Cashier at Barnes & Noble: I've been meaning to read this.
Me: I know right? It has dragons and romance! My two favorite things!
In a text to my boyfriend after looking up the ending when stuff got weird: "The irrational part of me feels tainted by this bad book, horrified by its fantastic reviews online, and terrified that if this is what literature holds for me I have no future. Why am I insane." Bailed majorly.