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#menapause
review
monalyisha
All Fours | Miranda July
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Pickpick

I‘m supposed to have strong feelings about this, right? But, I guess…sometimes I liked it a whole lot (eg, “I stood holding the note with that funny little abandoned feeling one gets a million times a day in a domestic setting. I could have cried, but why?”) and sometimes I felt like rolling my eyes — HARD (eg, “The future itself was another lover, reaching backward in time to cup my balls”). I bet Miranda July gets that a lot. 👇🏻

monalyisha 1/6: I neither loved it nor hated it — or…maybe, I loved AND hated it. But “love” feels too strong a word for a reaction to isolated sentences or thoughts and not to a whole. To love well, you‘ve got to love a person (or a book) in their wholeness. 7d
monalyisha 2/6: You can‘t make them excise pieces of themselves to earn your love. You have to just figure out a way to embrace them and let them be — or at least find the “them” that you love *inside of* the thing you don‘t like; each trait has a negative and a positive expression. But I don‘t really want to let certain things in this novel just “be.” I‘d rather they weren‘t there. 7d
monalyisha 3/6: And actually, I know July lost a lot of people with the tampon scene…but she lost me (and then roped me back in, and then lost me again, ad infinitum) when the narrator was preparing for “the dance.” I kept thinking, “This is *still* happening? All of this? Really?” I want to use the term “self-indulgent” but it feels bad. 7d
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monalyisha 4/6: Usually, I feel like women aren‘t allowed to indulge themselves often enough; that‘s a huge part of July‘s whole point (and one that I agree with)! But in the particular case of this novel, I was definitely left wondering if short stories would be a better format for her. And then I remembered that she‘d published a (?) collection already, which has been languishing on my shelf for the better part of a decade. 7d
monalyisha 5/6: So, I‘m sorry for thinking that July is “too much” and for trying to make her smaller…but maybe I should stop apologizing? And also stop ending my sentences with questions? Unapologetic confidence! Let the (book review) world *beg* to cup my balls! 7d
monalyisha 6/6: I know, for certain, that I found this compulsively readable. And I appreciate that the MC neither drives nor flies (nor parks) at the end. She walks. That feels like the character growth we all needed. 7d
ChaoticMissAdventures The Barnes and Noble in my MI's picked this for their October book club and her and I talked about it a lot - a lot about this "too much" idea and what women are "allowed" to do. She was so excited, 7 or 8 people had signed up with her and she wanted to talk about her evolution in thinking about the book. When she got there every single other person bailed and it was just her and the B&N manager! She said they still had a good talk. 7d
Sparklemn The tampon scene was unbearable but I was dying to learn how it all turned out. Glad I finished it. (edited) 7d
monalyisha @ChaoticMissAdventures I picked it for my book club (back at the end of last year; we plan a whole year out). I foresee the rest of the book club members/my friends being mad at me about it — and saying “Nope” a lot. 😅 But maybe they‘ll surprise me! What sorts of things did your MIL have to say? (edited) 6d
monalyisha @Sparklemn I understood the intimacy she was/they were after (and the boundaries that were being intentionally transgressed; didn‘t Fifty Shades notoriously do something similar?). I think it was once she was back at home and still obsessing, with no end in sight, that I became the most uncomfortable and frustrated as a reader. 6d
ChaoticMissAdventures @monalyisha she was really glad she pushed herself! This is not the type of book she would normally read but she is trying to not be in a rut since retiring. She had a lot of the same feelings as you, the thought of what women are allowed to do, even in fiction, also the comparison of male mid life crisis vs perimenopause. She was also super interested in the sexual aspect, how the MC and the guy have a sensual relationship w/o actual sex. 6d
57 likes1 stack add11 comments
review
Darklunarose
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Bailedbailed

Having been warned about the anti trans sentiments in this book I‘m choosing to send it back without reading.

ravenlee Good to know; unstacking this now. 1w
Darklunarose @ravenlee I honestly wish that books had warning labels, and/or there was a website where you could find a list of books that are full of undesirable things….like transphobia, homophobia, etc. 1w
Clare-Dragonfly Yiiiiiikes. Off my list for sure. Thanks for the heads up. 1w
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Darklunarose @Clare-Dragonfly all thanks to @Bookwomble for the heads up! 1w
BookishMarginalia Thank you for letting us know. Off my list too. 1w
Deblovestoread Thanks for the heads up. 1w
lil1inblue How disappointing. But good info to know. 1w
49 likes7 comments
blurb
Darklunarose
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I have been wanting to read this for a long time….going to try a chapter every so often and get it down. I‘m close to my crone era.

Clare-Dragonfly I‘ve been curious about this book. Let us know how you like it! 1w
Bookwomble If you are Trans supportive, please be aware that this author is not, and that reviewers say one of the chapters in this book explicitly reflects that. 1w
Darklunarose @Bookwomble I‘m sitting here with the book open and about to start it this morning. Thank you so much for this warning. I‘m more than just passively supportive of the trans community, I‘m ferociously supportive. I have people in my circle who are trans. I refuse to do anything that would not be supportive. This one is now going in the discard pile. Thank you so much for that! I don‘t do abelism, lgbtqia hate, racism, misogyny, etc. 1w
Bookwomble @Darklunarose 🩵🩷🤍💖 I was reading a different book by this author and struggling with the writing style, so looked up reviews to check how others found it, and then saw the comments about this book, which were generally positive about the content until the terfy chapter, when many people bailed. Sad, but there are undoubtedly other books on the subject that are more inclusive ✊ 1w
Darklunarose @Bookwomble im going to keep looking. At 46 im sure im close to perimenopause…..and id like something from a spiritual side as i move into my crone era to read. But not at the cost of terf bs. 1w
51 likes5 comments
review
NatalieR
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Pickpick

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and found it incredibly helpful. It‘s a pleasure to learn about menopause from someone who has personally experienced it. Naomi covers the most common aspects of menopause, and I particularly appreciate her discussion of clothing, makeup, diet, exercise, skincare, and brain health. It was surprising to learn that menopause impacts every aspect of a woman‘s life.

Full Review abookandadog.com/blog/dare-i-say-it

75 likes2 stack adds
review
Gadolby
All Fours | Miranda July
Pickpick

This is a wild story. Bizarre, unique, totally worth the read. Sometimes cringey, but also revelatory. It has an unabashedly earnest and honest voice about what it is like to lose yourself in middle age as a woman—sexuality, madness—all of it

blurb
Lands

Second session talk of Dr Mary Claire Haver, Dr Stacy Sims , Dr Vonda Wright and Dr Natalie Crawford talking about women‘s health, peri, menopause and strength training. https://youtu.be/P1CeHGJOX5g?si=xX-piSa3K2V73yTz

review
Julsmarshall
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Pickpick

This had a lot of great information, well researched and cited and delivered in an accessible way. If you are a person with a uterus of a certain age, I recommend checking this one out.

46 likes1 stack add
blurb
Sharpeipup
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As seen during a recent #audiowalk 🌭

Sparklemn 😂 2mo
Meshell1313 So fun! 2mo
MemoirsForMe Cher is going to be so jealous! As I am! 😁🌭❤️ 1mo
38 likes1 stack add4 comments
review
mariaku21
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Mehso-so

Overall the book is a bit of a mixed bag. It's a bit autobiography, a bit helpful advise, and a bit of medical information, with some slice of life moments from a mom with kids.

I went into this not knowing much and came out with some good information to ask on my next Dr. visit and an interest to learn more on menopause. I'm at an age where I want to know and need to so I can better prepare.
#popsugarreadingchallenge

mariaku21 @ChaoticMissAdventures I haven't but I'm willing to check it out 😄 2mo
ChaoticMissAdventures @mariaku21 okay so in perfect example for Doppelganger, I read that your book was by Naomi Wolfe, not Naomi Watts, and Doppelganger is all about how Naomi Klein keeps getting confused for Naomi Wolfe, and that is way too many Naomis, and you can ignore my recommendation 😂 2mo
17 likes3 comments
review
Billypar
All Fours | Miranda July
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Pickpick

How much you like All Fours may depend on whether you see a hidden thesis statement about relationships in middle age. But I don't think July wrote any lessons - in fact, it probably took a concerted effort to avoid them. The strange journey the main character takes, if not objectively realistic, felt true to people's struggles to reconcile sexual and relationship needs when they diverge. And way more interesting than the usual cheating narrative.

TheKidUpstairs Great review. I read this one with Camp Litsy last summer, and was fully prepared to hate it - instead I loved it. It was definitely a marmite book, people had VERY strong opinions! 3mo
TheBookHippie @TheKidUpstairs me 😝🎯 I HATED it. 🤦🏻‍♀️ It was a love or hate reaction from readers, I think too. 3mo
BarbaraBB Great review. I loved it too! 3mo
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AmyG Yes. Well said. I enjoyed it, too. It was wild. 3mo
Billypar @TheKidUpstairs Yeah, this one definitely fits into what you mentioned about Bunny. I expected to like it but not as much as I did. Polarizing books are always interesting to me. I know the main character was a dealbreaker for a lot of the bad reviews - not sure if that was true in your case @TheBookHippie ? 3mo
TheBookHippie @Billypar I think it was an insult to women, and a dangerous premise to say this is what women are at this stage. I abhorred the main character yes, but advertising this and publicizing it as how and what women want and are at this stage of life in the climate we are living in is both dangerous and an insult. That was my bigger issue. I found it distasteful on all levels. (edited) 3mo
44 likes6 comments