"... he offered her a piece of Trident gum, and Gretchen- he had to stop and smile at the adorableness of this- Gretchen had asked him to tear the piece of Trident in half because it was too big for her. "Can you believe that?" he marveled. A girl so feminine and perfect that half a piece of Trident was the most she could handle.
I tried to process what this meant for my evening.
"So... you and I will not be dry humping, then?"
#WorstDateEver
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