always fabulous 👍💕 6y

Redwritinghood Anything narrated by Neil Gaiman would have to be great. 6y

TheInterpretationOfBooks Neil Gaiman. He could narrate my life and I would die happy. 6y

aloslibrary You‘re all correct, we‘re halfway through and it‘s freaking awesome! Thanks @KarenUK @Redwritinghood (awesome handle btw) and @TheInterpretationOfBooks ✌️😁 6y

23 likes7 comments

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