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This had the feel of an old fairy tale, and the writing made me think of Le Guin‘s Earthsea and Dragon‘s Winter Elizabeth A Lynn. I do think that the use of action beats to break dialogue, and the use of other dialogue tags besides 'says‘ would improve the writing. 'Says‘ was used even when the dialogue was a question. I found this annoying at first, but the story itself was so engaging that I soon put it out of mind.
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