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How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack
How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack | Chuck Sambuchino
16 posts | 8 read | 33 to read
Theres a new threat in town and its only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless garden decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And its here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defence expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognising and interpreting the signs of a gathering horde and in the event that a secured perimeter is breached confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
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iread2much
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Mehso-so

I thought this would be funnier than it was. It was ok, not great. I always thought the goosebumps book with the gnomes looked super scary so I thought this would be fun to read. Not so much. I think the concept is great, but poorly executed

DGRachel What a beautiful pupper! 5y
iread2much @DGRachel thank you! 😊 5y
27 likes2 comments
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Jen2
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Pickpick

I‘m totally prepared!

mypoesoul LOL!!! 🔪 7y
Caroline2 😂 7y
119 likes8 stack adds2 comments
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Jess_Read_This
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🤦🏽‍♀️My garden gnome, Gnomeo, is such a lush. A great wine connoisseur and governor of my #backyard. He's an attack gnome ninja. 🥋🍷

This book sounds absolutely hilarious too. I love garden gnomes and think I might have to locate this book.

#sizzlinsummerbooks #mybackyard #pinotnoir #gardengnome #summahsummahtime #priorownerwasamastergardener #wineoclock #Gnomeo

Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Beautiful ❤️❤️ 7y
Jess_Read_This @Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Thank you! I can't take all the credit. The prior home owner was a retired master gardener! I just try to keep up! 7y
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks @Jess_Read_This you're doing a great job!!! 🌸😊❤️ 7y
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Laura317 I used to have this book! It was cute. 7y
Zelma It took me a moment to find him, but that is an exquisite backyard! 👍😍 7y
Jess_Read_This @Zelma he's a ninja like that and blends in 😂 Thanks for liking my backyard. It's relaxing in the summertime 7y
Jess_Read_This @Laura317 Oh cool! I've added it to my search for list. 7y
Jess_Read_This @Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Awww.. thanks. It's been trial and error in my realizations of "weed" pulling was actually perennial plant pulling ? I'm 80% there with plant identification in my own backyard. Lol! 7y
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks @Jess_Read_This I've had to learn too! The house we bought last year has a lot of flowers and such!! I've pulled out a lot of "weeds" too!! ?? 7y
Merethebookgal Your yard is to pretty! 7y
BarbaraTheBibliophage Gnomeo!! 🤣🤣 He knows how to pick a lovely spot! 7y
erzascarletbookgasm So pretty! 💜 7y
charissharpe What a lovely garden 🌸 7y
Jess_Read_This @thechroniclesofcharis Thank you so much!! It's definitely some work but always worth it when I sit on my deck on a summer night. ☺️ 7y
zsuzsanna_reads Lovely flowers! 🌸❤️🏵️ 7y
Jess_Read_This @zsuzsanna_reads Thank you so much!!! They are such a beast to water some nights though 😂 7y
zsuzsanna_reads Same here! I'm actually grateful for rainy days nowadays... 7y
88 likes1 stack add17 comments
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BookishMarginalia
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Because #whengnomesattack, dinosaurs strike back.

(Can you tell how bored I am with this test proctoring? Thank goodness @gibblr has some interesting stuff in her classroom!)

Bookworm83 So, I'm just curious...why do you proctor other teachers' tests? I'm fascinated by the way other schools work 😀 #teachersoflitsy 8y
BookishMarginalia @Bookworm83 Subject tests are given at the same time, so that means all of a teacher's sections are testing simultaneously in different rooms, hence the need for proctors. 8y
BkClubCare In my state, we have tests requiring an admin and a proctor. Basically, the proctor escorts kids to the restroom; also to make sure there is an adult in the room to get more pencils or when exams are collected to take to the coordinator. 8y
Gina That picture is fantastic. I have this scary need to own that dino!! 8y
Bookworm83 @BookishMarginalia Got it. Hopefully you get some reading time in 😉 8y
126 likes5 comments
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BookishMarginalia
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As seen on @gibblr 's classroom desk 😂 #whengnomesattack

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WanderingBookaneer
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@gibblr bought me these amazing magnets!

MemoirsForMe Cool! 👍🏻 8y
jpmcwisemorgan Oh, I like those. Where might a person find such a thing? 8y
WanderingBookaneer @gibblr : @jpmcwisemorgan has a question for you. 8y
70 likes3 comments
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Hooked_on_books
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After reading @WanderingBookaneer 's posts on this book, I'm very concerned about Manfred, my BF's gnome. Has he been plotting against us all along? I'll be sure to leave some bread outside for him. 😂

WanderingBookaneer 😂😂😂 8y
Melkyl Now that is a gnome I want for my yard 😂 8y
Hooked_on_books @Melwilk We saw it in a hotel during a trip to the Netherlands and it became his mission to find one. He was so happy when I spotted one in Amsterdam. 8y
62 likes3 comments
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WanderingBookaneer
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Pickpick

This is the funniest book I've read in a while. I lost count of how many times I laughed aloud. It's weird, but I highly recommend it.

jpmcwisemorgan Yes, read it!!! 😀 8y
Hooked_on_books Love the picture! 8y
Mimi28 Sounds funny 😊 8y
tpixie Great picture! Glad u survived! 8y
80 likes10 stack adds4 comments
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WanderingBookaneer
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59 likes1 stack add
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WanderingBookaneer
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jpmcwisemorgan I really want to re-read this book. 8y
WanderingBookaneer @jpmcwisemorgan : It's hilarious! 8y
jpmcwisemorgan @WanderingBookaneer Right after I read it my power went out while I was in the shower and I KNEW they were coming for me. 8y
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WanderingBookaneer @jpmcwisemorgan : You should write a testimonial to be included in the next edition! 8y
WanderingBookaneer @jpmcwisemorgan : It should be! 😜 8y
jpmcwisemorgan @WanderingBookaneer I should try. The guy I was dating at the time brought me a heavy duty flashlight because I needed to get ready for work and the garden gnomes were out to get me. It was early in the morning, pre caffeine and shower so I wasn't totally with it. I'm pretty are he thought I was nuts. 😊 8y
50 likes1 stack add7 comments
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WanderingBookaneer
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Hooked_on_books Where did you find this book?!? These quotes are amazing! 😂 8y
WanderingBookaneer @Hooked_on_books : I don't remember how exactly. I know it involved an Amazon search with @gibblr 8y
gibblr Wait, you actually bought this book the day it was on special?!? I'm totally jealous now. Also, I may have a gnome related surprise... 8y
WanderingBookaneer @gibblr : I did! I'll lend you my Kindle or iPad so you can read it. It's a short (106-page) gem. ❤️❤️❤️ Gnome-related surprise! ❤️❤️❤️ 8y
48 likes4 comments
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WanderingBookaneer
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BookishMarginalia 😳😳😳 8y
49 likes1 comment
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WanderingBookaneer
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BookishMarginalia Love this! 8y
45 likes1 comment
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WanderingBookaneer
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jpmcwisemorgan I love this one!!!! 8y
WanderingBookaneer @jpmcwisemorgan : Me too! 😂😂 8y
51 likes3 stack adds2 comments
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WanderingBookaneer
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LeahBergen 😬 8y
EnidBiteEm 😂 8y
38 likes3 stack adds2 comments
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WanderingBookaneer
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Hooked_on_books Oh that book looks hysterical! 😂 8y
48 likes1 comment