Okay *deep breath* I‘m fine. Okay. Um. I haven‘t even made a dent in this book and I AM CRYING MY EYES OUT IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY! The relatable characters, the tragic relationships, THE FEELS! Between all the action and heartbreak, I‘m probably going to have a stroke.

Look. I REALLY wanted to like this. A John Green book with LGBT representation, paired with the fact that it‘s co-written by the fantastic David Leviathan? YES! Though once I finished it, I can‘t say I wasn‘t a bit disappointed. There‘s little to no closure, and for a stand alone it leaves much to be desired. The representation, I have to admit, is pretty inaccurate. And only the straight couple gets a satisfying “happily ever after” ending. Ugh.

OH MY GOD. I like to consider myself a very well educated and articulate person but OH MY GOD, DUDE. Everything about it was fantastic! The representation, the characters, the relationships! Agh! I love it so much I can‘t even accurately describe it! As a person who also struggles to deal with an anxiety disorder, and intrusive thoughts, John Green‘s representation of that mental health issue means the world to me. Probably my new favorite book.

More Happy Than Not left me feeling like I had swallowed a black hole. Throughout the story I was rooting for Aaron with my whole soul, and as things went from bad to worse to a waking nightmare, my heart was broken over and over again. Aaron's life is a terrifying downward spiral followed by a sliver of hope, and left me smiling through my tears.

The Reason I Jump is an eye-opening look into the daily life of an autistic person, with all of its ups and downs. Naoki Higashida explains his personal experiences with autism in a simultaneously heartbreaking and inspiring way. This book helped me better understand autism, and perhaps is a good reminder that there are real human beings beneath disabilities. Only complaint: some questions were restated and the book became slightly repetitive.

"Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."

“What are you doing right now?” I ask.
“Is that an invitation?”
“I wish it was.”
He laughs. “I‘m sitting at my desk, looking through my window, and talking to you.”
“Talking to your boyfriend.”
“Yeah,” he says. I can hear him smiling. “Him.”

(Note: AHH THESE CUTIES)

“I‘ve basically been picturing this moment for ten hours, and now that it‘s here, I don‘t have a clue what I‘m supposed to say. Probably something awesome and witty and not school-related.
Probably not: “Did you finish the chapter?”
“I did,” he says.
“I didn‘t,” I say.
Then he smiles and I smile. And then I blush and he lowers his eyes, and it‘s like this entire pantomime of nervous gestures.”

“People are shameless when it comes to cake. It‘s a beautiful thing to see.”

“It‘s funny how it ends up being the straightest, preppiest, most athletic guys who go all out for Gender Bender. I guess they feel secure enough in their masculinity that they don‘t care.
I actually hate when people say that. I mean, I feel secure in my masculinity, too. Being secure in your masculinity isn‘t the same as being straight.”

Carry On is one of my favorite books. Rainbow Rowell writes fantastic (yet realistic) characters that are impossible not to fall in love with. Its similarities to Harry Potter are undeniable, but Carry On truly comes into its own with an unforgettable plot that keeps you turning pages. Not only does this book include accurate representation of the LGBT+ community and mental illness, it shines light onto the effects of the "chosen one" trope.