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Toddlers Are A**holes
Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault | Bunmi Laditan
14 posts | 12 read | 1 reading | 8 to read
Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human developmentnot unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic reliefalong with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.
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FlynnDewey
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Trying to catch up on posts for #Teamwhoyagonnacall be like...

This might be the best advertisement for how light MacBooks are now.

#scarathlon

SomedayAlmost The struggle is real…😉 (edited) 1y
11 likes1 comment
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FantasyChick
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Tell me you have a toddler in the house without telling me you have a toddler in the house 🤦‍♀️

Time to rearrange the shelves so everything's out of reach I guess 🤣

Ast_Arslan I feel you 😨 I don't have a toddler, but I have a dog that was a puppy that ate some of my books 😨 4y
Kelly_the_Bookish_Sidekick My puppy must've seen books as competition for my attention and nibbled on a few corners and tore up a back cover. I taped the back cover puzzle back together. It was a cheap used book so I wasn't too mad about it but I definitely loved the books from that shelf. @Ast_Arslan Same!🤣 4y
FantasyChick @Ast_Arslan @Kelly_the_Bookish_Sidekick Haha babies and puppies must have had a meeting. "No books. They take attention away from us. Must destroy!" Good thing they are cute ? 4y
Ast_Arslan @FantasyChick ahahahah I think you're right! I was so d*mn angry with my baby that 9 years later she doesn't come closer to a book 🤣 4y
FantasyChick Hahaha @Ast_Arslan At least she learned!! 4y
37 likes5 comments
review
vkois88
Pickpick

I really enjoyed this literal laugh-out-loud book! The author was quite spot-on with many of the things she said... be it about toddler behavior, or the sanctimonious parents who always have to add their two cents. If you are parent to a toddler, or will be approaching toddlerhood soon, I highly suggest reading this book and realizing YOU ARE NOT ALONE

4⭐️

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lauren.lerner
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Morning read.

🙊📚🖍
#tuesdayreads #parenting #worldbookday

TheKidUpstairs I love Bunmi, she's great. 6y
lauren.lerner I have been a fan of Bunmi for a while — I follow her on twitter and have missed her recently (but I think she was working on her upcoming book). @TheKidUpstairs 6y
33 likes1 stack add2 comments
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GlassAsDiamonds
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Me: it‘s okay (parents need to take important phone call with moving company), I‘ll keep them alive.

I swear to god, 17 seconds later, Mr 2.5 was actively trying to stab Mr.3.5, who was in the box, with a lead pencil (note the stab marks above) 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️.

I am not cut out for toddlers.

ItsAngel 😂😂😂😂 I swear, toddlers are the worst!! I have a 2 and 4 year old (not really a toddler)...they are sweet one minute and the next are trying to main one another. 6y
OrangeMooseReads Toddlers are not for the weak or faint of heart lol (edited) 6y
readinginthedark Oh my gosh, yes! The worst part is that half the time they don't know they've done anything wrong, and the other half they know but play innocent! 🙈 6y
See All 6 Comments
gradcat You‘re cracking me up 😂 6y
Tamra Never a dull moment! 6y
iread2much 😂😂😂😂 omg, this post is awesome. I am also not good with toddlers 6y
33 likes6 comments
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cmwilliamson316
Pickpick

Hilarious and much needed relief as I'm raising a toddler. Great unwind at the end of the day.

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Mandigolightly
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Parenting hack

DGRachel That sounds like my kind of green smoothie! 🤣🤣 6y
TheBookAddict Now that green smoothie I can have everyday. 🤣🤣🤣 6y
LoverofLit Love it! And that title is on point 👌 6y
readinginthedark 😂❤ 6y
96 likes3 stack adds5 comments
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mydearwatson
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Pickpick

Oh my goodness. Bunmi Laditan is a genius.
#toddlers

Full review at https://mydearwatsonbooks.wordpress.com/2018/07/30/toddler-are-aholes/.

(pic from #goodreads)

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winemom
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Pickpick

This is the gospel. As a first time mom of someone who‘s on the cusp of toddling, I identify heavily with this book. Bunmi is hilarious and not afraid to say that parenting sometimes just plain sucks.

Johanna414 So true! We just got a few little gifts for our 2 year old - give him a matchbox car and he‘s happy for hours. The grandparents don‘t have the same philosophy and I‘m pretty sure have gone waaaaay overboard... 7y
Alfoster 😂😂😂😂! 7y
TricksyTails 😂 I love it! Keepin' it real! 7y
17 likes1 stack add3 comments
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azulaco
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I am loving Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin, but one needs levity as well. Bunmi Laditan is freaking hilarious. I may need to buy all her books just to show my support. Her Twitter feed Honest Toddler is one of my favorites. 😂

10 likes1 stack add
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britt_brooke
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My futile attempt at reading on the floor. 😂

Megabooks 😂😂😂 7y
Born.A.Reader Oh good! It's not just mine who pretends I'm a human jungle gym! 😂😂 7y
Hollie Perfect tagged book! 7y
See All 19 Comments
britt_brooke @Born.A.Reader 😂 And why do they get crazier at bedtime?! Both of mine are now running around the house pretending to be flying lizards. 🤷🏼‍♀️ (edited) 7y
vivastory 😂😂 7y
britt_brooke @Hollie It's a really funny read, too! 😁 7y
LauraBeth 😂💕 you could morph it into a crossfit workout 7y
Avanders Lol: flying lizards 😄 7y
britt_brooke @LauraBeth 😂💪🏻 7y
BibliOphelia It looks like you live my life! 😂 7y
britt_brooke @BibliOphelia 😂 Happy I'm not alone! 7y
RealBooks4ever 🤣💜 7y
Magpiegem I've realised if I read on a kindle they don't realising I'm reading! Shhhhh 😊 7y
britt_brooke @Magpiegem I read on my kindle about 75% of the time, so the secret's already out, lol. 7y
readinginthedark Yes! Any time I lay down anywhere, I'm immediately furniture/playground! 7y
britt_brooke @readinginthedark Haha, yes - same here! 7y
readordierachel This is the cutest!! 7y
178 likes1 stack add19 comments
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Johanna414
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My living room, courtesy of a toddler play date...

Alfoster So cute! 8y
LeahBergen 😂 8y
19 likes2 comments
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Josie
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When toddlers attack. #RIPglasses #shedontcare

Cinfhen ???in my house it's called "fighting spirit" She's ADORABLE ? 8y
Foxyfictionista She really doesn't care! Tiny tyrant... 🤣 8y
Josie @Cinfhen hahahaha I'm going to have to start using that!! And thank you, she does make me smile. 8y
See All 22 Comments
Josie @Foxyfictionista she's such a tyrant. I had to go get my back up pair of glasses, and she's after those too!!! 8y
Foxyfictionista Oh dear... Hahaha!! Maybe you should think about getting contacts. 😃 8y
Donna_sBookMinute I've always been afraid of this . . . and earrings 8y
Lynnsoprano But she's sooo cute (spoken like the grandmother I am😎) 8y
Josie @Foxyfictionista I know! I've used contacts before and didn't love them. But I also didn't have a baby grabbing at my face all the time. It may be time to switch back over. 8y
Josie @Donna_sBookMinute I'm usually very careful with my glasses, but I just left them somewhere she could reach, and reach she did. 8y
Josie @Lynnsoprano hahaha between you and me, I wasn't really mad lol I had left them out, and I know better! She did look a little upset when she brought them to me, but then she plopped down in her chair and forgot all about it lol 8y
CouronneDhiver Oh no! #ParentProblems 👶🏽 8y
LeahBergen Her expression! 😂 She is sooo sweet! 8y
Josie @LeahBergen yeah, I think I'll hang on to her for awhile 😉 8y
LaurenAsh Just now approaching that stage...I can't wait! 😂 8y
SaraFair Hhmph! 8y
Josie @LaurenAsh it's exhausting and hilarious and MIND BOGGLING. But so worth it. Yesterday, Lilah just yelled at me all day. Then, last night, she had me laughing so hard I was crying. Good days and bad days lol 8y
Reviewsbylola My kids are drawn to my glasses like a moth to a flame. They will even snatch them from my face! 8y
Josie @Reviewsbylola oh yeah, Lilah loves to wait until I'm not paying attention. She just pounces on my face!! They've got guts, I'll give 'em that much. 😁😉 8y
Ruri_kaichou Yep. My oldest head-butted me while my glasses were on. I really thought she broke one or both but she didn't. Things to look forward to as they get older 😅 however, she is 3 and she actually felt a little bad for doing it, so there's that. 8y
Josie @Ruri_kaichou REMORSE!!! I can't wait for that! My little one is so mean sometimes lol 8y
Carissa-Green-Reads That pout! Perfected! 8y
Ruri_kaichou Haha! It takes a while; 3 had been a really trying age for us, but it will come. It's super slow going, but they are slowly becoming civilized individuals 😂 8y
113 likes22 comments
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Vexingcircumstance
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The human worm baby just head butted me in the nose. I saw stars. #ouch #babiesoflitsy #toddlersarejerks #parenting #kids