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Expecting Adam
Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic | Martha Beck
7 posts | 8 read | 8 to read
"He says you'll never be hurt as much by being open as you have been by remaining closed." The messenger is a school janitor with a master's in art history who claims to be channeling "from both sides of the veil." "He" is Adam, a three-year-old who has never spoken an intelligible word. And the message is intended for Martha Beck, Adam's mother, who doesn't know whether to make a mad dash for the door to escape a raving lunatic (after all, how many conversations like this one can you have before you stop getting dinner party invitations and start pushing a mop yourself?) or accept another in a series of life lessons from an impeccable but mysterious source. From the moment Martha and her husband, John, accidentally conceived their second child, all hell broke loose. They were a couple obsessed with success. After years of matching IQs and test scores with less driven peers, they had two Harvard degrees apiece and were gunning for more. They'd plotted out a future in the most vaunted ivory tower of academe. But the dream had begun to disintegrate. Then, when their unborn son, Adam, was diagnosed with Down syndrome, doctors, advisers, and friends in the Harvard community warned them that if they decided to keep the baby, they would lose all hope of achieving their carefully crafted goals. Fortunately, that's exactly what happened. Expecting Adam is a poignant, challenging, and achingly funny chronicle of the extraordinary nine months of Martha's pregnancy. By the time Adam was born, Martha and John were propelled into a world in which they were forced to redefine everything of value to them, put all their faith in miracles, and trust that they could fly without a net. And it worked. Martha's riveting, beautifully written memoir captures the abject terror and exhilarating freedom of facing impending parentdom, being forced to question one's deepest beliefs, and rewriting life's rules. It is an unforgettable celebration of the everyday magic that connects human souls to each other.
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iread2much
Panpan

To be fair, this is not a book I would ever read on my own #litsylovewritenbooks. I found the story to be boring, full of details about pregnancy and digs at Harvard that the author didn‘t find ironic (she hates Harvard but mentions she went to Harvard every chapter. She could have stopped name dropping at any time). Yay ? for the author for finding her son to be magical, but I did not enjoy this at all and would never recommend it to anyone

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BarbaraBB
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Pickpick

Martha Beck and her husband John live according to plan, led by the rules of Harvard and the implicit ones of growing up in Mormon Utah. Everything changes when Martha gets pregnant with Adam. All ratio must make room for angels and miracles. Everyday magic, as Martha calls it is this memoir, alternates by extreme anxiousness I don‘t know what to believe but it‘s a wonderful story about love and motherhood.

BarbaraBB @Suet624 thank you for this beautiful book. I Googled Martha afterwards and she is quite a special woman, controversial even maybe, but I loved getting to know her. And who would ever want to go to Harvard after reading this book??? 4y
squirrelbrain Sounds fascinating! 4y
Suet624 Haha. I never once suspected her experiences as not being real. But you‘re absolutely right - who would want to go to Harvard after reading this book??!! 4y
Megabooks Fantastic review! 4y
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kspenmoll
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#loveprevails #motherslove

https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/first/b/beck-adam.html

Read this book when it was published in 1999. My son was 5,but memories of my pregnancy & his early birth(3 & 1/2 weeks) were still fresh.I did have amnio due to my age, which came back negative for Down‘s Syndrome.We felt a sense of relief at the time.The same year that I read the book,we got Robert‘s definitive diagnosis of Autism. 💙💚🧡

Eggs ❤️🧩 📚 🧩 ❤️ 4y
BarbaraBB I just received a copy of this book by the lovely @Suet624. As a mother too I think it will be a deeply moving read ❤️ 4y
Suet624 Wow, Katherine. I mentioned earlier that I thought of you a lot as I read this book. I didn‘t realize you‘d had an amnio. I just reread the first two chapters from the link that you included. I forgot how often her sense of humor came through in her writing. 4y
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kspenmoll @Suet624 I was terrified to be pregnant; chronic pain from major car accident, still unable to sit much. My doctor reassured me that I was so used to pain that I wouldn‘t notice. I really thought I could not cope with. Downs child with all my physical issues. Hence, amnio. I wanted to prepare... so my pregnancy was a pain free time( hormones I was told), Robert was early due to his 4y
kspenmoll Twin huge fibroid pressing his head. But he was fine. His Autism has challenged us, made me stretch and grow , reach deep within for a strength I never knew was there. 4y
Suet624 You are a great mom. I love seeing all the things you do together. ❤️❤️ 4y
kspenmoll @Suet624 💕💕 4y
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BarbaraBB
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What a wonderful and thoughtful surprise arrived today dear Sue 🤍. This book sounds so good and of course you know exactly what I like, since we mostly have similar taste. I just reread your review and I can‘t wait to read it. Thank you so much 🥰😘

Suet624 I‘m so glad it arrived. 😁 beck could have cut a bit out of the book but overall it‘s a good one. It definitely makes you never want to go to Harvard. It shed some light on why my dad always seemed overly anxious. 4y
BarbaraBB @Suet624 I am always a bit fascinated by Harvard so that part of the story really appeals to me, as does the pregnancy. Did your father attend Harvard? Impressive! 4y
Suet624 Yes, my dad went to Harvard. My mom went to Smith College. Both very smart and yet none of their three kids went to college. I ran away from home and never finished high school. 4y
BarbaraBB @Suet624 Really? There is quite a story. 4y
61 likes4 comments
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Suet624
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Pickpick

The author writes of her life as she physically struggles through a pregnancy which she eventually discovers during her 5th month is a son with Downs Syndrome. More than that though this is a story of the literal presence of angels, love-filled light, and miracles. I‘ve had similar experiences and it was lovely to read of hers. With humor throughout, it‘s a good reminder of what‘s really important and what‘s available to each of us. #bookspin

TheAromaofBooks Great review!! 4y
BarbaraBB This sounds wonderful again! 4y
kspenmoll Wonderful review! Read this ages ago- you make me want to reread it! 4y
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Suet624 @kspenmoll this seems exactly like a book you would like. I thought of you a lot. 4y
BarbaraBB You did have similar experiences? When you were pregnant too? This book must have meant so much to you, to read about them. 4y
Suet624 @BarbaraBB no, not when I was pregnant, just randomly throughout my life. 4y
BarbaraBB So you must recognize what she writes. And of course you don‘t doubt her. I didn‘t either until I lost myself in Google. Shouldn‘t have done that 🤷🏻‍♀️ 4y
Suet624 @BarbaraBB Oh weird. I've never done a google dive on her. Wasn't/isn't she Oprah's life coach? How weird can you be if Oprah believes in you? I appreciate you sharing your quiet skepticism though. This world is a strange and magical place. 4y
Suet624 @BarbaraBB I just did a Goodreads look-see. Holy cow. Some people really hated the book. And yet it still has a good rating (as least in my opinion!). To each their own. 4y
57 likes2 stack adds9 comments
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jobooy
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Pickpick

An uplifting memoir about a Harvard PHD student expecting a Down syndrome baby in the 90's. Colleagues in a high-achieving, perfection striving environment assume she will abort, but an unaccountable force compels her to keep Adam. I loved the author's wit and candor, she tells her story really well. This is laugh-out-loud funny but poignant and real at the same time. I found the use of the R-word jarring but maybe that was still ok in 1999.

tpixie It was an awesome book. I gave it to two Dr moms worth downs kids and they loved it also. 8y
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anaussiebookworm
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I can't wait to read this one one day soon! 😍

tpixie Do read it. It will move you! 8y
3 likes1 comment