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What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat
What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat | Aubrey Gordon
18 posts | 27 read | 39 to read
From the creator of Your Fat Friend, an explosive indictment of the systemic and cultural bias facing plus-size people that will move us toward creating an agenda for fat justice. Anti-fatness is everywhere. In What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat, Aubrey Gordon unearths the cultural attitudes and social systems that have led to people being denied basic needs because they are fat and calls for social justice movements to be inclusive of plus-sized people's experiences. Unlike the recent wave of memoirs and quasi self-help books that encourage readers to love and accept themselves, Gordon pushes the discussion further towards authentic fat activism, which includes ending legal weight discrimination, giving equal access to health care for large people, increased access to public spaces, and ending anti-fat violence. As she argues, "I did not come to body positivity for self-esteem. I came to it for social justice." By sharing her experiences as well as those of others--from smaller fat to very fat people--she concludes that to be fat in our society is to be seen as an undeniable failure, unlovable, unforgivable, and morally condemnable. Fatness is an open invitation for others to express disgust, fear, and insidious concern. To be fat is to be denied humanity and empathy. Studies show that fat survivors of sexual assault are less likely to be believed and less likely than their thin counterparts to report various crimes; 27% of very fat women and 13% of very fat men attempt suicide; over 50% of doctors describe their fat patients as "awkward, unattractive, ugly and noncompliant"; and in 48 states, it's legal--even routine--to deny employment because of an applicant's size. Advancing fat justice and changing prejudicial structures and attitudes will require work from all people. What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat is a crucial tool to create a tectonic shift in the way we see, talk about, and treat our bodies, fat and thin alike.
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SarahBookInterrupted
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Check out Meredith‘s book recommendation on Book Interrupted‘s Manuscript Monday. https://www.bookinterrupted.com/post/manuscript-monday-what-we-don-t-talk-about-...

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Gadzooks_Bazooka
Pickpick

There were zero voices like this when I was growing up, thank goodness there are now.

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sarahbellum
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I haven‘t worked on my cross stitch much these last few months, but I‘m breaking it out today to make a little more progress on my day off. #litsycrafters #audiostitching

Ang203l I love your needle minder! 😻 3y
sarahbellum @Ang203l it‘s hard to beat a cat in a teacup 🙃 2y
curiouserandcurioser @sarahbellum this looks beautiful! Cant wait to see the finished pucture💜 2y
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Kitta So cute! Love cross stitch. 2y
LiseWorks Oh how lovely and so colorful 2y
sarahbellum @LiseWorks thank you! 🥰 2y
Catsandbooks The color contrast on this is so cool! 2y
46 likes8 comments
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eden.s.dipersio
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Pickpick

I'm not even done with this book yet and I'm going to review it because I love it. Such an eye-opener. I know anti-fat bias is prevalent in society but this book shed so much light on things I didn't know. This will stick with me for a while!

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Shievad
Pickpick

Overall great book. Talks about the many ways society and the healthcare industry fail fat people (especially morbidly obese and heavier). I thought the book would include even a small tangential comment on medical conditions (like hormonal, especially insulin, imbalances) that contribute to weight gain and difficulty losing weight. I don‘t see enough of a discussion on this topic when we‘re talking about weight.

Shievad Additionally, the author kept focusing on dieting stats and how dieting doesn‘t work…I thought it‘s commonly understood nowadays that only lifestyle changes can have a lasting effect. 3y
tokorowilliamwallace Yes, the healthcare system fails or dismisses and doesn't take diabetics seriously. Access to insulin is a different issue than access to opioids. Insulin and diabetic testing supplies cost too much and for supplies which make this easier for everyone involved, insurance won't cover it and doctors won't prescribe unless there's special warrant. There's a huge problem with diabetics hoarding and reusing supplies and insulin with affordability, &c. 3y
2 likes2 comments
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Karmapen
Pickpick

As a person who grew up in an extremely fatphobic household, I found this book nearly excruciating to read. It took me like a week and half to get through, which is forever for me. But it was so important and enlightening— I wish everyone would read it.

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sarahlandis
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Pickpick

I adored this book. It highlighted that health can exist at every size and fat is not the same as unhealthy. It delves into why the body positivity movement has left so many people behind. It has real life examples of how health care fails fat people in ways that can be fatal. It discusses how society can move forward to be more inclusive and less abusive (eventually loving) for people of all sizes! Highly recommend anyone dealing with fat-phobia

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MaleficentBookDragon
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Car Play just decided to start working today on my way back from A.C.
#audiodriving
#roadtrip

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ElleSkel
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Pickpick

This was fantastic. There were a couple of eye roll 🙄 moments for me ( there will always be little things in books like these that we can‘t all agree on) but overall it was an excellent read! She just hits you with the hard truths, (many of which I can personally relate to ) and she drives the points home with a blend of well researched facts and life experiences that make this book a must read.

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Megabooks
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Pickpick

As a fat person, I still have implicit bias against fat people, and I‘m trying to examine why and look at how I can change. Why do airplane seats have to be so small? Why shouldn‘t MRI scanners accommodate people over 350 lbs? This book is an excellent look at how fat bias is harmful. She discusses the above, street harassment, the problems of diet culture, shaming children, etc. This was definitely worth a #reread. Excellent #audiobook!

Cinfhen This sounds excellent 3y
Cinfhen My favorite is still 3y
ShelleyBooksie Did it make you sad? As a person of size myself, sometimes I find this style of book hard to read. 3y
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mandarchy I can so relate to this. For every ailment the first suggestion is to lose weight or just move more. My feet hurt. I average 6.5 miles a day (step counting). It's not because I'm fat. I think there is something wrong with my feet. My dad has the same problem with his feet and he's 85lbs underweight! 3y
Megabooks @Cinfhen Hunger is fantastic. It‘s more of a memoir, this book goes beyond that into sociology, psychology, and culture. 👍🏻 3y
Megabooks @ShelleyBooksie I have to be in the right mood. I‘ve spent 2021 trying to recondition my thoughts about myself, the food I eat, the way the world treats me (us), etc., so books like this help me in that mission. 3y
Megabooks @mandarchy yes! I‘m a big believer in health at every size. Fat ≠ unhealthy. I walk 3.5-4.5 miles a day (tracked on Apple Watch), and my feet hurt due to bunions. My grandmother had them and she never weighed over 130 lbs! 🤷🏻‍♀️ I find I have to be so proactive when I talk to doctors. It helps that I‘m a veterinarian, so I have a lot of “understanding medicine in general” privilege. 3y
wanderinglynn I‘ve been using Noom and it is helping me redefine my relationship with food. 3y
Megabooks @wanderinglynn fantastic! I‘m glad it‘s working for you. 3y
ShelleyBooksie @Megabooks - you're a vet!!! I'm a receptionist at a veterinary hospital. ♡ 3y
Megabooks @ShelleyBooksie oh fantastic!! 💜🐶🐱 3y
tenar I learned so much while reading this. Her discussion of healthism and what society thinks we “owe” with regards to our health (all based on appearance rather than reality) connected so many dots for me. I may reread, too! 3y
Megabooks @tenar yes, yes, and yes! Excellent way of putting it. The move away from seeing fat people as normal, healthy people with full lives and feelings only harms everyone. 3y
Centique I‘m keen to read this. I talk about this with my trainer, about how it can be a form of race bias as well. A lot of our Pacific Island wahine here are larger builds, taller and broader to start with, and it‘s just so wrong that these impossible expectations about size exist that have nothing to do with healthiness. I hope the world is waking up to this. Healthy is not a number, not a size or a weight nor an appearance.⬇️ 3y
Centique And also being healthy is not necessarily achievable in the same way for every person. I think sometimes we behave as a society as if health just takes hard work. Some people, many people, live with illness every day and I think societies should respect and accomodate the difficulties of that. (There‘s my soap box sorry,!) thanks for the chance to share that Meg xxx 💕😘 3y
Megabooks @Centique excellent points, Paula!! 😘😘 I‘m glad to read your perspective! are they big into BMI calculations in NZ? She specifically discusses how it has racist (eugenics) beginnings and is not a good calculation on an individual basis for anyone, but it is especially harmful to non-white people. 3y
Centique @Megabooks that‘s so interesting Meg! I have heard from people who seem educated in nutrition/fitness that BMI is a terrible measurement but I think it used to be highly used here? 3y
Megabooks @Centique yes, it is terrible, but unfortunately widely used here, even by doctors and nutrition professionals. I‘m glad it‘s been debunked over there! 3y
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ReadingOver50
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Pickpick

I liked the anecdotal stories about fat bias. They made me feel very sad for the people involved and also angry. Then data was presented to support the claims. It made me mad that doctors especially could be so mean and fat phobic, and that fat people are getting substandard care because of fat bias. People should be made aware of these things. This book should be a wake up call for many. I hope it will lead to change.

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Stacking!!! 3y
Emilymdxn I just finished this and I loved it SO much 3y
Nerdfins I bought this on audible. I as a fat woman look forward to hearing it. 3y
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amma-keep-reading
Pickpick

Personal, insightful, well researched, unputdpwnable (for me).

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Thndrstd
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Pickpick

An important book that challenges our assumptions about fat, fat people, and fat acceptance. The author includes some of her personal challenges and experiences of discrimination and humiliation of being fat, helping to make a strong case for basic human dignity. Difficult to read at times because of the emotions involved, this book is a vital entry for social justice.

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underground_bks
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Pickpick

What We Don‘t Talk About When We Talk About Fat pairs memoir and cultural criticism, with social science and medical research to back it up, to state clearly and unequivocally the kind of mistreatment fat people face in our society. As a straight-sized person, I felt deeply convicted listening to Gordon‘s words and so appreciate her empowering contribution to the project of building a more just, equitable, and liberated world for all bodies.

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KatieDid927
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Pickpick

Dr. Roxane Gay says it best right there on the cover. This should be “required reading for absolutely everyone”. Anti-fat bias is literally killing people, and according to Harvard‘s Project Implicit, it‘s the only bias actively getting worse. @Megabooks also posted a great review.

Megabooks Thanks! It is such an important book! 4y
Emilymdxn Just bought this!! Sounds so important I had to get it immediately 4y
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Megabooks
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Pickpick

This book starts on a plane and ends in a doctor‘s office, but this is not a weight loss journey. Aubrey talks about the rampant discrimination fat people face, whether in the air or at the doctor. It is literally heartbreaking for your body to be a joke or a reason not to get a job or not receive medical care. I am shamed multiple times a week for the weight my body gained by my mom. The I go to my Instagram search page and get ⬆️ cont below...

Megabooks ⬆️ I literally cannot even escape online algorithms of what my thoughts on my body should be. This is a good book to read and feel seen if you are fat or to read to examine your explicit or implicit bias against fat people. (I have a bias against fat people, and I am one. It is a journey we must take as a society.) (edited) 4y
TiminCalifornia “It is a journey we must take as a society.“ -Yes! 4y
Chrissyreadit Yes!!! I have been fat shamed so many times! It has made me aware of how horrible society is. I don‘t know how to address it because our culture is always about shame- especially if you are poor, overweight, different, etc.... 4y
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Kalalalatja I don‘t know if you have read it, but the tagged book deals with similar topics (shame, fat phobia, discrimination), in a way that is really informative and funny (imo) 4y
Megabooks @TiminCalifornia yes, she makes a point that this is a social justice movement, which requires all of us to examine how we think, feel and act towards fat people. 4y
Megabooks @Chrissyreadit yes! She makes a lot of points about ableism and how that relates to fat shaming and how people are at that intersection can‘t receive the care they need. We think thin = healthy, but when I was thin, I was restricting and bingeing and in no better/worse physical (as far as running, etc.) or medical numbers shape than I am now. In fact, I‘ve quit drinking and smoking, which makes me healthier, but is still get shamed at the doctor. 4y
Megabooks @Chrissyreadit and btw I was disabled from a car accident thin, and I‘m still disabled at 40. (The accident was 23 years and 17 surgeries ago. 😢) But I feel I shouldn‘t have to make that justification of fat and healthy. Not everyone as access to healthy foods nor knows how to cook them, and that doesn‘t make them less than me. (edited) 4y
Megabooks @Kalalalatja I‘m adding that to my queue, and I‘ve certainly enjoyed many books from fat, funny people, but this book is definitely more about social justice than humor. I think humor is very relatable, but we (fat people) don‘t necessarily have to make a joke to make a point, but I think humor often draws a larger audience. 4y
Kalalalatja Definitely! Both types of books are needed, but especially the more serious! I‘m just really happy with the amount of books being published about fat phobia, even though I wish they weren‘t necessary. The fact that we are talking about the subject in a curious and informative way, instead of just “moralizing” makes me hopeful for a change in the internalized bias and prejudice so many people carry towards fat people 4y
Chrissyreadit @Megabooks ugh! That accident and recovery were full of trauma and then there‘s the trauma provided by culture! I was incredibly healthy, fit, active and “thin” too. I think it is almost 5 years ago I had a severe reaction to the flu shot. I had Developed walking pneumonia a week after the shot, then two weeks later Epstein Barr, that I still have residual bouts of symptoms from, then two more bouts of walking pneumonia and bronchitis that same 4y
Chrissyreadit Year. I never recovered- felt sick and on top of that went to several specialists about my 100lb weight gain and extreme pain and fatigue that never went away - (now know it is rheumatoid arthritis) and all anyone would do is discuss my need to eat better and exercise to lose weight. I have had 5 years of extreme depression at times- because I LOVE running, hiking and walking and cannot- and was told I was lying about what I eat from my primary 4y
Chrissyreadit Care dr (I‘m a vegan and love healthy eating- and always have- I like dessert, but for example when I get a decadent chocolate bar in a swap it lasts a couple months). Now I know I will always have pain and limited mobility and possibly shame for a weight I carry too- it does make me so angry! And things I‘ve witnessed that making harder for overweight people to be fit and healthy since this occurred too!!! 4y
Chrissyreadit One thing that did occur this year that is interesting- my daughter is very short- 5‘0 and very curvy- hourglass shape- was just signed by IMG models- they are working towards diversity and representation for color, shapes and sizes. I‘m excited that the industry is recognizing health and diversity of bodies as vital representation! (They are the largest modeling/ agency in the world- their INstagram shows their sincerity towards this move!) 4y
Megabooks @Chrissyreadit I‘m so sorry you‘ve been through that!! I can totally relate to how devastating sudden disability can be!! I love that places like IMG are signing people like your daughter, and I follow a number of fat fashion bloggers who make a living off Insta, have representation, etc. but they don‘t get the opportunities of Kendall Jenner or Bella Hadid, etc. it‘s nice that fun stores like anthropology are waking up to fat people ⬇️⬇️ 4y
Megabooks @Chrissyreadit wanting cute clothes and work wear and to see themselves represented in ads for those clothes, but the level of representation (as far as number of models included in ads or fashions shows) is nowhere close to representing the female population. And same with ability, race, and gender diversity. It‘s better but we all need to push hard to say, yes, we want this. I will wear your clothes if you are accountable to making/representing 4y
Chrissyreadit Yes! Exactly- IMG is who represents Hadid I believe- I‘m learning about how tik tok has also created opportunities and promotes positive stuff. My daughter works hard to be body positive and her TikTok is fairly popular- but she has had some incredibly cruel things occur with fat shaming also. But for every 1 negative comment there are 1,000 positive including girls thanking her for being body positive. She recently had someone repost one of her 4y
Chrissyreadit Videos to an account that mocks and there was a bit of outrage - she blocked them but I‘m really proud that she has become known for body positive. Her videos often have over a million views and I‘m so very proud that she promotes issues related to healthy views on beauty. 4y
Megabooks @Chrissyreadit wow! That‘s fantastic re:her TikTok! And yes, the fat models I follow on Instagram get mostly positive comments, but I definitely see some hating too, which is really unfortunate. Good luck to your daughter!! 4y
Cuilin @Megabooks @Chrissyreadit Late to this discussion but wanted to say thank you to both of you for your honesty. I spent too long worrying if my but looked big and covering up parts of my body because of shame. Shame I wasn‘t thin in places. I‘m encouraged by GenZ though, my daughters are different and each embrace each other and can‘t stand body shaming. I think this generation will be the spark for revolution for acceptance of all. ❤️ 4y
Chrissyreadit @Cuilin ❤️❤️❤️ 4y
Megabooks @Cuilin love to you!! I‘m continually amazed by the activism of Gen Z. We have come so far even in the 20 years since I was 20. I hope they keep leading the way! I took Lindy West‘s advice in Shrill and started following fat influencers (mainly millennials) on Instagram for style advice, beauty tips, and just to see normal bodies like mine/body positivity. So fantastic! It‘s great to see people being beautiful with styles I like. 4y
Cuilin @Megabooks Yes. I‘m loving the trends of more representation in not just color and size but age too!! 4y
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KatieDid927
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KatieDid927
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1. Tagged!
2. Jane Eyre, Rebecca, Neverwhere
3. “I didn‘t know who this instruction was for, but I was increasingly certain it wasn‘t for me.”

#weekendreads @rachelsbrittain

julesG Your #2 💙 4y
25 likes1 comment