Obviously we still hoped. Dear God, how we hoped.
You forget what it feels like to have fallen apart once you've pieced yourself back together, what the scars feel like once they've healed. You know, vaguely, where they were, how the fresh cuts had stung, but you can't run your finger over the surface anymore and say, 'Here. Here's where you hurt me.' The pain will eventually dull. But not yet.