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It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle | Mark Wolynn
A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field "Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. "The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. "It Didn t Start with You" builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of "The Body Keeps the Score." Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood. As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. "It Didn t Start with You" offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. "It Didn t Start With You" is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch."
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moonela
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heatherspoetlife
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Pickpick

I highly recommend this one for anyone having trouble dealing with their family. It was a welcome reminder for me, coming into the holiday season, that I don't own all the things that happened to my family nor their feelings or regrets those things.

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emmalau-lau
Pickpick

I really loved the take of this book on how traumatic experiences can be passed down through generations. I also loved that it walks you through how to identify and begin the healing process of such traumas. The book is super interesting and a helpful tool to look further into your behaviors, why you might act that way, and what influence your family history could have to do with it.

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Shievad
Mehso-so

Cons: 1) the author has no idea what epigenetics is, which would be fine if he had just avoided the topic or very briefly mentioned it. This is not how generational trauma is “passed down”. 2) he puts a lot of blame on the mother, which is a major red flag for me. Pros: I think the core statement exercises can help you pinpoint what your personal triggers are so you can work on them.

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BookedBySunrise
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Pickpick

Helping me realize that my pain is my pain but I'm also reliving generation after generation of trauma surrounding abandonment. My mother abandoned me physically, she felt abandoned by my grandmother emotionally who felt the same way emotionally about my great grandmother who was sent away from the family at the age of 3 . I knew our family history, but this book help me piece it all together and why this keeps happening

30 likes1 stack add
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abbyreadz
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Bailedbailed

This is not the self-help book you think it is! In fact it‘s the least helpful book ever. It‘s a whitewashed, cisgender, heteronormative centered family therapy book. I totally agree that trauma is passed down and we unconsciously repeat toxic patterns from our family members in our personal lives. It‘s just not well written, he does not explain epicene to a enough and advocates for reuniting with a parent even if they abused you.

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Annie1215
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Mehso-so

I was a bit disappointed with this one. Following “The Body Keeps the Score” this just couldn‘t live up for me.

As I continue to work on my own mental health I find all of this very interesting though and will continue to explore.

Tineke Oh I just bought The body keeps the score (and currently reading it) and bought this one too. Did a big order of mental health books. 3y
Annie1215 @Tineke same! These were recommended by a speaker I saw so I wanted to get them. Open to more suggestions! 3y
TheAromaofBooks Great progress!! 3y
57 likes1 stack add3 comments
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rambiepaige
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Biology is weird and inherited trauma is real. Nothing has soothed my anxiety and my frustrations with having anxiety and panic attacks quite like this book has. So far, we like.

IuliaC A very good one! 3y
18 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Cosmos_Moon_River
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One of a deal of fiction and nonfiction about addiction I read last year as my sister was in opioid treatment.

1. https://youtu.be/R1P1g4C-Jjg
2. Officially awarded a new grant today to continue an air quality project at work!

Cosmos_Moon_River This book too.. Actually meant to tag 4y
Megabooks Thanks for the tag! 4y
JacqMac Congratulations on the grant! 4y
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Cosmos_Moon_River @Megabooks you‘re very welcome! 4y
Cosmos_Moon_River @JacqMac thanks! It‘s the biggest one we‘ve gotten yet 🤩 just trying to make the world a better place 🥰 4y
Kelly_the_Bookish_Sidekick Great news on the grant! Congratulations!! 4y
Cosmos_Moon_River @Kelly_the_Bookish_Sidekick Thank you 😍 Now to do the work! 4y
38 likes7 comments
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Cosmos_Moon_River
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So I‘ve been a little MIA the last week. My husband, boys & I took a trip to Wisconsin to visit my family. We‘ve been camping in the north woods, unplugging, visiting my sister & her fiancé & kids, my various sets of parents, my best friend, riding a rollercoaster. We did our best to travel responsibly. Face masks, hand sanitizer, amusement park sanitized between rides, took covid tests before travels. Hope you‘re all happy & healthy! Much love ?

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Cosmos_Moon_River
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Pickpick

Interesting take on how our family history affects our psyche, how we address our family‘s past to resolve issues in our own lives.

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Cosmos_Moon_River
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Searching to make sense of our lives... interesting outlooks so far.

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IuliaC
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Could be a helpful approach in dealing with negative emotions and life patterns. As I haven't read anything else yet on epigenetics and psychogenealogy, it reminded me of Karol Truman's "Feelings buried alive never die", Dr Lazarev's books on karma and Dr Bruce Lipton's "Biology of Belief" (who is actually also mentioned in this book)

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SamanthaMarie
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Breaking the kid lit cycle (mostly because I've finished a bunch of the ones on my TBR the last three days) with this book. Has anyone read it before or anything like it??

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Arbol
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Panpan

Was hoping for a book really explaining the role of epigenetics in trauma. What I got was a book stretching newly discovered, barely studied science to suit his self-help theories.

11 likes1 stack add1 comment