"But the real difficulty is, I feel dwarfed by our lives. They loom disproportionately large. We painted on a broader canvas than we deserved.."
Journey, not the story. This one here will take you too long, or you are not really reading it. It won't give you an answer in the end, just as it has not given Jasper any.. it's all about the head-banging process of figuring out.. or maybe the realisation that there's no figuring out.