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Curses!
Curses! | J.A. Kazimer
3 posts | 3 read | 2 to read
I'm no hero. In fact, up until a couple of days ago, I was the villain. Kidnapped maidens, scared kids, stole magic tchotchkes--until I got into a little scrape with the union. Now I'm cursed with the worst fate in New Never City--no matter what I do, I gotta be nice. So when a head-case princess named Asia barges into my apartment and asks me to find out who whacked her stepsister, Cinderella, I have no choice but to help her. And I'm more than willing to head back to her parents' castle and do some investigating if it means I can get into her black leather cat suit. Except this twisted sister has a family nutty enough to send the Biggest Baddest Wolf running for the hills--and a freaky little curse of her own. . . "More than f***ed-up. Demented. Hilarious." --Mario Acevedo, author of Werewolf Smackdown
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Amiable
Curses! | J.A. Kazimer
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I need suggestions since I usually default to the actual curse words. 😬
But also “Oh, for the love of God and Cheezits.” 😀

Tamra “Lord love a duck” 😜 1y
wanderinglynn “Cheeses crusty, got all musty, got damp on the stone of a peach.” From 1y
AmyG When my kids were little our word was…”schnikes” (pronounced shnikeys). (edited) 1y
See All 44 Comments
quietlycuriouskate I sometimes call people who get me riled up "ferruginous cherts". It's especially good for politicians! (I think it is actually a geological term.) 1y
wanderinglynn And my niece, who has Down syndrome, used to yell “fish nuggets!” when she was mad. 1y
wanderinglynn And if you need an insult, troglodyte is always a good one. You can really turn anything into an alt curse word. In my NaNo story I‘m writing, one of the characters “swears” by using high end fashion houses. Ex: “for the love of Prada!” (edited) 1y
CSeydel For whatever reason, when my kids were young, I started blurting out “Sharp Cheddar Cheese!” as an exclamation of frustration (which they found hilarious) 1y
IndoorDame Supposedly when my mother was a child her father used to yell ostkaka which is actually Swedish for cheesecake, though I‘m guessing he thought it was an actual Swedish curse since he wasn‘t the one in that family who spoke the language 1y
Sharpeipup Uffda - thanks to living in Minnesota
1y
dabbe Holy synecdoche! (sih-NEK-də-kee) Or my less literary one: Holy guacamole! I guess the “holy“makes me feel like I'm sorta bringing religion in it, but I'm not! #really 🤩 1y
CatLass007 I just finished listening to the audiobook of Terraformers. There are some marvelous insults and curse words in it. I didn‘t think to write them down. 1y
mom2bugnbee My husband yells "You cretin!" when he needs to aim his frustration at someone, like when someone cuts him off in traffic. My frustration phrase is "for the love..." but I don't finish it, & leave it to the imagination. ? 1y
BarbaraJean I often use “Shiitake mushrooms!” as a curse. My husband sometimes says “crapenhagen,” which always makes me laugh. I used to use the name of my orchestra stand partner as a curse: “Dan Bennet!” (edited) 1y
Amiable @wanderinglynn I am in love with “fish nuggets” 😄 1y
Amiable @BarbaraJean Ha ha! What did Dan Bennett do to deserve being immortalized as an alternative curse word? Sounds like a story! 😀 1y
Amiable @dabbe @amyg I sometimes use “holy schnitzel” which is also almost biblical but not really at all. 😀 (edited) 1y
Amiable @quietlycuriouskate That‘s a good one! If I can remember how to pronounce it. 😀 (edited) 1y
Amiable @Tamra That one has a word that strays dangerously close to being one I shouldn‘t yell at work! 😄 1y
wanderinglynn @Amiable if you want to make it more fun, you can say “holy fish nuggets” which is what her bff would exclaim. 1y
Amiable @Sharpeipup I love uffda! My in-laws live in Minnesota, so I‘ve heard that one. Although I tend to use it to express exhaustion or disbelief rather than irritation or frustration. Is it a multipurpose word? 😀 1y
Amiable @wanderinglynn I‘m totally adding that to my lexicon. 😄 1y
Amiable @IndoorDame Ha ha! That‘s awesome! 😄 1y
Amiable @CSeydel Cheese is such a good one! I‘m thinking “Asiago!” would also be a suitable alternative. 😀 1y
wanderinglynn This is a great thread! I have enjoy reading all these alt curses & will definitely be adding a few to my vocabulary. Thanks @Amiable 😀 1y
Susanita Sugarplum fairy! 1y
Amiable @wanderinglynn I need all the help I can get because I honestly have a mouth like a drunken sailor. 😀 1y
Aimeesue @dabbe Holy synecdoche just makes me want to say Holy Schenectady, which I‘m obviously to use now. 😂 1y
Sharpeipup My husband wants to add “mother trucker” 1y
dabbe @Amiable Now I have “schnitzel with noodles“ running through my head! 🤣 1y
dabbe @Aimeesue Your spelling ROCKS! That's essentially what I'm saying, right? 1y
dabbe @Sharpeipup That's a keeper! 🤩 1y
Amiable @Sharpeipup That‘s definitely going on the list along with fish nuggets. 😄 1y
GondorGirl My phone likes to auto-correct a certain F swear to "duck!", so now I just say duck. ? I also like to use swears from books, like "blood and bones!" Or "stars above! V 1y
Ruthiella I like saying “Oh mis gatos” (oh my cats)! 1y
CBee @Amiable didn‘t I say the cheezit one? I‘m so goofy 😂😂 1y
CBee @Amiable there was also holy shrimp and grits 😁 I remember when my oldest was little and he just randomly said “OH, PANTS!” So that‘s popular around here 😂😂😂 1y
Amiable @CBee I ❤️ “OH, PANTS!” So, so much. 😄 1y
CBee @Amiable 😁😁😁 1y
Aimeesue @dabbe I‘m from Western MA, and Schenectady, NY was fairly nearby, so that‘s immediately where my head goes when I hear synecdoche. I‘m sure that drove all our HS English teacher nuts. 😂 1y
dabbe @Aimeesue The 1st time I pronounced it (as a young teacher no less), I said SIN-uh-doshe. Yep. Rhode Scholar over here! 🤣 Until I was gently corrected by my department chair. Oy! 😱 1y
Aimeesue @dabbe Hey, you don‘t know until you know! And if you mispronounce a word you‘re using correctly, that only means you learned it from reading. Def can be embarrassing, though! 📖 (edited) 1y
dabbe @Aimeesue I'm glad I can laugh about it now at my age. Such an unimportant thing in this crazy world of life. 1y
BarbaraJean @Amiable Honestly, it was his name more than anything else!! I don't think he ever knew that I used his name as a curse word among other friends! He came off as an oddly serious guy but showed a little deadpan humor from time to time. Maybe he would have appreciated knowing it, but it was kind of more fun that he didn't. 😆 1y
Aimeesue @dabbe Indeed! 1y
47 likes44 comments
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Sharpeipup
Curses! | J.A. Kazimer
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If you‘re looking to protect your books from torn pages & other abuse...#savethebooks #litsyhumor

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/protect-your-library-the-medieval-way-with...

sprainedbrain 😂😂😂 6y
18 likes1 comment
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youngreadrshelf
Curses! | J.A. Kazimer
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Curse you, B&N! *shakes fist* was trying to avoid going in there and spending more money, but then they send me this gift card for being a good customer. You know I can't just spend $10.

Coleen They DO know that. Which is why they send the cards. We're such suckers! 😜 8y
Graciouswarriorprincess Lucky you! We are suckers! I hope that I get one. Crossing fingers. 8y
36 likes2 comments