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The All-Or-Nothing Marriage
The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work | Eli J. Finkel
4 posts | 4 read | 3 to read
"After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now..."--Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages--from the "traditional" to the utterly nontraditional--and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marraige from 1620 to 1850 were food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marraige has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try "lovehacks." This is a book for the newlywed to the empy nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.
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thea-block
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Doing some research for a presentation on healthy marriages & parenting! (Also personal research... my husband‘s and my first baby due this July!🤰🏻)

Lots of shared quotes and facts, but different perspectives - memoir, self help, theory.

-The All-Or-Nothing Marriage by Finkel ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
-And Baby Makes Three by Gottman ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
-Babyproofing Your Marriage by Cockrell ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
-How To Not Hate Your Husband After You Have Kids by Dunn ⭐️⭐️⭐️

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DocBrown
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‘Nobody would seek to be successful at playing the violin by waiting for the right instrument to come along, but many of us seek to be successful at relationships by waiting for the right partner to come along.‘ Wow, I needed that!

review
DocBrown
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Pickpick

Quick read in stolen moments, like this one on the train from Santa Fe. This is a good but not great book that synthesizes recent psychological research. It argues for a new cultural paradigm visualizing Maslow‘s hierarchy as a 3-D ‘mountain‘ instead of a 2-D pyramid. Interesting and useful concept, as he makes the case that marriages need not always be focused on those ‘mountain-top experiences.‘ A ‘good-enough‘ marriage is often good enough.

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The_Real_Nani
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Reading an ARC from #NetGalley. I'm enjoying so far the exploration into the history of marriage, and finding vindication for my belief that your spouse can't meet all your emotional needs, nor should they be expected to!