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She's Not There
She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders | Jennifer Finney Boylan
28 posts | 33 read | 39 to read
The provocative bestseller Shes Not There is the winning, utterly surprising story of a person changing genders. By turns hilarious and deeply moving, Jennifer Finney Boylan explores the territory that lies between men and women, examines changing friendships, and rejoices in the redeeming power of family. Told in Boylans fresh voice, Shes Not There is about a person bearing and finally revealing a complex secret. Through her clear eyes, Shes Not There provides a new window on the confounding process of accepting our true selves. Probably no book Ive read in recent years has made me so question my basic assumptions about both the centrality and the permeability of gender, and made me recognize myself in a situation Ive never known and have never faced . . . The universality of the astonishingly uncommon: thats the trick of Shes Not There. And with laughs, too. What a good book. Anna Quindlen, from the Introduction to the Book-of-the-Month-Club edition.
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BarbaraTheBibliophage
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Pickpick

This is an excellent memoir on a timely topic. Boylan addresses the psychological, emotional, physical, familial, and practical aspects of transitioning genders. And she does it with humor, subtlety, and grace.

I recommend this book to anyone interested in one person's story about transgender life. The author does an excellent job reading the audiobook.

Scochrane26 This would be a good book for some of my teen clients who want to transition. 2y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @Scochrane26 in some ways, it would. But it also deals with marriage and parenthood a lot, which is probably less relevant for them. 2y
Scochrane26 @BarbaraTheBibliophage Thanks for the info, I was wondering after I said that. 2y
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Eggbeater
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Pickpick

This is a very enlightening book. There are deep personal revelations in this memoir that I think any person can relate and connect to. She tells her story with a lot of empathy towards her loved ones, which is a perspective I also didn't consider, having never met anyone (that I know of) before their transition or during. Hopefully reading this book will help me be a better friend should the need arise.

Trashcanman 🤗😊❤️ 5y
Stacy_31 I‘m reading this right now based on one of your previous posts about it. ❤️ Having only experienced ftm transition with my son, it‘s so interesting to read Jennifer‘s perspective as transitioning during adulthood. 5y
59 likes2 comments
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perfectsinner
Mehso-so

I enjoyed this book quite well, overall. My only small complaint is that it ended so soon after she had her gender reassignment surgery. I would have liked it to have concluded later on in the process (maybe a few years) so I could learn more about how Jenny and Grace's relationship changed once the process was complete and how they reconfigured their lives together.

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Zashikabuta06

Wow. My first transgendered read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Well-written.

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Amiable
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Pickpick

A memoir of a trans woman (born with male physiology, but who has always known she was cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually female) and her gradual transition that led to her decision to have sex-reassignment surgery. It tells her story of growing up transgendered and finding her way to allowing herself to live as the gender she always knew herself to be. Well written with poignancy and humor.

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shmreads

20% done, can't get enough of her humor!

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Angela66

I'm slowly changing from a gay guy to a straight woman.

I need to buy this

#transgender
#changeintowomanhood

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Smrloomis
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I‘m not sure how this book ended up on my radar but I‘m enjoying it so far.

Suet624 I remember liking this book. 6y
Smrloomis @Suet624 I like memoirs about big life changes and so this definitely fits into that. I also like the way she talks about her past life so far. 6y
Cspen113 That‘s an interesting opening! I love it!! 6y
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Zelma It‘s definitely an interesting memoir. I remember liking it as well. 6y
Smrloomis @Cspen113 👍🏽 it‘s really good so far 6y
Smrloomis @Zelma yeah, I just hope I can finish it before it‘s due back to the library! 6y
lovelybookshelf I love all of JFB's memoirs. This one has some outdated language in it but still soooo good! 😍😍😍 6y
Smrloomis @lovelybookshelf I‘m reading a slightly revised version that she did for its 10 year anniversary. She writes that she changed “transgendered” to “transgender” or “trans.” Other than that, she says the book is the same. 6y
lovelybookshelf Yes she chose to otherwise leave the book the same, but some phrasing is still a bit outdated. I think it was a good choice to leave it that way, though. 6y
Smrloomis @lovelybookshelf thanks for the heads up. I don‘t think I know enough to notice that but I‘ll keep it in mind. I‘m not sure I would have noticed the terminology changes if she hadn‘t pointed them out in the introduction to be honest. 6y
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Soubhiville
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Pickpick

I picked this up at a thrift store in TX, never having heard of the author. It‘s really well written, and a great look at what it can be like living as a transgender person. #LGBTQ #Queerbooks

Suet624 I really liked this book. Found it at my library and knew nothing about it. So glad I read it. 7y
MuddyPuddle This is the reason I love Litsy so much – I find out about books I would‘ve never known about otherwise! Thank you. 7y
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Soubhiville
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Today is my Friday, as I‘ve taken a long weekend for Birthday Shenanigans 😜😈.

Can you tell the cats have spotted a fly up in the corner? Lol. And Sietje spends her whole day on Squirrel Alert.

I‘m really enjoying this memoir! It‘s well written and heartfelt. I feel for both the author, who knew they were female inside from the time they were a child, and the wife, dealing with losing the man she loved, but so supportive.

Mdargusch Those cats! Great photo! 7y
MayJasper Wishing you the best of birthdays 😊🎂😊 7y
ValerieAndBooks Have a great birthday weekend 📚🎂📚!! 7y
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AmyG Happy Birthday! 🎈🎂🎁 7y
tjwill Happy birthday! 🎉 7y
JessClark78 Happy Birthday!! 🎊🎂🎉🎈 7y
wanderinglynn Happy happy birthday! 🎉🎂🥂🎶 7y
ptkpepe98 Happy Shenanigans with a side of Tomfoolery!🤗🎂 7y
TheWordJar Happy birthday!!! 🎉🎁🎊🎈🎂 7y
CareBear Happy Birthday!!! ❤️💕🎉🎊🎈 7y
knittedgnome Happy birthday!! Hope you have a wonderful day! Your cats crack me up! My Pippen is always on high alert for bugs, birds, squirrels, and his new enemy the chipmunk. 7y
LeahBergen Happy Birthday! 📚📚📚📚 (and the pets! 😂😂) 7y
Purrfectpages Happy birthday ! 7y
Bookzombie Happy Birthday!!🎉 🎂🎈 7y
77 likes1 stack add15 comments
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Underatree
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Glad I‘ve spent this internship not only working, making calls etc, but also reading as many works by trans and non-binary humans as I can.

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Clwojick
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Bibliogeekery
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Pickpick

I appreciate that this book exists but the writing style didn't completely work for me. Also, I read a lot of trans memoirs and this just wasn't one of the strongest ones for me. I recognize that part of it is when it was written - Jenny's transition is very pathologized by doctors, therapists and her friends and family so I think she ends up pathologizing it too - in a way that made me sad. Continued. . .

Bibliogeekery Her friend Richard Russo is insufferably pedantic, pretentious, selfish and transphobic in his response to Jenny's transition and it was hard to read through his emails and afterward. I was expecting him to redeem himself but really felt that he didn't. 7y
Bibliogeekery I did enjoy the insight into Jenny's family and how they dealt we're her transition. It was tender and raw and sweet. I'm still rating it as a pick because I think it contributes to an important canon #transbooks. 7y
kalinichta I was troubled by Russo's reaction, and even moreso by his afterward. Jenny, and all trans people, deserve better than that. 7y
Bibliogeekery @kalinichta COMPLETELY AGREE! 💕 7y
51 likes1 stack add4 comments
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Bibliogeekery
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Bibliogeekery
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#audiobookwalk quirky garden!

HeatherBookNerd Need to read her earlier memoir to fill in some history. 7y
HeatherBookNerd @Bibliogeekery it was good. She's a great writer. It was super focused on parenting through her transition, and considers the question of how, if at all, gender affects how you parent. There are several interesting mini-interviews with a variety of people about parenting. But she does not spend any time on a more in-depth personal history since she covered it in the other book. 7y
Bibliogeekery @HeatherBookNerd sounds interesting! I'll shave to check it out! Thx! 7y
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Bibliogeekery
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My next audiobook! #transbooks

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Yellowpigeon
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😂

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Yellowpigeon
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Sigh, welcome to the club. #qgp1

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Yellowpigeon
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I wonder why I'm such a show reader. Hmm no idea.#nationalcatday #guardianofwords

tpixie Lol silly kitty!! 7y
Jinjer Tuxedo kitty!!!! 7y
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Yellowpigeon
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So lovely

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bookishbitch
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Just finished watching the 20/20 special with Caitlyn Jenner. Made me remember I have this on my waiting to be read shelf. I cannot even imagine the bravery needed to take the steps to live their authentic lives against so much pushback from society. I hope the publicity helps other Trans people not feel so isolated. As one mother said "I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but I don't want my child to kill themself." Heartbreaking.

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MorganNotMegan
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Mehso-so

This review is mainly just for the audiobook. This is a prime example of when authors should let professional readers be the narrators of their books. The author is a college professor, and she reads the book exactly like a professor doing a reading. It is flat, emotionless, and doesn't really draw you into the prose. The story is very emotional - I just kept disconnecting because she read like Professor Binns at Hogwarts.

IamIamIam Love your comparison to Professor Binns!!!! LOL 8y
Onceuponatime If I see an audiobook has been narrated by the author, it's usually an automatic pass from me. Which is too bad for those books! I understand why an author would want to narrate his/ her own book, especially if it's non-fiction, but I agree...it's is a job best left to professionals. 8y
ramyasbookshelf Audiobooks - to actually enjoy one, everything has to work out right. The writing has to be good, the narrating has to be good.. even if one falters, it is difficult to hold your attention! But what's your opinion about the book? I won't listen to it.. but I'm curious about the book.. is it worth reading? 8y
MorganNotMegan @ramyasbookshelf she did an op-ed for the NYT Modern Love column recently, it reads really similar to the style of the book! It was called "From Best Man To Puzzled Woman" and was only a couple hundred words long, so it'll give you a nice overview. 8y
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2BR02B
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Anyone read this? I'm interested in reading more trans* memoirs, and this one is currently super cheap on Amazon.

MorganNotMegan she did an op-ed for the NYT Modern Love column recently, it reads really similar to the style of the book! It was called "From Best Man To Puzzled Woman" and was only a couple hundred words long, so it'll give you a nice overview. 8y
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Redjewel_7734
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Pickpick

Love this book! It is a wonderful window into the transsexual struggle; although by no means can I say I have a true understanding. Boylan lets the reader into her struggle and a little into the struggle of those around her as she transitions. My heart went out to her & her family & friends; I absolutely loved the unquestioning acceptance of the kids💜

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Redjewel_7734
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ChelseyQuack
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Finally busting this out via audiobook tonight! It's only been on my TBR list for about a hundred years. 💁

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