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IndoorDame
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TheBookHippie 💔 1mo
Eggs 🤍💔🖤 1mo
dabbe 🩶🧡🩶 1mo
56 likes4 comments
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LiseWorks
Diary | Witold Gombrowicz
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Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks ❤️❤️❤️ 1mo
Eggs 💚🌳🩷 1mo
26 likes2 comments
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BarbaraJean
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#KindredSpiritsBuddyRead #LMMJournals

LMM includes lots of details on her inspiration for places, people, and events in AoGG (pp. 348-356) and AoA (pp. 356-7), a little about Kilmeny (p. 357), and then details on Story Girl (p. 316 and pp. 404-408).

📚What do these details add to your reading of these books?
📚What do they offer you in understanding more about LMM and her writing?

TheAromaofBooks I definitely enjoyed hearing about some of her inspirations - I also felt like some of her explanations were in the nature of making sure people understand who/what were NOT inspirations 😂 I really love the way that LMM (and many authors) are able to pull threads from different aspects of life and weave them into a different story. 2mo
BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Haha—yes, it felt like there was a lot of “setting the record straight“ going on! As well as wanting to record it for posterity. So much of this third volume (her third volume, not the third published volume... I REALLY wish the editors had split up the journals in the same way LMM did!!) has felt like she's writing for an imagined future audience as much as she's keeping a journal for herself. 2mo
BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Also, all her details about which stories come from her own family lore really adds a lot to my view of Story Girl. Knowing it was such a beloved book to LMM, and with these added details about the sources for the stories... I'm really looking forward to re-reading it with that added lens! I also love knowing that she didn't think very highly of Kilmeny as a book 😆 2mo
lauraisntwilder That was an interesting section. I've been making notes of all the times something reminds me of her books. The way she talks about her home in Cavendish, for example, is so much like Pat. They didn't burn down the house, but her leaving felt just as final. 2mo
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BarbaraJean
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#KindredSpiritsBuddyRead #LMMJournals

📚Now that we‘ve read further into LMM‘s adult life, what aspects of her personality stand out to you that maybe you hadn‘t noticed before?
📚What picture do you get of who she is and what she was like as a person?

TheAromaofBooks I've always known she was very proud/a bit of a snob, and I feel like that is definitely true. The whole section towards the end where she is telling about her family history and connections, even the part where she was summarizing the neighbors - she definitely ranks people and considers her family a cut above many of the others. However, I think that makes her determined to live up to her family name and the idea of “bringing shame“ to the ⬇ 2mo
TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) family is a real horror to her. It really seems to me that that is a bit driving part of what kept her with her grandmother for so long, and it definitely seems to be what kept her from certain romantic entanglements. LMM also had an amazing sense of humor and a knack for friendship. I think she had a huge capacity for affection that was thwarted again and again. Her description of her marriage as something that made her “content“ made ⬇ 2mo
TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) me so sad for her because it felt like she married someone who couldn't even be a real friend to her, and she seems like someone who desperately needed friendship in her life. I find myself wondering what her life would have been like if her mother had lived, if she had grown up in a house with parents who cared about her, with some younger siblings - I'm rambling wildly away from the actual question here 😂 but I guess the point is that⬇ 2mo
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TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) I think her journals show us not just who she was, but glimpses of who she could have been under different, happier circumstances. I so admire her determination to stay positive, to take moments to just drink in the beauty of the world around her and find peace in it, her commitment to what she viewed as her duties, and her ability to find and distill humor and humanity into virtually everything she wrote. 2mo
BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks The snobbishness is EXACTLY what I was thinking! That really came across in this volume more than in the previous one. But that judgmental eye combined with her sense of humor results in some hilarious recounting of various events! Her critical eye allows her to stand aside from certain moments and see the ridiculousness of it. I also wonder what it would have been like to meet her—whether I'd have stood up under her scrutiny! 2mo
BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks I echo your ramblings in thinking about LMM! So often when reading these journals, I run through “what if“ scenarios. I think she'd have been so much more grounded and less susceptible to depression) if she'd had a childhood with loving parents & siblings, instead of strict grandparents who did NOT understand her. Or if she'd married someone who could have been a true confidant and partner. Or if she'd had a good therapist 😆 2mo
TheAromaofBooks Her sad marriage is what really gets me the most, I think. It just seems like she was finally in situation where she could be “free“ and instead she shackles herself to someone she doesn't really respect and saddles herself with basically a full-time job (minister's wife) that she KNOWS she isn't going to like. I think it's SO interesting how many of her life choices really were based on “what people might say“ instead of what would actually make⬇ (edited) 2mo
TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) her happy. 2mo
lauraisntwilder @BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks I was surprised at how often she reread the parts of her journal that made her sad, but she didn't have anyone to reminisce with - her friends were either far away, dead, or greatly changed. As you've already mentioned, I wish she could've had some psychological help. She seems to have decided her life was over done with by the time she's 35 or so, like all her good days were over. Add to your list of "what ifs" > 2mo
lauraisntwilder < all the men whose proposals she rejected. 2mo
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BarbaraJean
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I have a super busy Saturday tomorrow, so I‘m posting our #LMMJournals #KindredSpiritsBuddyRead questions early!

Here we are at the end of the second volume of LMM‘s complete journals, ending this volume just after her marriage and the start of her honeymoon.

📚What stood out to you from this week‘s reading? From this volume overall?
📚What have you found to be most interesting or surprising from reading LMM‘s journals so far?

TheAromaofBooks So it's starting to run together a little, but was this the section where she actually went and met Mr. Jerk Publisher Page? What a creep! He's so manipulative! You can see how he made a successful career by preying on female authors! I wanted to tell her to run away!!! But instead she signed another contract with that horrid man. However, it was super fun to read about her journey to Boston and her adventures there haha 2mo
BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Yes, that was in this section! I got mad about slimeball Page all over again. What struck me was that she saw through his manipulation, but STILL signed that unfair contract. Even though she identified all his tricks, they were still effective tricks! And she goes on to acknowledge that she does NOT trust him. The guy knew what he was doing (unfortunately). But yes, I did otherwise enjoy reading about her Boston adventures! ⬇ 2mo
BarbaraJean (Cont'd) I thought it was lovely that she was able to have that trip, and enjoy herself so thoroughly. It was so rare for her to have that kind of experience at that point in her life, and it felt like the kind of escape she needed so desperately. 2mo
TheAromaofBooks Yes, she definitely knew what he was doing and seemed to just kind of have a “devil you know“ kind of attitude towards the whole situation. That guy was SUCH a sleeze! 2mo
lauraisntwilder @BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks It was my son's birthday weekend and I got distracted and never answered these! What stuck out to me the most was how little she talked about being engaged. She stopped talking about Ewan completely. 2mo
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lauraisntwilder
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Pickpick

LMM's early 30s, despite literary success and fame, seemed to have more than her fair share of sadness. Depression and loneliness were ever present in the winter months, with just her elderly grandmother for company. But when she's happy, if she's spending those happy moments writing, her words are effervescent and full of the beauty of the natural world. #kindredspiritsbuddyread

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BarbaraJean
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“I do feel so worried and unhappy all the time. I cannot even write my worries out here—they go too deep and cut too keenly. I seem to enjoy *nothing.* Always there is the undercurrent of dread and anxiety and heartsickness.
…If I had anyone to share the worry with me—to talk things over with—to assist—to encourage! But I have no one. And everywhere I look I can see nothing but darkness.”
😭💔⤵️
#LMMJournals #KindredSpiritsBuddyRead

BarbaraJean I thought we were going to have more balance between pain and happiness in this volume, Maud? That lasted until winter, I suppose. 😭 My heart really goes out to her with these kinds of entries. If only she‘d had access to some mental health professionals! 2mo
Blueberry 😥 2mo
TheAromaofBooks I just read this section this morning. Even scarier was just the next page or so when she takes the pain medication - knowing that she ends up taking addictive/destructive substances for the rest of her life (through medical ignorance of the time) that entry basically saying “maybe it isn't bad if I only take it now and then“ was kind of chilling. But I also can't blame her - days and days without sleep because of pain is so horrible! 2mo
lauraisntwilder It's even harder to read knowing she outlives Frede, the only person who seems to alleviate the pain and darkness. 2mo
BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks I know, right?! She's so hesitant about taking it at all, then rationalizes it in a perfectly reasonable way... but you just can't help seeing the foreshadowing! @lauraisntwilder I wish for a parallel universe where LMM didn't have to stay with her grandmother and Frede didn't die and the two of them can just have their own place and live out their best lives as cousin-old-maids. 2mo
31 likes5 comments
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BarbaraJean
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“In spite of my free confessions and self analysis, a stranger perusing these journals would receive from them a quite misleading impression of my real character and life.”

“…the second volume gives the impression of a morbid temperament, generally in the throes of nervousness and gloom. …in reality these spasms came at long intervals, when loneliness and solitude had broken down my powers of endurance. ⤵️

#KindredSpiritsBuddyRead #LMMJournals

BarbaraJean (Cont‘d) “…Between these times I was quite tolerably happy, hopeful and interested in life.

Well, I begin the third volume. I am going to try to strike a better balance in it—to write out my happiness as well as my pain.”
(Feb. 11, 1910)
2mo
BarbaraJean This is exactly what I was thinking in reading the bulk of this second volume of LMM‘s journals (side note: I wish they‘d been published to correspond to LMM‘s volume divisions!)—that it‘s not a balanced picture of her life. Since she so often uses her journal to “write out” her pain, we don‘t have a record of the happy times. But this got me thinking: does writing out the pain and not the happiness not only give a stilted perspective to the ⤵️ 2mo
BarbaraJean (Cont‘d) …”stranger” reading LMM‘s journals, but also emphasize the pain and not the happiness to LMM herself? What do you think: is it better to let yourself vent and get it all out, or to count your blessings and not focus on the negatives? Or is there a middle ground? (Asking for a friend 😂😂) 2mo
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lauraisntwilder I've always been a sporadic journaler, but I recently realized I hadn't written anything in my journal since shortly before my sister's cancer came back 3 years ago. We were still in lockdown mode, waiting for my son to be old enough for the vaccine, and I think the cancer news was just too much. I didn't have the words. In general though, I think it's good to vent! 2mo
TheAromaofBooks Whoops, I commented about this on the other post, because I hadn't read this one yet 😂 I think balance is good. I genuinely believe that gratitude and appreciation for our blessings make us better, happier, more pleasant people, so I'm a big believer in focusing on the positive. I definitely use my journal to sometimes write out “big feelings“ and I think that lots of times those are negative ones because we tend to try and figure out “why“ ⬇ 2mo
TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) when bad things are happening. When good things are happening, we don't generally deep-dive into the analytics as much, or at least I don't 😆 Sometimes things genuinely are hard, and you need to get things sorted out to figure out the best way through. But sometimes it's my attitude that's the issue, and sitting down and writing down 10 things I'm thankful for today, or writing a quick note to someone I appreciate helps me turn myself ⬇ 2mo
TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) around.

And not to get super religious on social media, but I'm a Christian, so lots of times I'll read Psalms when I'm feeling down - it's so good to remember that having feelings isn't a bad/sinful thing, and also knowing that I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way helps me keep my problems in perspective.
2mo
BarbaraJean @lauraisntwilder @TheAromaofBooks It's fascinating to me how journaling works so differently, even for the same person at different times! There are times that writing everything out has helped me immensely, and other times that I think it's exacerbated things by me rehashing stuff I needed to let go. And then as you said, Laura—sometimes there just aren't words. I used to keep a “prayer journal“ that really helped me process life circumstances ⬇ (edited) 2mo
BarbaraJean (Cont'd) ...and reflect on both the good & bad, with God (now I'm getting Christian-y, too 😊). I used to write in that journal almost daily, but there was a year I barely wrote at all because I was processing in different ways & praying in different ways. (I also realized I needed to stop measuring my faith by how often I was journaling!) I tend to over-analyze the bad & lean towards pessimism, so balancing out my reflection is important for me! 2mo
lauraisntwilder @BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks This line, from page 397, seems relevant to this discussion: "I long shrank from the pain I knew would be attendant upon the writing of grandmother's death and leaving Cavendish." I totally understand that. I think "writing it out" when you're down is helpful, but this is an important distinction -- you know bad times will pass, but some changes (like death) are permanent & words & writing can fall short. 2mo
BarbaraJean @lauraisntwilder Yes! She CANNOT write it out when it comes. That long gap between March 1911 and January 1912 is jarring to see, but so telling. When I saw the gap in dates, I did a double take, and then thought “Oh, no...I know what happened in between... 2mo
TheAromaofBooks @BarbaraJean @lauraisntwilder - Yes, I definitely think there is a sort of emotional paralysis that comes with genuinely huge changes/times of grief, especially ones you weren't expecting. I think writing it out can really help with situations where you are trying to make sense of things, make decisions, sort of analyze life, etc. But something like someone dying - it's a different kind of sadness, and you have to get further along before you can⬇ 2mo
TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) start to make sense of all the feelings. 2mo
BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Absolutely. I read Madeleine L'Engle's “The Summer of the Great-Grandmother“ right after my mother passed away, and I remember thinking so many times while reading that book: “This is exactly what it was like, and I wish I could record it the way she has.“ But it was still too close. 2mo
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BarbaraJean
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#KindredSpiritsBuddyRead #LMMJournals

Back into the journals this week! We‘ll finish Volume 2 next week!

What are your thoughts on this week‘s reading?

Any favorite sections, significant themes, or quotes that stand out to you?

And how about that marathon mini-bio entry we got?!

lauraisntwilder I loved the entry about Halley's Comet. 😊 And it was fun to end the week with Maud and Earl Grey sitting on the steps of an outhouse! 2mo
TheAromaofBooks @lauraisntwilder - Her talking about seeing people coming to use the outhouse and then skulking away was honestly hilarious to me 😂 2mo
TheAromaofBooks I was struck by her entry on Feb 11, 1910, where she says that her journals make it look like she's all doom and gloom all the time, but she actually isn't, and in between entries she is living an overall decent life. It reminded me how hard it is to get an accurate overview of someone's life from a completely first-person assessment.

2mo
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TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) I also loved the insult, after spending the afternoon with someone who annoyed her - “Sophy would make anyone in love with solitude.“ 😂

Right at the end of this section she talks about being trapped with her grandma. Do you think it's just duty that keeps her there? Fear of how people would talk if she left? She has independent means and can afford to hire help, hire someone to stay with her grandmother, to move, etc., yet she stays.
2mo
BarbaraJean @lauraisntwilder @TheAromaofBooks That outhouse scene was hilarious!! She paints the scene so perfectly, between: “I could not say to Earl Grey 'This is the MacPhail water closet'“ and: “I was suffering so acutely from a suppressed desire to laugh that I hardly knew what I was saying.“ 😂 Then the women in search of the W.C., and her fear “that some unfortunate was cooped up in the house behind us, not able to get out“ 😂 😂 2mo
BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Yes, that Feb 11 entry is fascinating. I feel like there was a shift in self-awareness for her, of what her journal would look like to others. Now she's an established author, her concept of what her journal is for is changing. She doesn't want a girlish record of social doings, and it can't be only a confidant anymore, a place for her to exorcise her feelings. She's now conscious of others reading it someday, and wants to give ⬇ (edited) 2mo
BarbaraJean (Cont'd) a more accurate view—but you're absolutely right, that is virtually impossible from a first-person account!

With her grandmother, I think it's a combination of things. I'm sure a LOT of it is duty—she feels a debt of care since her grandmother raised her. And no doubt there's also the burden of others' expectations: not just “what others would say“ but also her grandmother's own expectations. She feels like she can't even hire help ⬇
2mo
BarbaraJean (Cont'd) ...just around the home, because her grandmother would disapprove, so I doubt she'd feel like she could move and hire someone to care for her grandmother in her place! I also think a big part of it is her strong love of place (I think she's a LOT like Pat in that way). I don't think she could bear to leave Cavendish/PEI and all her favorite “haunts.“ But she's torn up about it because of the circumstances of her staying. 2mo
TheAromaofBooks It's just crazy to me that Maud is in her mid/late 30s now and still just 100% obedient to everything her grandma says, no matter how unreasonable. Things like actually heating the house, for instance - I feel like I would just tell Grandma to suck it up 😂 2mo
BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks 😂 😂 The whole not heating the house thing just MYSTIFIES me. She's waking up with frost on her quilts, for crying out loud!! I don't understand how LMM's grandmother wasn't complaining about the cold!! 2mo
TheAromaofBooks Like I understand wanting to respect it being her house and doing things her way to some extent... but not the extent of literal unnecessary misery that's destroying your health FOR NO REASON!!! 2mo
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lauraisntwilder
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I saw Halley's Comet when it last passed by Earth, when I was 4 years old. One set of those "eyes now unborn" were mine. ??

BarbaraJean That entry gives you chills a bit, doesn‘t it?! I remember seeing it in 1986 as well—I was 7! 2mo
lauraisntwilder @BarbaraJean Yes! I sent this picture to my sister, who is 5 years older than me and read all of the Anne books when she was young. I said, "She's talking about us!" 2mo
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