the pain has a meaning, when we are born we are a rough block of wood. The pain we go through this life, is the hand of God carving us, shaping us. The carving feels bad, but it's forming us into a cup that can hold more as each stroke of pain carves another rough piece of us away. Then we have more space to hold things. Eventually, the walls of the cup get thinner until they disappear and you spill into the space beyond the cup. You become life.