Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them): A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying | 
I just found out that aquamation is now legal here! It was part of a bill that passed this July! HB 4116. I never thought I would see the day in this state. I will be sharing this with the community and be sure to bring it up at my Death Cafes. I like to think of it as going in a big dishwasher for a good bath 🤣 This is my first choice for my final disposition and it‘s in my advanced directives.
My Advanced Directives are officially completed and notarized! It feels so good to have this done, and it was fun. Death/Dying are usually not things anyone wants to talk/think about. But we should be. It‘s the most natural thing in the world; we‘re all going to do it one day. So live your most authentic life, & plan ahead. We are not promised the next moment. You‘ll be glad you got your legal documents done, your friends & family will be too.
pickI knew of this book before I asked my hospice coordinator for book recommendations. It was so informative, and written beautifully, gently. Everyone should read it. We will all experience the death of someone we know one day, and we will die, too. This book talks you through all of it, breaking down all the stigma that surrounds it, and helps you start with your own death plan and advanced directives. Highly recommended.
Grief lives in the body. MRI studies show that a grieving brain has a pattern unlike other emotions. Most of the time, an emotion lights up parts of the brain, but grief is distributed everywhere, into areas associated with memory, metabolism, visual imagery, and more. Grief can make you sick; it can be brutal, even deadly. One is coming to grips with what forever means. And we don‘t do that all at once and we don‘t do it one day at a time ⬇️
Jae Rim Lee founded the Infinity Burial Project and the Decompiculture Society. She created a burial shroud that looks like pjs, which contain a mix of mushroom mycelium and other microorganisms. After burial, the mushrooms sprout and speed up decomposition, releasing nutrients to the soil. Very cool!
https://deathcareindustry.com/the-coeio-infinity-mushroom-burial-suit/
The idea behind it—that we are comforted by not having to see the dead body look dead; that we are somehow traumatized by such a sight, and able to find solace only by pretending they are still alive—is not supported by any science, or by history or anthropology, or our own experience. Embalming has been called the art of complete denial.
Shown: embalming in the civil war, the time in which it originated. I find it strange; not what I want.
The corpse is a mirror; we are its reflection.
When I watch snow falling, I see the transformation of the world into a smooth plane where differences disappear. The snow falls in fragments so delicate that a mere breath can destroy them—the way moments fall, the way our life passes by. It covers the earth with something strong and solid and pure. Each of us may be nothing more than a moving wave of change, but we are waves able to know that. We rise and fall in an infinitely deep and
When we allow death to happen, we are not killing people, we are caring for them. We are loving them.
What I don‘t think they realize is that when they pray for a healing, death is a healing…it‘s not the healing that you might want, but as sure as we‘re born, we‘re going to die. And we‘re healed from the troubles of this world.
Dying is psychological work, emotional work, spiritual work.
Smell is the most evocative of senses; the volatile molecules of the world enter us, literally, triggering memory and emotion, desire and disgust.
*when in a space with dying folx, be mindful of smells you bring in. They may not be able to handle them. On another note, my sense of smell is very strong. After having Covid and temporarily lost it, it came back even stronger. I find it fascinating how our brains hold memories tied to smells the
In Japan, there is an entire tradition of painting called Kusōzu—-which shows the 9 stages of a decaying corpse. It originated in the 14th century and was still developing in the 18th century.
How cool is this?!
Link for more insight: https://www.historytoday.com/history-matters/art-corpse
The ancient Romans sometimes only said of a dead person, “Vixit”—-“He has lived.” The Laymi people of Bolivia say that a dead person has “gone to cultivate chili pepper.” This could tell us, I suppose, that people have always avoided the subject.
*if you‘ve never gone to a death cafe, you should! It‘s a space for a conversation about all things death, without stigma. Educational, supportive. Go to deathcafe.com to find one near you!
pickA comprehensive guide to all humans for one‘s own death and those around you. Reflecting on the authors experience as a palliative care nurse and her own loss, Sallie Tisdale goes over what death can look like, how to pick a healthcare representative, and that grieving is not a linear line but one‘s own journey!
Life is a dangerous situation. It is the frailty of life that makes it precious. The china bowl is beautiful because sooner or later it will break…the life of the bowl is always existing in a dangerous situation. Such is our struggle: this precarious beauty. This inevitable wound. We forget—how easily we forget—that love and loss are intimate companions, that we love the real flower so much more than the plastic one, love the evanescence of
pickDespite the title saying practical, past experiences had me thinking it would be more philosophical, but much of it was very practically based in supporting a dying person. I'm not currently in this situation, but glad I read it now with a clear head & can keep as reference material. Now to sit down with my husband & make clear death plans. I thought I had a clear idea & people around me would know my thoughts/intentions...(continued in comments)
pickA beautifully written book that explores our perceptions of and traditions around death and dying.
A light bit of reading 😬 Here's the thing: death scares me. And the recent passing of my stepfather has shaken us. It's easy to think we have all the time in the world to do the stuff we want. But, we just don't. So, instead of planning to do things next year/ next month/next week, do them today 🙋
Just started this yesterday. Very different from what I normally read but quite interesting!
