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Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

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megnews I appreciated Ogle‘s willingness to be vulnerable in telling his story. Trauma has a significant impact on your memory so I want surprised that it may have come across disjointed. I hope this gets into the hands of every child, poor or privileged, who needs to read it. 5y

Roary47 For those that have never lived this life it can make make then more empathetic, and maybe even help if they notice someone who could use some help. 5y

Butterfinger I hope Ogle continues writing. I read his short story about his dad kicking him out of the house for being gay so his hard times still need to be shared. 5y

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Butterfinger Great questions @sblbooks 5y

sblbooks @amber_ldsmom @megnews @Roary47 @Butterfinger thanks for joining in the discussion! 5y

SaturnDoo I'm glad I read the book, but really disappointed. It's a very important topic. Having lived through abuse myself as a child and adult, I felt like the author sent out a mixed message. I hope that any child who reads this understands that situations like this aren't magically resolved as they were in the book. I wish there had of been a resource list instead of a brief just hang in there, things get better message. Not recommended 1 ā rating 5y

9 likes6 comments

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

amber_ldsmom There is perfection, but only person has ever achieved it. However, we should all strive to continually improve ourselves. We should always seek to be better than we were yesterday and not just give up and be resigned to our current states. 5y

megnews I agree with the quote and I don‘t think normal‘s real either. Everyone‘s normal is different. People may be happier if they weren‘t comparing themselves or their situations to others. 5y

Roary47 We are all different so there is no such thing as normal. We should strive to be our best selfs, but we should not compare ourselves to others since our situations are all different. 5y

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Butterfinger Agree with all three comments @amber_ldsmom @megnews @Roary47 I will never achieve perfection till the Lord calls me, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try my darndest to be kind and caring to everyone. 5y

sblbooks Yes, I agree with everyone. @amber_ldsmom @megnews @Roary47 @Butterfinger 5y

SaturnDoo Perfection is subjective. We are all different in our actions, thoughts and feelings. We all make mistakes in which we can either learn from to do better or stay in the rut and repeat them. By nature, people do tend to compare themselves to others when they shouldn't. I think it's because we have that need to be liked/accepted. When we feel we are different (which is ok), we compare ourselves to someone that appears better. 5y

5 likes6 comments

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

amber_ldsmom I agree with the quote, except for the last sentence. Rich people are often as dysfunctional and caught in unhealthy cycles as the poor. 5y

megnews @amber_ldsmom I agree! 5y

Roary47 Yes @amber_ldsmom I agree we discovered that point with his best friend. He was rich and there was still disfunction. I think poverty is considered a disease because of the unclean situations that were described: roaches, other bugs (maybe even lice), old clothes, shoes falling apart, and maybe in some cases lack of hygiene. These traits people will avoid people for. 5y

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Butterfinger This breaks my heart. I never thought of being poor was a disease, but I do remember the mean things that were said about my cheap Family Dollar shoes from kids and from teachers. 5y

sblbooks @amber_ldsmom @Roary47 @megnews I agree rich people can be even more dysfunctional. @Butterfinger kids can be so cruel, and teachers should know better.š 5y

SaturnDoo I've never heard that expression of looking at the poor as a disease. I shook my head and rolled my eyes several times over such phrases the author used. As far as the rich having it easy, I disagree. They have financial issues too due to bad financial choices and overspending. Abuse, neglect, and other dysfunctions don't discriminate based on financial status. 5y

4 likes6 comments

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

megnews For some people living in generational poverty, it is due to historical, systemic oppression. My belief is no amount of money thrown at that will solve it. It takes a reckoning I don‘t think America may ever resolve. 5y

Roary47 I agree with @megnews kids in poverty just think this is their life. However, scholarships to get schooling they cannot afford is a step to better jobs for the hope of a better life. 5y

Butterfinger Education. Opportunities for children who live in impoverished places. Let them see the beach, a play, a museum. 5y

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sblbooks Affordable child care, raise the minimum wage, more on-the-job training or apprenticeships, instead of having to pay to go to school. Pay equity, education. @megnews @Butterfinger @Roary47 5y

Readswithcoffee I think you have to convince people that education is the key to breaking the cycle. It can‘t just be purely academic. I think we need a focus on trade skills/career paths for students not cut out for college. I also think we need a way to teach financial responsibility. 5y

SaturnDoo I really don't think there are any clear cut solutions. Bringing back more 40 hr/week FT jobs with benefits. It seems the new norm is 30 hr/ week. Companies have gotten in the habit of hiring more PT employees,thanks to Obamacare, to avoid benefits. 5y

sblbooks @SaturnDoo So true even working full-time, every year or benefits cost more but we get less. 5y

4 likes7 comments

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

amber_ldsmom I think it could do better. 5y

megnews No 5y

Roary47 There can always be improvements, but some schools offer free food to students basically year round. The school I work for is considered a ā€povertyā€¯ school it means all kids get free lunch no matter there economic standing. This is because the percentage of kids struggling in that area outweighs those that are not. Even now in our current situations any kid under 18 gets food no questions asked. They just have to drive by the front of the school. 5y

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Butterfinger I think my county tries. We give priority to students who may be the first to go to college a place in the Early College Program. In five years, they earn their high school and 2 year degrees. 5y

sblbooks I think they try, but don't always go about it in the right way. I feel like there should be more of a focus on education, and job training programs. I do think that people in the private sector, are willing to help those in need. My local community, family, church, and friends do this on a regular basis. @amber_ldsmom @megnews @Roary47 @Butterfinger 5y

Readswithcoffee I think we try, but because I don‘t think money solves the poverty problem, there will always be a problem. 5y

SaturnDoo No. 5y

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Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

megnews No 5y

amber_ldsmom No 5y

Roary47 Well, Rex seemed to think so. However, as supply and demand goes up raises don‘t always happen. People can love pay check to paycheck just to survive based on where they live and the job they hold. 5y

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megnews @Roary47 I think kids view problems in simpler terms with one clear cut solution. And tend to see money as one of those easy solutions. 5y

Butterfinger Yes for what matters to survival - food, shelter, clothes, 5y

sblbooks @amber_ldsmom @megnews @Roary47 @Butterfinger. I agree. No 5y

Readswithcoffee No. My last answer regarding bad choices covers this. 5y

SaturnDoo I agree. No. 5y

4 likes8 comments

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

amber_ldsmom Disagree. There are so many reasons why people are stuck in the cycle of poverty. 5y

megnews Agree and disagree. There are poor people who are lazy and poor people who aren‘t just like there are rich people who are lazy and rich people who aren‘t. Generally speaking though, poverty can lead to hopelessness, defeatism and depression, leading to lack of motivation. Poverty and lower education often go hand in hand leading to lack of opportunities and a back against the wall feeling of never being able to get ahead. (edited) 5y

Roary47 Yes, I believe that there are two sides of this coin. There are those that are lazy and just want to live off a system they have found to work. Then there are those that apply everywhere and there is just no jobs or they are not qualified for anything that might be available. 5y

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Butterfinger There are many people who do try their best, but when they start losing hope is when the problems start. In my opinion. I thank God for my student loans. I still feel impoverished at times, but my education has helped me to know how to be a stable person and not attack someone because I feel too much stress. I'll tell you a secret. I became a teacher to see if I would have enough patience to be a mom. I WAS NOT going to follow my parents' path. 5y

sblbooks @Butterfinger You rock! I'm so glad you were able to beat the cycle. I agree with @megnews and @Roary47 some people are poor because they're lazy, and some of the poor work harder than the rich. 5y

Readswithcoffee Poverty can be due to laziness, however I also think poverty is due to bad choices. By bad choices, I don‘t mean just drugs, alcohol, etc., but bad financial choices. I have seen people in bad financial straits, who finally get a break, get a little bit of money, and instead of saving it for next month‘s rent, go out and buy a big ticket item that they absolutely don‘t need. So frustrating to watch. 5y

SaturnDoo Agree & disagree. Some choose to live in poverty because they are lazy and it's easier to work the system than to work. I also agree that sometimes poverty can be because of bad financial choices. But then again, some families, like mine, work very hard, have the necessities, sacrifice a lot and never catch a break. If things do start getting better, it seems something always happens to knock us down. The struggle is always present. 5y

4 likes7 comments

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

amber_ldsmom Teachers aren‘t psychologists, and that‘s not their job. However, if he was constantly coming to school with injuries, they should have been concerned. They would have had a moral obligation to inquire about it. 5y

megnews Teachers, like everyone else, can be preoccupied. Such a demanding job. There‘s often a code of silence in abusive families and children learn early on to keep family secrets in the family. 5y

Roary47 As a teacher it is hard to know like @megnews mentioned teachers can overlook it. I have 175 students sometimes I don‘t see the subtle hints. A kid will not tell you what‘s going on unless they trust the teacher fully and even then kids may hide the truth. 5y

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Butterfinger @Roary47 @megnews @amber_ldsmom I am putting myself out there. I was in a similar situation as Rex and as an adult I question how much did my teacher know. Teachers were not held by law in the 80s to tell Social Services. If I have a hint from my students, by law, I'm to tell and let them evaluate. I do remember having to go to the counselor in middle school so I think mine were aware. I certainly didn't ask. I knew my parents would have had a fit so I didn't continue going. 5y

sblbooks @amber_ldsmom @Roary47 @megnews @Butterfinger all valid points, teachers do have a tough job, and overcrowded classrooms, the kids do learn to keep it a secret out of fear. I also think that some teachers are prejudiced against the poor, or kids that are discipline problems. If they suspect something they should report it. 5y

Readswithcoffee I would never place blame on the teachers. Kids hide the truth to protect themselves from the consequences of honesty. 5y

SaturnDoo Yes, especially if there were physical injuries that couldn't be easily hidden or changes in behavior. I work in a school and agree that teachers,faculty and staff have tough demanding jobs. But it's also our job to be aware of the students health,safety, and well being and report anything that seems amiss. I agree kids do hide the truth. Hence the importance of stressing that school personnel are there to help them unconditionally. 5y

sblbooks @SaturnDoo exactly! 5y

4 likes8 comments

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

amber_ldsmom Another tough question! I think she should have done more, yes, but family dynamics are tough. I don‘t think she should have let the abuse continue. She probably should have fought for custody or approached his dad about it, but I don‘t think we can make too many judgments having only one side of the story. 5y

megnews Ultimately unlikely grandma could get custody and she probably walked a fine line to ensure she would not be left out of the kids lives and lose the ability to help them in any way at all. There appeared to be some dysfunction in their relationship and I thought mom might have some mental illness. Those relationships can be like walking a mine field. 5y

Roary47 This was a different time, but yes I think she should have done more. Maybe not push his mom in giving them things, but helping her find a job, Or slowly working herself in so that Rex‘s mom didn‘t feel so threatened by the presents and food that was offered. If she was aware abuse was happening consistently she should have taken more action. Ignoring this abuse is what leads kids to an early grave. 5y

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Butterfinger @Roary47 @megnews @amber_ldsmom what a great question. I think there is history of abuse between the mom and abuela. I think that is why the mom refuses abuela's help. Abuela feels guilty and wants to help, but mom is seeing it as hypocrisy. You allowed this to happen to me, but you act better than I now? 5y

sblbooks @amber_ldsmom & @Roary47 I felt the same, that she should have fought for custody. After hearing what @megnews & @Butterfinger had to say. I'm having second thoughts. You both brought up valid points. 5y

Readswithcoffee Great question. Without all the information, it is difficult to know what she should/could have done. Good observation, @megnews. Dealing with volatile people is challenging at best. 5y

SaturnDoo Yes, most definitely. I agree, she should have fought for custody. Very highly possible she could have easily won that battle under the circumstances. In cases like this, grandparents are often asked to take custody to keep the children with family and out of state's custody. 5y

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Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

amber_ldsmom What a tough question! I believe that the STRESS of poverty can cause people to do things they wouldn‘t normally do, but I don‘t think poverty itself can be blamed. 5y

megnews I agree with @amber_ldsmom again! I also think generational poverty and isolation from other class experiences also normalizes certain behaviors within different groups. 5y

Roary47 I agree also @amber_ldsmom you saw that change when his mother was getting more money coming in. She became the mom he was wishing she would be once she got her job. They were happier and loving life more when they didn‘t have to pinch their pennies. 5y

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Butterfinger I think @megnews hits it on the head. It is a never ending vicious cycle. Through generations. My father remembers being waken by a belt because Granny wouldn't chase him so she waited till he was asleep. Doesn't that sound awful, but of course I didn't see this growing up. 5y

sblbooks @Butterfinger That's terrible! I agree with @amber_ldsmom desperate people do desperate things. However there are lot of people who are, or were in poverty that we're not criminals. 5y

Readswithcoffee I agree with @amber_ldsmom & @megnews. Stress can make people lash out AND that certain behaviors are acceptable within certain groups. However, neither of those is an excuse for taking one‘s problems out another being; not a child, not a spouse, not an animal. 5y

SaturnDoo I'm going to say no poverty doesn't cause crime and abuse. I think that's a crutch/excuse that criminals and abusers can use for their actions. There were and still are a lot of families living in poverty who do not commit to criminal activities. Sometimes these families are the happiest,kindest people you will ever meet. 5y

2 likes7 comments

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

amber_ldsmom I loved the rawness and honesty of the author. I don‘t like when books sugarcoat hard things, so this was refreshing. 5y

megnews I agree with @amber_ldsmom again. I don‘t want to say I disliked it but some parts were really tough to read. 5y

BookishMe @megnews the raw tough parts, despite written simply yet hit hard and slowed down my reading. I don't think I'd have it any other way though cos this is a story that needs to be told. 5y

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megnews @BookishMe agree! 5y

Roary47 I also agree that the raw and sometimes uncensored parts where you read just how bad his situation was. Then when it started to turn around, when his mother got her job, it was even more rewarding to relish in that success. 5y

Butterfinger The emotional and physical abuse was very tough for me to get through. I wonder if he has a relationship with them now @Roary47 @BookishMe @megnews @amber_ldsmom There were times I didn't think I could finish. In my mind, I was saying don't say anything Rex. 5y

sblbooks @Butterfinger I too wondered about his relationship with his mom & stepdad now. @Roary47 @BookishMe @megnews @amber_ldsmom agreed a tough story to get thru, but one that needs to be told. 5y

Readswithcoffee I liked that he seemed so honest in his retelling of his childhood. As others have stated, it wasn‘t that I disliked anything, it was just so heartbreaking. 5y

SaturnDoo I'm probably in the minority here because I didn't like this book. The topic was important but the delivery was a train wreck.There seemed to be a lot of loop holes. The writing was simplistic,repetitive and disjointed. Just one bad thing after another until his mother got a job and then it was like everything was fine and acceptable. Ummm no, bad message Rex. No matter the circumstances abuse & neglect isn't acceptable. 5y

sblbooks @SaturnDoo I agree that abuse and neglect is not acceptable. That's definitely a valid point. 5y

3 likes10 comments

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

This post contains spoilers

amber_ldsmom I think it‘s probably very healing for him to get his story out in the open, to muck through all the trauma and get it all sorted out into a chronological narrative and see the progression of it. Sorting out his feelings about all of it in a systematic way was probably very helpful for him emotionally. 5y

megnews I agree with @amber_ldsmom and I also think he recognized there are kids going through similar situations who need to know they‘re not alone and they‘ll make it through. 5y

Roary47 Yes, I also agree. Kids need to know they are not alone and that there is a light at the end. The success of this author can also show kids that they can do anything they set their mind to. 5y

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Butterfinger I agree with all the comments. He's a successful comic writer/artist. He knows he can be a role model to those in similar situations. @Roary47 @amber_ldsmom @megnews - I think he realizes that his mom and Ford's dad were trying. 5y

Readswithcoffee I agree that the author realizes he has an opportunity to give hope to kids in similar situations that probably seem hopeless to them. He is definitely a role model. 5y

SaturnDoo I have mixed feelings as to the why. I'm not even 50% convinced that he wrote this book to help/encourage kids in similar situations simply because the book had lots of loop holes and lacked helpful resources. The author's note at the end also left me with a bitter taste. 5y

sblbooks @SaturnDoo that's interesting, I read the Kindle version so I didn't have the authors note. 5y

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#MiddleGradeMarch #OverbookedClub @Peddler410 @thegirlwiththelibrarybag @Cupcake12 @rubyslippersreads @erzascarletbookgasm @LibrarianRyan @Sace @SaturnDoo @dwRavenPuff @amber_ldsmom @ravenlee @Butterfinger @Roary47 @BookishMe @JenniferTapler @AmyK1 @AsYouWish @megnews @Nute @hes7 @TheBookHippie @Johanna414

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

amber_ldsmom That first chapter was a doozy! Just hits you right in the gut. Makes your heart just sick with grief. 5y

ravenlee One thing has me really torn. I hate that Rex has to take on so much responsibility at home, and that makes his mom go easier on him, but it makes me feel a little sympathy for the mom at the same time. Being overwhelmed and overworked is absolutely no excuse for abusing your child, but I kinda get how she might be feeling. 5y

sblbooks @Readswithcoffee I just realized I neglected to tag you yesterday, I am so sorry. Please feel free to join in discussion now, I'd like to hear your thoughts. 5y

Readswithcoffee No problem. 5y

28 likes4 comments

BookishMe

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

#MiddleGradeMarch #currentlyReading

44 likes

S3V3N

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

pick

Well written book. The short snippets of his childhood were sad. I read it in one sitting.

16 likes

JenniferTapler

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

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āļø¸āļø¸āļø¸āļø¸ - It took me awhile to get through this #middlegrademarch #readalong, I think because it was just so emotionally charged. I‘m making my 8th grader read this. 4 stars only because I think I‘m just not a huge fan of middle grade writing. I do recommend this for all tweens and teens!

megnews, sblbooks

JenniferTapler @nickismith I‘m making Dean read this. It‘s not a happy, feel-good book, but I think important for privileged kids to be aware of the situation of some other kids. Might be a good one for Duke. 5y

sblbooks I agree, and I'm glad you joined us this month. 5y

megnews It took me some time to get through as well. I think for the same reasons. 5y

11 likes3 comments

SaunteringVaguelyDownwards

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

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Despite my best attempts to keep my normal schedule, sleep eluded me tonight, so I started reading this....and then finished it. This memoir tackles the overwhelming emotions about being poor: the stigma of being on free lunch in middle school, caring for younger siblings so parents can work, the inability to afford school supplies. Very sobering, and a definite rec for my Children's Lit students.

7 likes

Roary47

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

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It hurt to read the struggles of our author when he was younger. As you read on it helps you appreciate the small moments, what you have, and even with struggles who your family is. I really enjoyed this one and so glad Rex Ogle shared his story. I‘m sure it will help others to see another side to our economy or know they are not alone.

megnews, amber_ldsmom, sblbooks, Littlewolf1

megnews Going into this book, I had missed it was a memoir. It was hard to read after finding that out. But I agree with you, I‘m glad the author told this story. 5y

4 likes1 comment

JenniferTapler

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

#CurrentlyReading Finally getting started on this one! It‘s been a crazy week+ (I‘m a healthcare provider, so, yeah. We also cancelled our Spring Break trip to the mainland next week) without much reading getting done, but I‘m home for the next 10 days and hoping to mark several books, including this one, off my list! #MiddleGradeMarch

megnews, sblbooks

6 likes1 stack add

Roary47

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

Wishing I had more time to read, but finally about halfway through!
#MiddlegradeMarch

megnews, amber_ldsmom, sblbooks

sblbooks No worries, there still plenty of time. 5y

3 likes1 comment

BookishMe

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

#FirstLineFridays @ShyBookOwl
#MiddleGradeMarch

MayJasper š 5y

29 likes1 comment

amber_ldsmom

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

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Wow! That first chapter just hits you right in the gut. Definitely a hard book to read. #MiddleGradeMarch

megnews, sblbooks

19 likes

Butterfinger

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

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It broke my heart. It took me back to a time I try not to remember. As Rex, I blamed my troubles on being poor. As an adult, I know my parents needed help so they wouldn't take their frustration out with a belt. As a teacher, I need to be reminded that children don't come to school intending to be trouble. They are living and surviving one day at a time. I'm so glad that Rex and his family were able to have good times together. #middlegrademarch

Butterfinger @sblbooks @megnews 5y

megnews Excellent review. I‘m glad you were able to finish it. I‘m looking forward to the discussion later this month. 5y

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Readswithcoffee

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

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This book is so GOOD! The story is heartbreaking. Stories of abuse are really difficult to read, but this one is told very well. Rex‘s genuine sorrow over hurting his classmate‘s feelings over her Halloween costume reminded me, oppositely, of this quote from ā€A Tree Grows In Brooklyn:ā€¯ ā€They learned no compassion from their own anguish, thus their suffering was wasted.ā€¯ (That was a punctuation disaster! Sorry.) #overbookedclub

43 likes

Roary47

Free Lunch | Rex Ogle

My March Book Haul. āļø¸š¨€

3 likes