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Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness
Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness | Elyn R Saks
A much-praised memoir of living and surviving mental illness as well as "a stereotype-shattering look at a tenacious woman whose brain is her best friend and her worst enemy" (Time). Elyn R. Saks is an esteemed professor, lawyer, and psychiatrist and is the Orrin B. Evans Professor of Law, Psychology, Psychiatry, and the Behavioral Sciences at the University of Southern California Law School, yet she has suffered from schizophrenia for most of her life, and still has ongoing major episodes of the illness. The Center Cannot Hold is the eloquent, moving story of Elyn's life, from the first time that she heard voices speaking to her as a young teenager, to attempted suicides in college, through learning to live on her own as an adult in an often terrifying world. Saks discusses frankly the paranoia, the inability to tell imaginary fears from real ones, the voices in her head telling her to kill herself (and to harm others), as well as the incredibly difficult obstacles she overcame to become a highly respected professional. This beautifully written memoir is destined to become a classic in its genre.
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review
CatLass007
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#ReadAway2024 Elyn Saks‘ memoir is compelling. Her history of mental illness began as a child with delusions, although it wasn‘t recognized at the time. As she grew older she developed anorexia. When she participated in an immersive summer abroad, she experimented with marijuana and also tried it once or twice when she returned home. Feeling guilty, she confessed her brief experimentation to her parents, who strongly overreacted, (cont)⬇️

CatLass007 assuming she was a drug addict and forcing her to attend every day after school and on weekends a rather suspect treatment program. Their insistence that all drugs were bad, even taking aspirin for a headache, and that using any kind of medication meant she was weak and was not using enough self-control. At Vanderbilt University she began experiencing hallucinations but hid them from everyone and managed to graduate first in her class. (cont)⬇️ 6mo
CatLass007 Next she attended Oxford University where she earned her doctorate in Philosophy. It was while she was at Oxford that she had her first psychotic break. She sought medical attention but was insistent that she would not, could not, take drugs. She was part of a daily outpatient program where she participated in groups. Eventually she did begin to take prescribed antidepressants and participating in intensive daily psychoanalysis. But she (cont)⬇️ 6mo
CatLass007 eventually stopped taking the medication. This was to be a continuing pattern throughout her life, taking prescribed medication until she felt like she was exerting enough self-control to stop taking medication. Eventually she completed her studies and returned to the US to study law at Yale. She suffered another psychotic break but at Yale Medical, the treatment she received was brutal. She was forced into restraints, injected with (cont)⬇️ 6mo
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CatLass007 anti-psychotics and doctors informed the University that she had to be withdrawn from school for the semester. The rights of the patient in the UK were far superior to the rights of the patient in the US. She eventually earned her JD from Yale and took an adjunct position in Law at a small school in New England. She applied for tenure track positions at over 40 universities and was hired at the University of Southern California, her first (cont)⬇️ 6mo
CatLass007 choice. Eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia, later amended to schizoaffective disorder because of her concurrent depression, she taught classes, published papers, and had a book outline in her portfolio which she presented in her bid for tenure. She achieved tenure and continues to teach and publish. She attempted on many occasions throughout her treatment to wean herself from medication so that she would be in control, not the (cont)⬇️ 6mo
CatLass007 medicine. After decades she finally was able to admit to herself that she had a mental illness and would need to be on medication for the rest of her life. I believe that her denial of the necessity of medication was caused by two factors: the drug treatment program in which she was forced to participate, and her own hubris. For the majority of her life she believed she was too intelligent to have a mental illness. I witnessed the (cont)⬇️ 6mo
CatLass007 same behavior in my mother‘s younger brother. He was an MD and he didn‘t need Lithium. His intelligence combined with his arrogance caused the delusion that he didn‘t need to be medicated. If you or anyone you know has a mental illness, I encourage you to read this book. (edited) 6mo
DieAReader 📚Stacked❤️‍🔥Sounds like a great read! You might also enjoy my current read😏 there‘s a MAX, 4 episode show available as of today about it too. 6mo
CatLass007 @DieAReader Thanks for the rec. This sounds familiar to me. 6mo
DieAReader @CatLass007 🤓Absolutely! It was published in 2020 so, you may have already read it😏 I‘m a little behind🤣🤷🏻‍♀️ 6mo
CatLass007 @DieAReader No, I haven‘t read it. But I‘ve read about it. 6mo
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review
GraesynEngler
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A memorial about an incredibly talented woman struggling with severe and persistent mental illness. You can‘t help but empathize with Elyn as you‘re reading her recount of the events during the onset of her illness and the unique but incredibly successful support she has had since, academia.

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Hooked_on_books
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Elyn Saks is a dynamo: master‘s degree from Oxford, law doctorate from Yale, and all while living with psychosis. Here, she presents a clear-eyed memoir of her life with schizophrenia in a way I think we rarely get to see. It‘s a terrific book—I‘m glad she had the courage to share her story.

ImperfectCJ Ooh! Stacking! My spouse does clinical research on schizophrenia, and he's always looking for first-hand accounts. Even for those who can measure so much of what's going on, it's hard to really get what it feels like to those who live with this condition. 3y
Smrloomis Wow, this sounds fascinating! 3y
Hooked_on_books @ImperfectCJ I think this will be exactly the kind of thing he‘s looking for. She does a terrific job of explaining her reality. It‘s an impressive book! 3y
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Sempernox
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A thought-provoking memoir of a woman‘s experience living with schizophrenia. Dr. Elyn Saks is a brilliant, accomplished scholar who battles the demons of this debilitating disease, as well as the societal stigma of “being mentally ill.” A well-written account of this misunderstood disorder.

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Nalbuque
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This has been on my tbr list forever! Saks is such an admirable academic, that I was afraid this book would be very technical or dense. It absolutely wasn‘t, and it was a very very interesting memoir. Absolutely amazing. We‘ve come a long way, but not fast enough. And still, we are so so behind on how we think abt mental health, chronic illness, and disability. This made me hopeful, but also made incredibly angry. We gotta do better!
#WomenAuthors

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heatherspoetlife
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Just finished this fascinating account of mental illness. My #readharder task 21, main character with a disability. Saks chronicles her life with schizophrenia through discovering her illness, treatment, and relapses as well as getting an ivy league education, her career, and relationships.

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shortsarahrose
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This is a fascinating book. Saks vividly portrays the struggle of psychosis as well as the isolation caused by stigma of severe mental illnesses. She succeeds in her goal of creating empathy for other like herself.

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LoverofLit
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This book was a phenomenal and important read. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

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LoverofLit
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Listening to her treatment in our mental health system in the USA is breathtaking. She was told, even though she had made it all the way to graduate school using outpatient therapy, that what had gone wrong with her was permanent and unfixable. Forcibly restrained for hours until her muscles started to atrophy and medicine forced into her with no contact with her outside therapist who had been handling her care for years, inhumane and ineffective.

LoverofLit She went on to graduate from Yale Law School, become Associate Dean at the University of Southern CA. She's happily married and very much a wonderful contribution to our society. 6y
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LoverofLit
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"While the line between creativity and madness can be razor thin, a fact that has been unfortunately romanticized, examining and experiencing the world in a different way can lead to sharp and fruitful insights."

This book was recommended by a podcast on Mental Health in Pop Culture that I listen to and it is fascinating so far.

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EmilyElizabeth
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Great memoir about mental illness. I didn't know much about schizophrenia or related illnesses and this gave me a new appreciation and understanding of it. Overall, a very well written and personal story of her life.
#NonfictionNovember

CoffeeBooksRepeat Great picture. 8y
EmilyElizabeth @GeraldineReads thank you! 😊 8y
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EmilyElizabeth
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Planning to spend the rest of this stormy evening with this book. I'm only a few chapters in and am totally fascinated. The author is so open and straightforward about her early struggles with what she now knows is schizophrenia, it's so compelling!

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LBertelson
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This memoir about a young woman's 'journey through madness' as she battles with schizophrenia, ultimately triumphing to become a tenured law professor at USC. Beautifully written. I discovered this book when it was assigned to my daughter's literature and psychosis class. She loved it as well.

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