The Ambition Decisions: What Women Know About Work, Family, and the Path to Building a Life | 
pickI flew through this audiobook. In the last chapter the two authors write that this book is “a mirror, a flashlight, and a compass.” I agree with this for my age group & demographic; it is so helpful to listen to how other women have made choices in how to balance (or not) ambition in career and motherhood and overall lifestyle. Ambition is something that can change year to year, depends on our partner, and can look different for different women.
saresmoore Great review! I will look for this on audio. 6y
Notafraidofwords @saresmoore I agree! Great review. But, I have to be honest...I have ambition fatigue. What‘s wrong with not having any? 6y
saresmoore @Notafraidofwords I hear that! I find myself constantly wrestling with the question of self-worth in the context of my family unit, though. I‘m also kind of a women‘s psychology junkie. 😬 6y
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batsy @Notafraidofwords I like that! I'm the same—ambition fatigue. 6y
BooksForEmpathy @saresmoore @Notafraidofwords @batsy I would love to have a book club discussion of how ambition influences our lives. Self-worth for me is so tied to what my career is all about, and I think about how that could change in unexpected ways if we decide to have kids. Ambition to me means the drive to do something and do it well, and it doesn‘t have to be about career. There were 3 types of women they described in the book: 👇🏻 6y
BooksForEmpathy The first group are women who are driven by career success and place high value on their jobs for financial and personal reasons. Then there are the women who choose to “opt out” of career ambition, in favor of being ambitious at home (these women also tend to have the highest rates of self-care), then there are the women who have flexibility in both career and home responsibilities. And then add in partners and their needs and this can change! (edited) 6y
BooksForEmpathy @Notafraidofwords Please tell me more about this ambition fatigue. I definitely feel you in how I would define it for myself... I‘ve been working towards becoming licensed as a therapist and then after as a school counselor my entire 20s, and now finally I have accomplished it but I am TIRED. I don‘t know what will ultimately make me the most happy/confident/fulfilled. Please share as well any thoughts! @saresmoore @batsy 6y
batsy I totally get your definition of ambition. For me, ambition fatigue is related to the way in which it must be tied to social capital & wanting to get ahead in the "rat race"—i.e. getting ahead of others. There's something about "competition" that doesn't fulfill me; it's not the person I want to be. I'm currently freelancing as a writer & I know people seem constantly puzzled that I don't want a Career... So maybe I speak from that frustration :) 6y
saresmoore @batsy You said it—social capital. Among women it seems that everyone feels judged and therefore judges in return. I think ambition is something I learned from my father, not necessarily something innate. As an educated lower-middle class non-religious homeschooling mother who doesn‘t have any income, I‘ve found that people don‘t know where to file me in their understanding of ‘Merica. Therefore I question: is ambition doing me any good? 6y
Notafraidofwords @saresmoore @batsy @booksforever whew girls. You are all preaching. I guess for me ambition fatigue is my exhausting attempts at trying to keep up with the rat race of a better job, better house, better pay...it feels like my worth is so tied up in what I do. And it makes me feel like people only ask what I do, in order to evaluate how they should treat me. And I‘m just exhausted by all of it. 6y
Notafraidofwords @saresmoore @batsy @BooksForEmpathy I‘m a child of strict Latino parents whose entire life spent telling me that I could be doing more. And the more always left me adrift and isolated. I could be cleaning harder. Working harder. Making better friends. Being better. And it always felt like conditions for love even if that was not the intention. And i never felt content. I mostly just felt like I wanted to stop. 6y
batsy @Notafraidofwords Yes, yes, exactly! You nailed it. @saresmoore @BooksForEmpathy I appreciate all of these perspectives... ❤️ 6y
Notafraidofwords @saresmoore @batsy @BooksForEmpathy & now that ambition is in and Hilary Clinton has okay-ed it, I‘m not sure where that leaves me. I‘m mostly tired of being defined by what those ambitions can get me. Like if tomorrow, I stopped doing my job...pretty sure my coworkers would hate it and my parents would be confused and everyone in my life would question it. But being...shouldn‘t that just be enough. 6y
Notafraidofwords @BooksForEmpathy @batsy @saresmoore and I‘m not saying you lovely ladies should feel bad. It‘s clear you are all accomplished and it‘s admirable. But, what if you guys failed at being a mother, therapist, writer...are you any less people...any less worthy of respect. I think not. 6y
BooksForEmpathy @Notafraidofwords I didn‘t take it that way at all! I appreciate all these perspectives so much and I agree. It‘s all tied up in social capital and sometimes I can‘t figure out if I do what I do because of what it “means” about me versus my own personal ambition. And I think both are true for me depending on the day. Some days I absolutely love it and I can‘t imagine not having my profession in my life. My heart is full. Other times, I‘m tired & 6y
BooksForEmpathy just want to curl up with books 📚. 6y
BooksForEmpathy @saresmoore Yes! Everyone feels judged and then judges in return. Where does ambition really get us and does it ultimately matter in making us happy? And if it does, why does it!? 6y
saresmoore @Notafraidofwords Oh, Hilary. I would love to have her as my president, but I do not want to be like her! 😂 Very well said, too. My chief ambition in life (ha!) right now is to help my kids feel valued and significant for simply living as compassionate humans. They aren‘t defined by their interests or accomplishments. It‘s a surprisingly uphill battle against cultural norms & adages like, “Those who can, do and those who can‘t, teach.” 🙄 6y
saresmoore @BooksForEmpathy You have one of those professions (not just jobs) with crazy high burnout rate, too. I can‘t imagine how stressful it must be! So much energy is spent in empathizing and caregiving and then you come home and have to do more of that to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner. I imagine separating ambition from identity, as well as career from self-worth is essential, but all the more difficult. 6y
Notafraidofwords @BooksForEmpathy I think is okay for every day to feel differently about it. I think it‘s good that we can have these discussions. I bet a lot of what we feel is just tied up in our culture. And all that greatnesss we often except from our country. 6y
Notafraidofwords @saresmoore ahhh, with kids it must be so difficult. So much of their behavior early on in life is on a reward system. Yet, it‘s so important that like you said...they are good people. 6y
