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On Our Best Behavior
On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good | Elise Loehnen
8 posts | 7 read | 1 reading | 4 to read
A groundbreaking exploration of the ancient rules women unwittingly follow in order to be considered good, revealing how the Seven Deadly Sins still control and distort our lives and illuminating a path toward a more balanced, spiritually complete way to live Why do women equate self-denial with being good? We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We feel virtuous when we wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day. We put others needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen explains that these impulsesoften lauded as unselfish, distinctly feminine instinctsare actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of mores known as the Seven Deadly Sins. Since being codified by the Christian church in the fourth century, the Seven Deadly Sinspride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and slothhave exerted insidious power. Even today, in our largely secular, patriarchal society, they continue to circumscribe womens behavior. For example, seeing sloth as sinful leads women to deny themselves rest; a fear of gluttony drives them to ignore their appetites; and an aversion to greed prevents them from negotiating for themselves and contributes to the 55 percent gender wealth gap. In On Our Best Behavior, Loehnen reveals how weve been programmed to obey the rules represented by these sins and how doing so qualifies us as good. This probing analysis of contemporary culture and thoroughly researched history explains how women have internalized the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover the integrity and wholeness we seek.
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Erin.Elizabeth10
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Pickpick

The author uses the 7 deadly sins as a framework to flip them and talk about the ways women limit, deny, or shame themselves. For example, use envy as a way to go for what you want, use greed as a way to make sure you meet your own needs, use anger as a way to make social change, etc. I thought this was an interesting concept and she had good points. My one fault with the book is that sometimes she oversimplified things or conflated things.

Erin.Elizabeth10 If you‘ve read other books on feminism, there‘s not much new here. I would say this is a soft pick. 7mo
18 likes1 comment
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RowReads1

“The system of patriarchy can function only with the cooperation of women. This cooperation is secured by a variety of means: gender indoctrination; the denial to women of knowledge of their history; the dividing of women, one from the other, by defining ‘respectability‘ and ‘deviance‘ according to women‘s sexual activities; by restraints and outright coercion; by discrimination in access to economic resources and political power; and by awarding-

RowReads1 -privileges to conforming women.” 9mo
28 likes1 comment
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RowReads1
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RowReads1

“I‘ve always liked asking questions. I was a precocious and curious child,probably a little annoying in my insistence to understand:Why?Why?Why? Fortunately for me my mother used the library as a babysitter. (my note: and worked in them) I always had my face in a book. I looked for answers in novels, history, science-anywhere they might be hiding. And on the long drive to and from town everyday, my parents played NPR‘s All Things Considered.”TRUE

RowReads1 and “prairie home companion” 11mo
24 likes1 comment
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RowReads1
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RowReads1
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🤔⛪️

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RebL
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I don‘t know that any of this text is surprising, but I do appreciate the framework. I tell people I could be religious but not spiritual, because I enjoy ritual but not so much the navel gazing. Accordingly, I appreciate the social commentary, but the last chapter on sadness goes too far out for me. I did chat my friends up about the book & would rec to newbie career peeps.

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fredthemoose
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Mehso-so

⭐️⭐️⭐️ The author frames the book in terms of the 7 deadly sins and how they create limiting behavioral expectations for women. Some interesting and useful information, but also a lot you‘ll recognize if you‘ve read much popular feminist work in the past few years. And it went back and forth between scholarly/general and anecdotal/personal (and often sort of woo woo) content in a way that I found distracting. So-so to soft pick.