Welcome to Litsy!

He was handsome and Hungarian. We were sitting at the same table at a Christmas party and I overheard his cute foreign accent. My hazel eyes met his bright blue eyes and we instantly had a connection. Three nights later, we had our first date. We were almost inseparable after that. He was my first serious relationship. Because of his immigration status, we got married just nine short months later. And then a year after that, we got married again. I truly believed I had met the man of my dreams. The man I would spend forever with. Nearly 10 years into the relationship, however, my world was turned upside down. Not only was my husband verbally and emotionally abusive, I had no idea who I was anymore. I was married to a narcissist (I believe he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder) who had been calling the shots the entire time we were married. Looking back on our relationship, it's evident that he was doing this from day one. But I didn't realize this until it was too late. (When you're wearing rose colored glasses, you can't recognize red flags.) It never occurred to me that I was a victim of domestic violence. He wasn't physically abusive, so I didn't think I was being abused. I had always associated abuse with being physical. I didn't know my relationship was toxic because I'd never had a serious relationship before and had nothing to compare it to. I thought I was just overly sensitive and asking for too much in my marriage. I thought he was just an alpha male with an anger problem. We had two small children together and I felt like I was failing as a mother. And a wife. My life lacked purpose and there were days I didn't even feel like living. At this point in my life, I was just going through the motions and praying that things would get better. I was miserable. But instead of wallowing in my misery, I confronted it. I finally worked up the courage to leave the relationship. I had pondered doing this for two years after my husband had been unfaithful. I had forgiven him and thought we could work past it, but when things got worse, I made the excruciating decision to file for divorce. I wondered if I was making the right decision. I didn't want to be a divorce statistic. Ending my marriage wasn't what I wanted to do; it was what I needed to do. When I left, I took the 15 most important lessons I learned from marriage, motherhood and divorce with me; lessons that I committed myself to sharing with other women so they wouldn't experience the same fate that I did. These lessons are meant to guide women through their personal and romantic relationships, as well as their relationship with themselves. In my first non-fiction memoir, Dear Me, I've Missed You, I discuss everything from how to communicate better in your relationships to how to argue in a healthier way to stopping the guilt surrounding self-care. I touch on how to be a better partner and mother, as well as how to nurture yourself as an individual outside of your other relationships. It is my hope that by sharing these lessons, other women will feel empowered and inspired to take their lives back. To discover and embrace who they truly are. To live their lives unapologetically and turn every gut-wrenching breakdown into a life-changing breakthrough.